It's just a crush. It has to be. Not even his luck could be so bad have to have the love of his life be a transforming robot from outer space.
But he can't stop thinking about Arcee.
Jack's always been smart. Not a genius like Raf, but he's always been good at figuring things out. He's a kid, but he's not stupid.
And he knows this thing with Arcee—this thing that's between them they call friendship because it's too dangerous to call it what it really is—can't have a happy ending.
He can't stop thinking about her. When they're apart, he finds himself counting the minutes when they can be together again. Something comes alive in him when they're together. He feels stronger. Better. More alive.
It's like some kind of chemical reaction between them.
And she feels it too.
He knows it. He can see it in her … a slight change in her voice, her posture. Maybe he's the only one who can see it, but it's undeniably there.
And it called him back to her. It will always call him back to her.
When he left, it was the smart decision. He wasn't a genius like Raf. He had nothing to offer the Autobot cause. The smart thing to do was to leave.
He knew that.
And when Miko came to him, he had no trouble at all telling her no.
He wouldn't come back for Miko.
But Arcee …
How could he say no to her?
He dreams about her.
Sometimes he dreams that she's a human girl. His girl.
Other times he dreams that he's an Autobot.
But as sweet as those dreams are, he would not give up reality for them.
Arcee is an Autobot. He lo—don't say it—he cares about her. A human Arcee would not be an Autobot. She wouldn't be Arcee. She wouldn't be his Arcee.
And he wouldn't be her Jack as Autobot. An Autobot couldn't be her rider …
She will live long after he's dead and gone … unless the eternal war between Autobot and Decepticon takes her from him.
It almost has—more than once.
They don't have a future. They can't have what they both want but will never speak of.
But they have the road.
It's all they have. All they will ever have.
So he tells himself that it's just a crush. He tells himself that so they can continue on—so they can have what they do have.
It's just a crush. It has to be just a crush.
If he keeps telling himself that, maybe he'll believe it.