All through practice for the municipal band concert tomorrow, I held back my sound, fearing that Kerry, the oh-so-talented Kerry Myers, would hear me and think I sucked...bad. As a result, I'm sure my oboe hated me, but I couldn't do anything about it. This music was hard and I was having a difficult time with all of it, especially being so afraid of screwing up, since Kerry was so talented. But at least Betty Gilkison wasn't there anymore. If she had still been there, I'd have really died. But then again, that's one more person to cover second part...ah well. I was shy and felt incompetent anyways.
Finally Mr. Spiller let us out for our break at 8:33. We had to be back and ready to play by 8:45. I carefully pulled my reed out of my oboe and then waited for an opening in the line of clarinets and bassoons behind me. At last I escaped and started heading towards the tuba section, where my boyfriend, Jeremy, resided. But he had already put down his tuba and was heading towards me.
"Boo!" I said.
"Boo," he said back, making a funny face. I laughed a little. "Let's go outside, after I get a drink, that is."
"Okay." I followed him out and took a small drink of water from the fountain outside. That fountain was my life-saver. It was right between the choir room and the band room in the music building, where I planned on spending most of my high school life. Already, it was becoming inevitable that it would become my home. Some days I never left until 9:30, 10:30 at night after a concert or game. But I went to that fountain whenever my dear reed started acting up, or when I was nervous and needed an excuse to get away from everyone. It was also an excuse not to warm up in front of Kerry, since I thought I sucked so bad. And it got me out of choir so I could goof off, go to the bathroom, or in the rare occasion that we weren't doing anything in choir, visit Jeremy while he was practicing tuba in the band room.
He got his drink and I followed him outside. We walked around to the side of the building and saw a bunch of people on the football field practicing for some sport or something. Jeremy smiled and said, "I still think it'd be fun to make out in those bleachers. Sneaking around at State was fun and this is our home turf so it makes it that much more exciting." At State Solos/Small Ensembles (I was in the Freshman Girls ensemble, he was taking a tuba solo) we had spent the whole day together and took everything opportunity possible to find abandoned corners to kiss. Right before he went in to play his tuba solo, I made sure he got a good luck kiss. "We've gotta make out beneath them, too." I chuckled. "What? Think about it. One day you can tell our kids that you made out with me in the bleachers and got officially engaged, as well."
I looked at him, surprised. I'd said we were unofficially engaged because we already talked about plans for after we're married and he's talked about proposing to me. But it never seemed serious until now. And he'd never hinted at any real-life plans that could actually happen, either.
"What's that look for? I'm going off to college after this school year and I want you to be all mine."
I smiled. We walked around to the back of the band room, continuing our way around the music building.
"You know it's probably not going to be anything special, right?"
I gave him a gentle look. "You know I don't care."
"The ring isn't gonna be anything special. I'll probably just give you my class ring. I'll have to see if Megan can find it yet, or if she can't, I'll just get the certificate and order a brand new one."
"Well, the fancy stuff can be saved for the wedding ring itself." He smiled. "Yeah, I wonder what my parents will say about this," I said.
"Nooo...nevermind. We're not getting engaged. They would kill me."
"No they won't," I said. He gave me a this-is-reality look. "I won't tell them."
"Are you not going to wear the ring?"
"I just won't wear it around them."
He continued walking and I followed closely at his side. "So who all are you going to tell," he asked.
"Well, I have to tell my two best friends in the whole world."
"I bet they'll laugh at you."
"No they won't. Because if they do, I'll shove their laughter down their throat with a punch in the face." Yes, I can be a particularly violent person if you piss me off. And one sure way to piss me off is to talk bad about anyone I care for, especially if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with that person.
"Cheyenne..."
"I will. They won't laugh. If I can't trust them with this, who can I trust?"
He sighed. "Well, we should probably get back in there."
I nodded and steered back inside, cradling my oboe. (C'mon, do you really think I'm gonna leave my baby stranded on a chair in the band room where it could get bumped accidently, knocked to the floor and cracked or shattered into a million pieces!) I stopped at the water fountain and took several long drinks. Jeremy went back into the band room and then came out after a few seconds. After a few seconds of juggling my oboe, my reed, and my hair, I finally told him to hold my oboe while I got a drink.
"It's difficult to get a drink with hair, an oboe, and a reed." He laughed. We went back inside soon rehearsal started back up again. By the end of practice, I was tired and my back hurt like hell. My back was always out of shape when I hadn't played for so long because it required so many muscles that I don't normally use and I had to sit incredibly straight. Yes, I'm an addicted sloucher. So sue me.
Jeremy drove me home after practice and the whole way I thought about his possible upcoming proposal. How was he going to pop the question, or would he? I hoped he would, even if I couldn't necessarily wear the ring on my finger or tell anyone. I loved him and he loved me. Why shouldn't we spend eternity together?