Nate dreams of his son when he was just a baby. The dimple when he smiles on his chubby cheeks; the blue eyes brightening when he laid eyes on his father; and a simply, far-off look in his eye. Nate knows that one day, Sam will take over a company. Just something that Sam has makes him scream CEO. Perhaps that's just Sam's way. That week, Nate almost got caught.
Nate dreams of his son as a toddler. Crawling, walking, then finally, running. On his chubby legs that make it seem like he shouldn't be able to walk, much less run. His hair's grown out in this fluff, his eyes had darkened just slightly; and his voice was so high. Nate knows that Sam will get a good girl someday. Someone who will take care of him and his mother, will help him when's he's sick. That month, Nate was shot at.
Nate dreams of his son at seven years old. When he's sick. The doctors say that it's no big deal. Kids like him always get sick with this kind of thing. And Nate and Maggie believe him. Sam's eyes haven't lost their twinkle (not yet); and his hair is fluffier than it was as a toddler. His voice had become slightly cracked when he talked, but that was okay. He was going to get better. Nate knows that Sam is going to be the greatest lawyer that the world has ever seen. That week, Ian sent Nate away to Switerland, even thought Nate begged to stay home.
Nate dreams of his son as an eight-year-old boy. Being killed slowly by a disease that isn't slowing. The treatment the doctor prescribed isn't working; and Sam is dying. His hair is lanky and isn't as soft anymore; his eyes don't sparkle like they used to (the sparkle is still there); and his voice is gone. Gone except for croaks and groans and shrieks that keep Nate and Maggie up at night. Nate knows that Sam is going to get better. He chants it every day. Sam's going to get better. He knows that Sam will get children; and he'll realize how much he loves them, just like his parents love him. That week, Nate asks for one day off and is denied.
Nate dreams of Sam in the hospital. Doctors are rushing around, trying to help, and Nate's hand is pressed against the glass. This could have been avoided, he thought. If Ian just helped me with the treatment, he wanted to cry. His son's hair is greasy and no longer fluffy, or soft. It's scratchy. Sam's eyes no longer sparkle; his vocie is completly gone expect for gasps. And Nate knows Sam isn't going to be CEO of a company; isn't going to be a lawyer; isn't going to get a wife; isn't going to find out how much a parent really loves their child. God, he knows that Sam isn't going to grow up; that Sam's friends are going to move on because he was only in school for three years. Nate knows his son isn't going to survive this.
Nate dreams of Sam dying. His last, ragged breath drawn out; staring at his father. And Nate dreams of him screaming, crying, thrashing and throwing a fit. Hugging his still-warm son to his chest and sobbing.
Nate quits his job and him and Maggie get a divorce. Nate leaves the town first; becuase he can't stand it. Maggie moves on, she moves on from Sam; doensn't forget him, but also doesn't relive that same moment over and over again. Doesn't know that Ian didn't allow the settlement to get Nate treatment. She doesn't know. And so she moved on, and still loves him but moves on, and Nate...
Nate still dreams.