Title: Soldier Dispair
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: Soldiers if you want it to be, CloudxReno implie
Rating: some minor nudity
A/N: How old are the Soldiers anyway? This is what I could find.
Officially, Genesis Rhapsodus 25 birthday celebration was the most spectacular event of the year. The largest of ShinRa's many ballrooms was filled to the brim with beautiful men, women and quite a few whose sexual orientation and belongings was ambiguous to say the least. There was music, fine wine and champagne, exquisite food, scandals, gossips, nudity shocks – some planned, others not – and the kind of laughter and feasting that made certain this would be a party to remember for life. Cid Highwind put up a marvelous firework show, Lazard and Rufus had another one of their spectacular fallouts, Turks danced naked on the tables and passed out sitting in the crystal punchbowl – which didn't stop anyone from drinking from it – and Genesis flowed through the beautiful madness he created, laughing, dancing, splendid in his diva role of utter attention.
Unofficially, Genesis broke down in a heartbreaking tearfest the moment the sun rose and the last stragglers had been ushered out the door.
"I am so old!" He sobbed, sitting tiredly on a chair in the middle of broken glass, furniture and pieces of cake. "So old!"
"Calm down, Gen." Angeal tried to comfort his friend by patting his back. "it's not that bad….."
"Oh shut up! You don't know what you are talking about, you're still young!" Genesis pushed away his hand and Angeal exchanged a look of despair with the other four men still in the room. Sephiroth just rolled his eyes while Zack was too busy petting the glittery spikey hair of Cloud who was all but sleeping in his lap. The five of them were alone although Angeal knew there would be Turks lurking somewhere in the corners; there always were. Fortunately they were tactful enough to stay hidden from the crying Soldier. Or maybe just clever enough not to be caught up in the drama. Technically, Angeal supposed that Reno wasn't really hiding but as he was snoring with his head and feet hanging out of a semi-empty punch bowl, he didn't really count. His pale ass could be seen in the bottom of the bowl, amongst remains of liquor and marinated fruit. Angeal shook his head at that, but he supposed it was normal behavior for a Turk. Soldiers, with their enhanced bodies and senses, had a life expectancy higher than a normal human but Turks had a far higher turnover rate. Frankly Angeal would be surprised if Reno lived to see his next birthday, while Angeal fully expected to live to see 100 years.
"I'm just three months younger than you." Angeal sighed but that only made Genesis sob harder.
"I fail to see what significance birthdays have." Sephiroth snorted, trying to pick confetti from his hair. The glittery things made him look somewhat like a Christmas tree. "All they signify is how many times the planet has circled the sun with you on it. It has no real relevance on achievement, wisdom or experience. Aging is a constant process that wears away the human body, in fact, muscles usually start to degrade around 25 years…."
"Not helping, Seph!" Angeal did his best to try to stop Genesis from jumping on the War Hero and strangle him.
"You don't understand! I'm the oldest person in here." Looking truly devastated Genesis pointed with a shaking finger. "You, most beloved Angeal, won't be 25 until next year, Sephiroth has at least 7 months left of his youth, Zack is 23, little Cloud is just 16! And that skanky thing over in the punch bowl is…" Uncertain, Genesis turned to Reno who stirred enough to cough out a marinated cherry and slur:
"Fucking legal." Before falling unconscious again.
"Is he awake? He drunk like half the bar." Cloud blinked in surprise.
"Nah, I think that was just a reflex." Zack shook his head.
"The point is," Genesis continued, sinking back in the chair, "that I don't do…old." His shoulder slumped and started shaking again.
Angeal exchanged anther look with the others, but no help was to be found. Zack just flapped his arms in something that was probably Gongaga charades for 'do something', Cloud looked like he would either cry as well or fall asleep and Sephiroth just shrugged uncaring while studying the marinated Turk with a kind of morbid fascination. Angeal was at a loss of what to do, Genesis was obviously not handling this, he needed some pep talk, but Angeal didn't know what to say….
"Perhaps I can be of some assistance?" A voice behind them made all five men jump and Reno try to crawl into hiding in a fetus position in the bowl, which didn't work well as it was quite transparent. Possibly another reflex. Tseng, unflappable and calm as ever even with a cheerfully glittery party head perched at a humorous angle on his head. He bowed slightly. "If you gentlemen would help me get my Turk out of the bowl, I will see what I can do with Mr. Rhapsodos."
"Are you sure…." Angeal hesitated, but Tseng just nodded. Reluctantly, Angeal shooed the rest of the Soldiers over to Reno.
"Genesis Rhapsodus." Kneeling down, Tseng put a hand on Genesis' knee, getting his attention. "you are indeed the first Soldier First Class to reach 25 years. But you do know what that means."
"No. I don't." Genesis sulked. Behind them, the four others struggled with Reno in the punchbowl. The Turk was remarkably reluctant to get out of his makeshift bed and also slippery like an eel due to having marinated in alcohol and fruit juice for the better part of two hours.
"I means that the next time ShinRa holds a party like this, it will be for Angeal." Tseng ignored the swearing behind them. "And he don't have as many friends as you. It will be a much, much smaller event, and possibly even…sport themed. No one will really remember it for long." He could feel Genesis' sobs abating somewhat. "And then there will be….Sephiroth's 25 birthday party."
The sobs stopped. Genesis blinked away tears as realization hit him. Behind them Angeal, Zack and Sephiroth had given up trying to lift up the passively resisting Turk and had now started to turn the bowl over, spilling punsch and possibly Turk onto the table. Cloud meanwhile had fallen asleep on the floor.
"Sephritoh doesn't have any friends but us." Genesis mused. "His only other emotional detachments is with Masamune and that Cactuar on his desk."
"Exactly. But there is of course no possible way ShinRa will let their most precious warrior get away with less than the blow out of a century. They will invite everyone who is anyone. And place Seprhitoh in the center of all that attention."
A small, evil smile spread across Genesis' lips. Behind them the heavy crystal bowl turned over, spilling out Reno but as the bowl was also slippery it too feel and caught Reno underneath it. He kept snoring, like a turtle in a crystal shell. Unfortunately, Cloud was stuck in there with him.
"Oh, how he will loath that." Genesis purred. "Attention of strangers and fans. We will have to disarm him, of course. And sedate him. Possibly repeatedly. And maybe will overdo it just a little and make sure he ends up as a floating icicle in the punchbowl."
"Indeed. And then there is Zack Fair's birthday….."
"Which inevitably turns horrendously tacky! There will be beer and inflatable flamingoes everywhere!" Genesis shone up. Angeal and Zack tried to stop Sephiroth from kicking the bowl to pieces to free Cloud. Reno woke up and took the opportunity to some groping. Zack and Angeal had to wrestle down Sephiroth and sit on him to stop him.
"And the little trooper…." Tseng glanced at the mess of Soldiers and particullary the two half naked, alcohol sticky young men making out in a glass prison while three First Class Soldiers wrestled outside. "Well, let's see if he lives to see 25 first before worrying about that."
"You are right, Tseng." Rising up from the chair, Genesis brushed himself off and squared his shoulders. "This was the party of a lifetime. Nothing will ever come close to matching it! I am and will remain the First amongst equals…." He took in the mess the others had made and sighed. "Or at least as equal as they can hope to be." Flipping the bowl over with his boot he freed Cloud and Reno. "Let's go, gentlemen! Off to bed, all of you. You look terrible, honestly, it's such a chore being the more mature and wise one." Berating them all the way he led them towards their rooms.
Tseng looked down at the once more passed out Turk, then removed his party hat and placed it h some to provide some modesty on Reno before grabbing a scrawny ankle and pulling him along from the ruined ballroom. He wondered how long it would take for Genesis to realize that Rufus' 25 birthday was just around the corner.