Summary: In life there are always two battles. One for honor, and one for love. What will happen when the line between the two blurs? Join Astrid, on her journey for honor for her family and love for her soul in the devastating era known as World War Two. As she faces life, death, hope and loss, will she find the one she loves? Or will he too, become just another blur in the game of war?
Pairings: Germany/OC (More to come as the story goes on)
Warnings: Adult language, some 'Hot, Hot Hot'(as my friend calls them) scenes, and some bloody Death scenes. My message to the Squeamish; LOOK AWAY!
"What is your name?"
"Astrid Valentinovna Herrmann"
"Where are you and your family from?"
"My mother was born in Skien, Norway. My father was born in Berlin, Germany. My brother Martin was born in , Russia one year before I. I lived in Russia all my life until two weeks ago when I came here"
"What Languages do you speak?"
"Ich spreche Deutsch, Jeg snakker norsk, Я говорю на русском, Je parle français, and I speak English" His jaw clenches when I say french, but I know it's important to know the tongue of the enemy.
"Why are you here?"
"To fight for my people and Führer"
"You'll do quite nicely" I nod, and he looks at me with a side glance. His blue eyes are like sapphires. And his porcelain skin glows in the sunset light.
I look straight ahead with my hands behind my back and my legs shoulder width apart. My muscles are taunt, and the Drill Sargent walks in circles around me. The soldiers behind me stare, and feel his lift up my hair from my shoulder to inspect my neck.
"Do you have what it takes to be part of the German army?" He asks; dropping my hair back into place.
"Herr, Jawohl Herr" I bring my arm up to point to the sky at an angle, and I clear my throat. "Heil Hitler!" I shout. He nods, and looks at the other men surrounding me.
"You are very unusual" He states. "You are the only woman in German history to be accepted for battle." I swallow hard, and he comes to look at my face. "Are you absolutely sure you wish to fight?" He asks. I'm caught off guard, and I stare directly into those eyes.
"You do question my capabilities? I can fight just as well as any other man in this army," And he is obviously surprised by my rash words, but I don't back down. "Just because I am a woman does not mean I can not fight" He stares at me, and I see a single strand of his blond hair out of place.
I suddenly have to urge to push it back, but I don't move my muscles from this stance; Arms at my sides, legs strong and in a position ready to fight or run if needed. But I will never run. I was not raised to do as such.
"I could beat you in any fight" the people around us gasp, and He hides his utter shock and humiliation under a red face.
We stand there, for well over an hour staring at each other, silently fighting for dominance with just our eyes. The sun has set, the night hair has a chilled tint to it. Goose bumps rise up over my skin, but I don't shiver to ease the sensations. This man may be a higher ranking officer, but that does not mean he can boss me around after only being here for two days.
I hold my gaze, he'll need to step back eventually. But I can go all night. I see red lines begin to appear in his eyes. The right corner of my mouth tilts up just a millimeter in a smirk, and he pulls back.
"Dismissed!" He shouts, and I stand back to salute.
"Heil Hitler!" We all shout in unison, and I turn to my right to leave for my bed. But the man grabs my shoulder, and I'm left standing at full attention until every last solider has left. We are the last standing in the dead of a summer night.
"That was very bold of you" He says. I keep my mouth closed until I have permission to speak. "Almost too bold" He stares at me, and I continue to look off into the distance.
"Permission to speak Herr?" I ask, but he rises his hand to silence me.
"I have half a mind to expel you from this camp" I swallow hard, and I take a deep breath to steady my heart beat. "If it were not for your birthright, I would have shot you point blank the moment you spoke out against me" I bite my tongue to keep myself from doing so again and he gets in my face. "So, if you say you can beat me in any fight, why don't you do so?" He says, leaning back somewhat. "Right here, right now"
"Are you afraid to be beaten by a woman in front of your comrades Herr Beilschmidt?" I ask, but he only grinds his teeth. It was convenient of him to dismiss the battalion before he challenged me.
"No. Right now" He says, and I shrug.
"Suit yourself" I say, and with out warning I swing my leg around to take away his balance. But he counters it, and grabs my ankle and twists so end up on my stomach with him on my back. I use my free hands to grip at the dirt, and I throw it into his face to temporarily blind him.
The German groans, and his hand loses grip on my ankle. I take the opportunity to flip him over. I straddle his hips and hold his hands above his head. My legs to tangle in his own, and now he's completely idle.
I smirk when he struggles, and he stares at me with blue eyes. Those eyes dig into my soul and my breath is stolen away. I can feel every muscle moving slowly beneath his now muddied uniform, and my heart beat echos in my ears. His legs are strong against my own, and one of them twitches to see if he can break lose.
I swallow hard, and lick my lips. Those eyes draw me in, and I feel myself lowering my face closer to his. My long hair drapes over my shoulder and creates a curtain on the side of his face, and his facial expression mirrors mine. Shock and awe.
"I have proven myself, Da?" I ask with my Russian accent upon my tongue thickly, and he nods. I get off him, and he dusts off the dirt from his ruffled clothes. He looks at me, and he spits onto the ground in anger.
"You may retire" He stalks off toward his tent. I huff and walk back to my own tent. I close the flap behind me, and I sigh at the warmth from the small pot bellied stove that acts as my heat source. I take off my warm jacket and I toss it onto my bed, leaving only my well tailored uniform shirt upon my flesh.
Because my father is one of The Führer's child hood friends, I get top issued facilities. Such as a private bath, a heated tent, and I am allowed to eat with the Captains and Officers upon my will. The entire tent in which I reside is large enough to house fifteen people, but seeing as I'm the only female soldier, I get the whole thing to myself!
Sometimes, being the only woman in a camp of men can have it's advantages.
"Bonjour Astrid" Sometimes not. "How are you this fine evening?" His voice is sultry and hinted with lust, and I smile at him when I turn around toward the tent opening.
"Wunderbar. Now leave me be" I frown, and the man only smiles. His blond hair is long and falls into his face. His blue eyes shine with want, and I clench my jaw.
"Oh, do not be that way mon amour" His accent fills me ears. He walks toward me, and I frown.
"If it were not for your father being a general, I would say you're a French spy" he laughs, and he walks in a circle in my tent. This, game he plays, has been going on since the first night I arrived here.
"You truley are a beauty to behold" He twirls my red hair in his fingers and I fight the urge to punch him in the jaw. "Why don't we enjoy some wine?" He asks and I frown. "Maybe, we could enjoy each other"
"You know alcohol is forbidden unless we are at a celebration" He smirks, and pulls out a bottle of french wine and two glasses from a sack hanging over his shoulder "No Francis. Now get out of my tent before I incapacitate you" He laughs.
"Ohonhonhon. You do not frighten me Astrid" He whispers, and leans against me. I'm pushed against my bed frame, and his face becomes only centimeters from mine.
"You're already drunk" I push him away, and he grabs my chin. "Get off me" I order, and he smiles.
"You know you want me." He smiles and a finger traces the buttons of my uniform shirt.
"Don't touch me" I whisper. This man only spews empty words, but now I'm fearful that he is acting upon his fantasies.
"Don't touch me" He mimics my voice, and I hold my breath as his hands work at unbuttoning my shirt. "You kill me with your humor" He smiles, and his tongue snakes out to run over my jaw line.
Goosebumps rise over my skin and I hold back bile. His free hand grips mine, he pulls both of them above my head. The momentum of his strength sends us flying onto the bed, and I grunt when he lays his full body weight on top of me.
"Tell me. What did Luddie do to you for embarrassing him in front of his men like that?" He asks, and his hand makes fast work of my shirt. Luddie? Is he speaking of the Drill Sargent? I struggle, and I use my legs to kick up against him, but all it does is make Francis want more of my skin to touch.
"Get off me" I order, but he only buries his face into my neck. He sucks on the flesh and I close my eyes. My breath is stolen away and I buck my hips in a final attempt to remove him from my person.
"Excited, are we?" He asks, and I point my head away from him to keep his vile lips from touching my face. His mouth latches back onto my neck, and I moan in pain. I don't need a mirror to know I already have bruise.
"I said get off!" I shout, but he only covers my scream with his lips. I feel him laugh and I bite down on his tongue when it slithers into my mouth, hard enough to draw blood. He sits up and screams in pain. "I warned you" I whisper. He looks at me with anger, and I jump from my bed to tackle him to the ground.
I twist his arms, and I press his face into the hard wood floor. My finger nails dig into his skin and I hear him whimper.
"I will get off of you-" I breath heavily, suddenly tired. "And you will leave my tent" He nods, and I jump back as he struggles to stand.
"That hurt-"
"I could have done worse damage" I scold him, and I take the bottle of wine and glasses from him as he reaches for them. "And I think I'll keep this." I smile, and he sighs helplessly.
"Astrid-"
"You do not call me that. My name is Herrmann. Now get out of my tent, Bonnefoy" He doesn't move, and I set my new wine on my desk. "I said get out!" I take hold of the collar of his uniform and I drag him from my tent.
I throw him to the ground when I'm outside, and he looks up at me through a cloud of dust.
"Astrid-" He starts again, but I lean down and point into his face.
"If you enter my tent, call me that name, or touch me, ever again-" His face is contorted in fear, and he keeps looking over my shoulder. "I will cut your lul off and feed it to the dogs" He starts backing up, and I stand up to watch him scuttle away like a broken crab.
I breath deeply, and I look down to see my shirt undone and my brassiere flaunting in the artificial light from lamps. I re-button it, and I turn back toward my tent.
"That was some show" I jump back to see the drill Sargent standing in the middle of my tent looking at the wine bottle. I immediately get into attention, and he walks up to me.
"Permission to speak Herr?" I ask, but he shakes his head.
"If I catch you brawling with another soldier, you will be on the next transit out of here"
"Yes Herr" I whisper.
"Guten Nacht Fräulein"
"Guten Nacht" He leaves my tent, and I hear his shoes crunch over the gravel.
"Can this day get any worse?" I think to myself. I've been here for a total for three weeks, and already I've been accused of being a spy, have been sexually harassed by other men, and almost raped. When Pappa warned me of the camp 'conditions' I had no idea it would be this bad.
I sigh and stand up. I walk to a small dresser, which is really just a suit case of my clothes on a fold-able table, and I pull out my night clothes. Just a plain grey shirt and a pair of black boxer shorts I stole from my brother.
I miss Martin. He's only a year older than me, but because he has a crippled foot from falling on the ice, he wasn't allowed to enlist. In order to keep our family's honor I took my brothers' place.
People say we would be twins for our attitudes, but we look nothing like each other. He has my father's Light blond hair and blue eyes, the epitome of what a Herrmann should look like. While I have my mothers' red hair. I have Violet eyes, like no one else in my family.
Violet was said to be a lucky color, saying that no harm would be brought to me. So far that saying is... somewhat true.
I quickly change my clothing, and toss my bra into a small basket for cleaning in the morning. I crawl into bed with the blanket tucked up to my chin. I close my eyes, and I smile as my muscles relax.
"Everyone up! Emergency Drill!" The words are like bullets in my ears, and I shoot up in my bed. My heart starts pounding and I throw the blankets to the floor. I stick my head out of my tent, and I see everyone running by in their night clothes and line up in full attention. I slip on my shoes and I do the same, and I stand next to a random solider.
I feel eyes on me, and I ignore the perverted whispers that are spoken around me.
"Sehr gut" I bite my lip when I see the drill Sargent fully decked out in his uniform, and as he passes I can't help but feel self conscious.
Why is everyone staring at me? They're all wearing the same thing! Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean they can stare at me like I'm a painting in some museum. I swallow hard, and I feel a dull ache rise up on my neck. I dare to look down with my eyes, and I see a golf ball sized bruise on my neck.
That is what everyone is staring at.
"But it could have been just a bit faster" He eyes no one in particular, but his eyes soon land on me. "Everyone back to your tents" He orders, and I relax my muscles and ruffle my hair to fix it. It must have become disheveled when I ran here. I close my eyes and I walk back to my tent.
"Hello Herrmann" I turn as I'm about to enter, and I see a man with short brown hair and a calm face. I narrow my eyes.
"What do you want Louise?" The Italian winks at me, and I grind my teeth.
"I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me tomorrow" I roll my eyes and I open the flap to my tent. "Please?" He asks, and he leans on the metal pole keeping my tent up.
"No" I say, and He makes a face.
"Bitte?" He asks in German, and I put on the most charming smile I can muster.
"No" I close the flap on his face, and I hear a disgruntled sound. I laugh, and return to my bed for a good nights sleep.