iGrenade, an icarly fanfic

iGrenade

(Freddie's POV)

A/N: Hello fellow Seddieites! I'm back with a song one-shot! This song is "Grenade" by Bruno Mars. A perfect song for Sam and Freddie in my opinion. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. A brilliant man named Dan Schneider does and he's way richer than me. I don't own Bruno Mars either. Damn!

...

"To be or not to be, that is the question." I stated outloud to my female friend Carly and Sam, who were both bored out of their minds listening to my paper for english on Shakespeare.

"To punch Freddie's face or not to punch Freddie's face, that is the question." Sam retorted in her discombobulated position on the Shay's colorful couch. I shot her a dirty glare and in return she flipped me the bird.

"Sam" Carly corrected. "It's not nice to insult Freddie on his paper. Shakespeare is...fun." She cringed saying that last part. That was my cue that I probably should put a halt on doing homework with them for the evening.

"So what should we do on the next show?" I asked while putting my books and folders away into my one-strap blue backpack.

"We should get Gibby to wax Freddie's legs again." Sam said sitting up.

"No way! That freakin' hurt last time. Why don't we find you a better attitude?" I snarled with my witty comeback. She again flipped me the bird.

"Alright, let's calm down before world war 3 happens in my living room. I was thinking of doing a top 20 countdown. Like on the radio. We could listen to the top 20 songs this week and each sing one on iCarly. But we'd have to pick a song that really speaks to us, something that relates to something in our lives." Carly suggested. I nodded in approval of this idea.

"I like it." I said.

"I'm in, but if either one of you sings Justin Bieber I'll have to blow chunk on Dorkward over here." I rolled my eyes at her crude comment and agreed.

...

After my mother forced me to take my 7 vitamin tablets and taking 2 tick bathes in a row, I sat on my bed in my robe trying to pick out which song I'd be singing. Nothing really sparked my interest until I heard the number 3 song. "Just the way you are" by Bruno Mars. It described the girl I loved so well. Carly is perfect just the way she is. Her perfect brown hair, those sparkling dark eyes of her, her full pink lips. It was impossible not to love her. My decision was made. This song was to be a sweet ode to the girl I loved: Carly.

...

The next day at school was boring as usual. Luckily we had iCarly tonight. I'd been memorizing the lyrics to "Just the way you are" for the past week. My thoughts were interrupted as I felt something wet and gross on the back of my neck as it traveled down the back of my shirt. Turning around I saw no one other than Sam with a smug look on her face holding a straw. I turned back to my original position and remained stationary until the bell rung for lunch. I got up and headed for my locker. Gibby was hanging out by the wall perpindicular to my locker when he saw me walk by.

" 'Ey Fredman! What's up my homefrizzle, fosho!" I started chuckling.

" Ok Gib, no more "Home boy" for you." I giggled as I grabbed my organic sack lunch out of my locker and headed towards the lunch room. Gibby followed.

"But that's a grillin' show homes! On a different note, I heard you were singing on iCarly tonight?" He questioned as we turned into another empty hallway.

"Yeah, and I'm singing a Bruno Mars song."

"Awh dude! Bruno Mars is a beast!"

"I know right!"

"Which song?" He asked.

"Just the way you are" I stated grinning from ear to ear.

"I love that song but man, it's way too overplayed. And it's not even his best song." Gibby had a pretty good taste in music. And he was right in some parts."Just the way you are" has been covered by so many guys who try to make their girlfriends swoon.

"What's his best song then?"

"I think it's called "Grenade". Definitely give it a listen. I'm gonna be late to Spanish, Adios!" Gibby's words started to sink in. Maybe I should sing the other song, "Grenade". It sounded pretty beast. All I know is a grenade is some sort of mini bomb thing or something like that. As I walked into the lunchroom I got out my headphones and went onto mobile splashface to listen to the song. Once I found it I sat at one of the outdoor lunchtables and let the lyrics soak in.

...

Oh. My. God.

That was seriously the most amazing song ever. And for the first time, this song really hit me (Well, not literally like that taco truck, but you get the jist.). And I only needed to listen to it about 4 times to memorize all the lyrics. Another funky thing was the first time I heard it, there was only one person it reminded me of: Sam.

Yes, Sam Puckett. Vicious blonde demon. Ya know, the one who basicly ruins my life everyday? Yeah, her. Well I don't love her like I love Carly. No. Not even close. I always thought I hated her. After listening to this song I realized one thing: I was in love with her.

No, not like creepy Edward and Bella love from Twilight, gross. I'm not even going to go into elaboration about how wrong it is for a 16 year old girl to be dating a 100 year old dude. That just screams pedofile. Also, his family almost killed her because of a freaking papercut, what would they do if she got her period?

OFF TOPIC CONSCIENCE!

Anyway, yes, I am in love with Sam. Notice the IN. That's the big difference between my feelings for her and my feelings for Carly. One little word really makes a difference once you think about it.

Glancing sideways at my clock I realized I was running late for iCarly! I quickly grabbed my phone and my keys and sprinted across the hall and up the stairs to the studio.

"Sorry I'm late! I was-"

"No one cares what you were doing Fredtard. We have 3 minutes until we go live. It's not like Doc Brown is going to pull up in a Delorean and make you travel back to 12 minutes ago when you should've been here." Sam ranted while angrily chewing a fatcake.

"Sam, you didn't even get here until 2 minutes ago." Carly pointed out. Sam shushed her as I fixed the microphone and got the CD ready to play the songs. Carly was singing "Teenage dream" by Katy Perry Sam was singing "Take it off" by Ke$ha (which really isn't a shocker.) and you already know what I'm singing. My wristwatch went off, signaling me we had T-10 seconds until the show started. As the girls took their pose in front of the camera I counted them off and pointed.

"In 5...4...3...2..."

...

After Sam finished her song she bowed before the audience at home.

"Thank you, thank you very much. And now for the last act for the night. We didn't save the best for last this time, please welcome Fredward Dorkson" She introduced me as she "accidentaly" pressed the 'boo' button on her remote. I stood infront of the mic, my knees wobble a bit. I cleared my throat.

"Thanks Sam." I said bitterly as I glared at her. "Anyway, I'll be singing a song that wasn't necessarily a top 20 sellout just yet but, to me, it's a great song. It's by Bruno Mars and is called "Grenade". I cued the girls to start the music. I stiffly took my place behind the mic and gripped it tightly as I started to sing.

easy come, easy go
that's just how you live
oh take, take, take it all but you never give

I felt more confident as I started to sing more

should of known you was trouble from the first kiss
had your eyes wide open
why were they open

My gaze turned to Sam who was eating a fatcake. No suprise there. Then, I caught her gaze at me too. I think she was blushing.

gave you all i had and you toss in the trash
you toss it in the trash, you did
to give me all your love is all i ever ask
cos what you don't understand is

i'd catch a grenade for ya (yeah yeah)
throw my head on a blade for ya (yeah yeah)
i'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah yeah)
you know i'd do anything for ya (yeah yeah)
oh whoa oh
i would go through all this pain
take a bullet straight through my brain
yes i would die for you baby
but you won't do the same
no no no no

And it's true, I would do all those things for Sam. Even if she doesn't know, or she knows but doesn't appreciate it, it's the god to honest truth.

black, black, black and blue
beat me til i'm numb
tell the devil i said hey when you get back to where you're from
mad woman, bad woman that's just what you are
yeah you smile in my face then rip the breaks out my car

Well, close. She ripped my breaks from my bike before.

gave you all i had and you toss in the trash
you toss it in the trash, yes you did
to give me all your love is all i ever ask
cos what you don't understand is

I noticed as the song went on even more I started getting into the singing. Even dancing a little bit. I'm no Michael Jackson when it comes to dancing. More like Carlton Banks.

if my body was on fire
ooh you'd watch me burn down in flames
you said you love me, you're a liar
cos you never ever, ever did baby

As the song took a lyrical pause I realzied even more how true the lyrics were. Sam's a cruel cold-blooded person at times. So why do I have these feelings?

but darling i'd still catch a grenade for ya (yeah yeah)
throw my head on a blade for ya (yeah yeah)
i'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah yeah)
you know i'd do anything for ya (yeah yeah)
oh whoa oh
i would go through all this pain
take a bullet straight through my brain
yes i would die for you baby
but you won't do the same
no you won't do the same
you wouldn't do the same
you'd never do the same
no no no no no

The song ended as Carly and Sam joined me in the center stage. They applauded my performance as I went back behind my camera for the rest of the show.

...

The show ended as the 3 of us went downstairs to watch a movie and hang out for a while longer.

"Guys, I'll be right back. I have to run to Mal-mart for some popcorn and Spencer's ointment. Please let me come back and find my furniture and Freddie all in one piece." Carly said grabbing her coat and standing in her doorway.

"No promises." Sam said twirling her hair bored. Carly left which left us, alone. Oh goody.

"Benson!" She called me over from her usual sloppy position on the couch. I gulped before walking over.

"What?"

"That song you sang tonight, you know that's my favorite song right?" I choked on my own spit for a second there.

"It is?" I tried to ask as casually as my teen boy voice would let me without cracking.

"Yup, Gibby had me listen to it. I told myself if I ever heard a guy sing that song in my presence, well..." She came closer to me. "I might just have to make him mine." She smirked. I don't know what compelled me to do what I did next, but I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her. Unsurely, she kissed me back as I slid my hands down her waist. She asserted her dominance and pinned me to the floor, making us have an awkward, full-on makeout session. We stopped after about 29 minutes of continuous kissing and tonsil hockey and settled down to watch TV. Carly came in a minute later with some grocery bags.

"Hey guys! Phew, I'm glad my house is in tact and you're both breathing normally...sort've. Wow, you guys look like you just had a wrestling match. What the chizz happened while I was gone?" She asked placing her hands on her hips.

"You ever heard the term 'peaceful war'? Well, Fredward and I played that with grenades."

...

(6 years later)

I just came back from a wedding. Sam's wedding. Actually, me and Sam's wedding. Yup, Sam's officially a Benson now. We made it to the reception where Gibby made his best man speech and Carly made her maid of honor speech. After we were all done with crying after both speeches, Sam and I had our cake. She stuffed her piece in my face and some down my pants. I stuffed some down her bra and she kicked me in the family jewels. I was on the ground for 5 minutes recovering. After that I'd gotten up and hobble over to the mic near the DJ.

"Alright, I'd like to dedicate a song to my lovely bride Sam. Sam, you're the ying to my yang, the sun to my moon, the hell to my heaven." People laughed after that one. I laughed too.

"Not joking...Anyway, you're the-"

"Just get on with the song!" She hollared which sent the whole room into gigglefits and sent Nevel on the floor, drunk and crying.

"Well then, some things never change...and now I'd like to present the new Mrs. Benson with this song." I cued the band to start playing as I started off the song.

easy come, easy go
that's just how you live
oh take, take, take it all but you never give

should of known you was trouble from the first kiss
had your eyes wide open
why were they open...