Hey, guys! This is just a simple one-shot. Also, the turtles are 13 years old in this little story. I wrote the poem myself a while ago then thought "Let's put some use to this!" This is the result. Hope you enjoy!

Warning: Contains suicidal thoughts and self-harm.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, in case that wasn't obvious.

Lonely Demon

Silence lingered in the chilly air. Winter had taken over the city of New York. Snow sprinkled from the darkened sky. The white powder created a thin sheet over the empty streets. Families snuggled together before drifting into slumber. All was peaceful and content.

Except one.

Beneath the sleepy city lay a young turtle. His vibrant green eyes stared vacantly at his ceiling. Outside of his door, he could hear his immediate younger brother attempting to coax his youngest sibling to bed. The eldest brother could be heard lightly chuckling at his bo staff wielding brother.

Sighing, Raphael felt a familiar stab of pain pierce his heart. The hotheaded Hamato loved his family more than they would ever understand. But, the love seemed one-sided to Raph. His brothers would purposely seek out each other but never the red-banded terrapin. He would only ever listen to their joy from his cold room.

Raphael was lonely.

Lonely is hard

I look around and see love

I want easy

"But, Donnie!" Mikey's voice wailed. Raph could tell just by the impatient huff of his genius brother that Donatello was anxious to sleep.

"If Leo and I join you tonight, will you please go to bed?" Donnie's tired voice asked. Michelangelo's excited squeal informed the second oldest turtle brother that the answer was yes. A pair a hyper footsteps raced down the hall to Mikey's bedroom. Raphael knew by the slight pause that followed that Leonardo was rolling his eyes and Donnie was pinching the skin between his eyes. Moments later, four feet trudged wearily away.

The short-tempered turtle knew his brothers well. He knew their quirks and pet peeves like the back of his hand. It was agony knowing that his brothers didn't care enough about Raph to know him well. All they knew was his flaws, his anger.

Did they know how much that hurt Raphael?

Lonely is pain

I see unscarred friends

I want relief

Quiet spread through the lair. But it didn't last long. Shining tears began to form in Raph's eyes. Slowly, they trickled down his angled cheeks. He struggled to choke down his heartbreaking cries. Ultimately, he failed.

Raphael sobbed soundlessly. Most of his nights played out this way. Releasing his hurt and sorrow through tears. Secretly, he craved for someone to hear him.

The youthful terrapin desired love more than life itself.

Lonely is silent

I shed tears without sound

I want someone to hear

Unfortunately, Raph lacked any idea of how to communicate with his brothers. He was accustomed to bottling up his emotions and dealing with it through rage. Speaking about his problems was strange and foreign.

Raphael was scared.

Afraid of himself and what his family would say if they knew what he really was. He was slowly withering himself away with his own darkness inside. But he was too fearful to get help.

Lonely is complicated

I only know life as alone

I want a break

Most days, Raphael yearned for death. His family wouldn't miss him. He didn't mean anything to them. It was too late to save him. Raph let his demons consume him. But it wasn't his fault. Raph simply wanted someone to listen to him. Little time was spent until he realized only he would listen to himself.

Wasting away his own darkness, Raphael spiraled deeper and deeper into an inky black hole. He forgot what it meant to be happy. He was drowning in the sea of shadows within.

Lonely is dark

I am one with the shadows

I want light

Warm tears stopped its flow down Raph's face. Shakily, he lifted his pillow. His twin sais lay there, polished and ready.

Before he realized what was happening, Raphael was slicing open his own flesh. Long cuts ran down his forearms. Crimson blood slowly leaked from his self-inflicted wounds.

He never thought it'd get this far. Raph never could have imagined using his prized weapons for this lowly act. And yet, here he was. Staring numbly at the bleeding cuts he gave himself. Raphael just longed for freedom.

Lonely is desperate

I attempt to escape its hold

I want release

Settling back into his bed, Raph knew there was no going back. This monster was what he had become.

It all started when he was lonely.

But lonely is who I am

Part of my demons

I am a demon

That's what the lonely told me