Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha & all affiliated parties, BUT I do own Sesshomaru.
A/N: This story (one-shot) is in modern time and in Inuyasha's POV, a bit OCC for him.
Those ever so famous words, "If only she knew." I've been saying them ever since I lost her, Kagome. But she doesn't even know that I've felt this way ever since that first day she smiled and said "good-bye" as she flipped back her hair. It keeps me up at night, staring at the ceiling, thinking about everything.
Once I realize that just pondering won't change anything, I pull out my pen and paper and lay out my heart with ink. I stare at the even, blue lines, wondering what shapes and characters could fill up those lines and explain everything to her. But none of them will.
All I know is that she's what I've been searching for. She's my golden ticket to the gate of happiness. Yet these gates remain locked. I'm left in that lonely field of "friendship". Sure, a friendship is an outstanding occurrence. But I want to take it one step further. I want to take her to a place that she's never been. A place only my heart can describe.
One Saturday afternoon, my mind wandered as she sat there talking about "Mr. Perfect". Before I knew it, I saw myself as that person. A smile came over me. She asked what the smile was for. I wanted to tell her it was from the way the wind blows her long, raven hair. I wanted to tell her it was from the way her beautiful doe brown eyes lit up when she smiled. Yet I told her nothing.
Then a month later I got a phone call. I was anticipating it. Every time the phone rang, my stomach dropped as if I just went down the first dip of a roller coaster, hoping it was her. This time, it was. And she needed to talk. She wanted me to stop by. Her boyfriend, Koga, had dumped her.
As I drove to her house, I thought of ways to make her feel better. My ideas were endless; I'd obviously been thinking about this for quite some time. I knew I would treat her like a queen. She smiled at my concern and told me what a true friend I was. "Friend." The word hit me like a ton of bricks.
My frustration returned. Maybe "friends" is all we were ever meant to be? So I jut sat there, silent. I kept my real feelings hidden deep inside, behind that plastic smile I gave her.
Maybe one of these days I will tell her. I will spill everything out to her in a flood of emotion. That day is coming. I've written it out fifty times, what I would tell her, yet I can't remember a damn thing. When the time does come, and I speak from my heart instead of some paper I wrote and memorized, I'll realize that this could possibly be the best thing I have ever done. But I'll never know that feeling, I'll never feel that love, and I'll never love like I did that one night, sitting outside with her, under the porch light, where I began to open the door to my heart.
-Fin-
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