what you seek (is seeking you)
Summary: Five snippets detailing Kai and Jinora's reactions over the years to people being attracted to their daughter. Set in the Anchorverse auception. Belated birthday gift for Kuno-chan.
Disclaimer: The title comes from a quote from Jalaluddin Rumi. I do not own The Legend of Korra, nor do I own the Anchorverse or any of its auceptions—those belong to Bryke, words-with-dragons and Kuno-chan. I'm just playing, with love and respect to those who brought these characters to life.
Sometimes Kai forgets that Nima won't be a baby forever.
He remembers holding her in his arms, his smile holding tight to his lips, and thinking that he'd do just about anything for her if she would ask. He remembers Jinora crying when little Nima had grabbed her finger and held onto it like it was an anchor holding her down to the earth. He remembers Nima learning how to talk, how to walk, how to dance, how to care for her younger siblings. And yet, there are still times that he looks at her and is plainly shocked at how big she's gotten, at how much she's grown.
Kai remembers how on the day Nima was born, Yung had taken a turn to hold her once Jinora had fallen asleep. "Hello, Nima," he'd whispered to his granddaughter. "You're going to be a little heartbreaker, I can tell."
Kai remembers agreeing, remembers looking from Jinora to Nima and thinking gleefully we made that, I'm not broken, I can still bring good into this world. He even remembers coming across Korra's ship in the middle of the Amaterasu Sea two months after Nima's birth and proudly showing off his daughter to the captain, who'd said the same as Yung—albeit not quite as fondly.
All of those years ago, he hadn't thought that one of the hearts that Nima would break would be his own.
1.
After all of these years, Kai still likes porting in Tong Gong best. It doesn't hurt that this is one of their most profitable business areas—everyone wants to buy from the Waterbender no matter the stigma that comes with it—but he's got lots of good memories to associate the town with. It's usually warm, the marketplace sells the best flavored candy in the Four Nations (the coconut ones are especially to die for), and the beach is the perfect place to relax with his family once the day's trading is up.
Although they're twins, Taani and Rama couldn't be more different. Where Rama likes to bounce from place to place and play with everything, Taani is quiet and soft-spoken (when she does speak) and prefers to stay where she's comfortable. Even so, neither of them can resist the beaches of Tong Gong, and Rama quickly enlists his sister's help in building a sand castle. Lefty acts put out when Rama doesn't immediately choose him to help, but he and Yung and Imaru jump into it with enthusiasm when Rama cajoles them.
After splashing around in the ocean with Nima and Jinora (and enjoying a few underwater kisses with his wife), Nima wanders off to play with a few of the local children. She's seven already and likes to dance more than life itself. He ought to buy her a tambourine at the next marketplace they stop in, the one on the ship has been around almost as long as he has and it's starting to lose its jingle, but he wonders where the line is between giving his daughter gifts and spoiling her. He loves her but he doesn't want to cross it.
Jinora elbows him out of his thoughts, and his hand goes to his side almost out of instinct. When his brain catches up with his body and he realizes that he's not under attack, it's all right, he turns to face her. "What's up, Gyatso?"
She snorts, covering her mouth with one hand before brushing a few wayward strands of hair behind her ear. He thinks that she looks beautiful, even though she'll deny it if he says that. "Look at your daughter, Captain," she says, pointing into the distance.
Kai looks where she's pointing and almost has a heart attack. There's Nima, wearing the bathing suit that he bought her for her sixth birthday, and she's talking to a boy. Okay, the boy's Nima's age, and when Kai had been seven…Okay, when he'd been seven, he'd been more preoccupied with finding food and avoiding Gunthra and her fists as much as possible, and girls hadn't topped his priority list until he was twelve or thirteen. Nima's got nothing to worry about with this one.
And yet, watching this spiky-haired boy in orange swim trunks look at his baby girl like she's hung the moon and the stars, Kai feels something hot pool in the pit of his stomach. Something like jealousy, something like anger, something like a cocktail of unidentified emotions that he didn't think he'd be feeling until Nima was much older.
It's harmless, he tells himself. Then he lets himself smile. He may not like it but he has to admit that it's kind of cute.
Then he sees the boy give Nima a flower that he'd picked up off the sand, and he has to laugh when Nima takes it, examines it closely, puts it in her hair and walks away without a word. "Always thought our girl would be a heartbreaker," Kai replies with a grin. "Just didn't think it'd be so soon."
Jinora snickers, but any reply she could have given is silenced by Nima's arrival. "Hi, honey," she says to Nima, who's got the flower tucked behind her ear. It's red and yellow and goes perfectly with her bathing suit, although Kai's pretty sure that the boy hadn't done that on purpose. "Did you have fun with that boy?"
Nima sits down in between her parents, a towel wrapped around her shoulders. "I guess," she says slowly. "Gao gave me a flower and I put it in my hair, do you like it?" Jinora and Kai ooh and ahh over it appropriately and Nima beams before telling her parents about her day and the games she'd played with Gao and the other kids and how she was positive that she'd seen a mermaid in the water…
And Kai? Kai's just happy that Nima's not interested in boys yet, because he has a feeling things will really get weird when that happens.
2.
Jinora remembers being ten. It had been the year that her parents had started treating her like an adult, the year that they'd stopped looking the other way when she snuck sweets from the kitchen, the year that she'd been moved out of the nursery and into her own bedroom far away from her siblings. It had been the year that her father had started to nudge her away from climbing trees and other outdoor sports, telling her that reading was fine but perhaps it was time to seek a more ladylike activity. It had been the year that her mother had forced her to start wearing corsets, saying that it was better to get used to them young. It had been the year that her mother and father started talking to her about the importance of marriage, of suitors, of loving someone to secure a political alliance.
It had all been so different from the books that she'd read. And Raava help her, because she loves her parents, she does, it's just that sometimes she hates them for forcing her into a world that no one should ever be forced into.
Nima's ten now, and her ten is so different from Jinora's ten. Nima's grown up on a ship full of pirates and uncles and had learned to handle a sword before Jinora had bought her her first dress. There are no corsets or arranged marriages or more ladylike activities in her daughter's future (in either of her daughters' futures) and Jinora can't help but be extremely relieved at the thought.
At ten, Jinora had been forced away from fencing and her books into long and boring teas with potential suitors and their families. At ten, Nima just wants to dance and live a carefree life with her family.
Even though she's been raised in a loving (albeit floating) home, life won't be easy for Nima when she gets older. Women end up getting the short end of the stick no matter their upbringing—Nima's young now, but Jinora worries about her daughter encountering men like LingShi Chow, men who view women as objects and cannot take no for an answer. She's already seen men look at her daughter twice when they pass on the sidewalk and knows those looks will continue in number and intensity the older Nima gets.
Far be it from her to slow down time, but sometimes she wishes that Nima would stay young forever.
3.
When the crew had docked in the Bǎoshí Harbor for an evening of relaxation, Kai hadn't imagined that he'd come back onto the ship drenched in blood. Of course, he'd never imagined that he'd find his daughter cornered by a drunk man either, but one of the things he's learned in life is that nothing goes the way you imagine it will.
"Get the hell away from her," he snarls, his sword already halfway out of his scabbard. Nima flinches and his heart goes out to her. His baby girl is only thirteen and yet she's witnessed so much horror in the world already. She knows what this man could do to her, just like she knows what Quil could have done to her that fateful day. "You heard me! Get the hell away from her."
"She's a pretty one," the drunk slurs. "Sh-saw her dancing and I had to get a closer look."
Judging by the scrapes and bruises forming on Nima's knuckles—Qilaq, Kuruk and Meishenme he's so proud of her for not freezing up, for fighting back—she hadn't appreciated this waste of oxygen trying to get a closer look at her. "I don't want to repeat myself," he warns. "Get away from my daughter or I'll make you."
In answer to the order, the drunk staggers forward (not far enough away from Nima for her to escape) and pulls out a dagger. Kai would have laughed at the man's audacity if Nima hadn't been there. "You wanna get her, gotta get through me," he leers, and swings at Kai.
Even if Kai hadn't been training with a sword for most of his life, he would have dodged the dagger easily. The drunken swing had been pathetic, and he'd nearly fallen down halfway through it. Kai's sword comes out of his scabbard reflexively as the drunk comes at him again, now with a dagger and a clenched fist.
Fine, he thinks, two can play at this game, and he slices through the drunk's arm like it's made of butter.
The drunk howls in pain, tucking the bloody stump of his hand into the crook of his elbow, and the music from the other room halts. Nima inhales sharply when she gets a glimpse of the man's hand still clutching the dagger in a bloody puddle on the floor. "See if you lay a hand on any other girls now," he snarls at the drunk. "I won't repeat myself. Get out."
This time the drunk falls over his own two feet on his way to the exit, still moaning about the pain. Kai would chase after him to make sure he leaves the bar (and preferably the town), but his daughter is always more important. "Neems?" His voice is soft and he moves closer to her slowly. "Nima, honey…"
"He cornered me when I was coming back from the bathroom," Nima whispers hoarsely. "Said a pretty girl like me shouldn't be out by myself."
Kai wishes he'd done more than cut the drunk's hand off now. "Oh, Nima…"
"I fought, Dad, I tried to fight him but he was bigger than me." She gulps down lungfuls of air. "Dad…"
"I know, babygirl, I know. I'm so sorry." And he is, he truly is. He never should have let her dance, never should have exposed her to the type of environment where men drool over women and demand affections for nothing. Ever since Quil had nearly—he can't even think about it without the red mist descending. If that snake hadn't slithered away during the commotion, Kai would have slaughtered him. "I'm so sorry."
He holds Nima in his arms tightly, and if his heart breaks a little when he hears her try not to cry, no one needs to know.
4.
To this day, Jinora is thankful that she'd spotted the poster before Taani and Rama had.
They'd been shopping in the Port Bosco marketplace while Kai and the rest of the crew traded and Nima had gone off somewhere (within her father's eyesight) to dance. While Rama and Taani (mostly Rama) had poked around the toy shops, Jinora had been looking for a new chain for her anchor pendant. As much as she loves it, the clasp doesn't work as well anymore and she'd thought it was time to buy a new one, and maybe she could surprise Kai with a new one too. Then, just as she'd been about to pay, she'd seen it.
The parchment is cheap and yellowing at the corners, but the sketch is clear as day. Emblazoned on the front of it is her daughter, hair waving in the wind, sultry smile painted on her lips. She's been drawn as a seductress, with her flowing skirts and bare shoulders and tambourine jangling. Written in a scrawling script on the bottom is The Wave Dancer, sometimes seen in these parts. Try to catch her if you can, gentlemen, she's single and a virgin and her shows are most certainly worth your while.
The words make Jinora's blood boil more than anything. How dare they do this to Nima. How dare they describe her like an object or an animal, like her baby girl is something to be sought after and hunted for sport. And the last sentence—single and a virgin—like the artist is a used-Satomobile salesman, like he owns Nima. Who had given these people the right to lust after her daughter and draw her up like a prostitute?
She'd been stupid enough to think that after Kai had nearly killed that man Chano in a Gold Coast bar that these posters would cease to exist, but apparently not. She hates the fact that she isn't surprised more than anything, and she rips it down from the post that it's stapled to.
"Excuse me?" Her voice is razor sharp, and it causes the shopkeeper—an Earth Kingdom man around Lefty's age—to turn around at once. "Who drew this?"
The shopkeeper turns beet red at the sight—not with embarrassment, Jinora notes, but with anger. That causes her own anger to dissipate a little. "That'd be Sutoka and his crew, ma'am. They tend to lounge around in bars where girls like this one here perform; they get off on it and draw posters to attract their friends." He pauses and takes a good look at her, eyes narrowing. "Do you know this girl, ma'am?"
Jinora's embarrassed at how her throat tightens. Thank Raava that Rama and Taani have moved away from the little shop and are playing by the fountain—she doesn't want them to hear this conversation. "She's my daughter."
The shopkeeper lets out a little sigh and reaches across the counter to pat Jinora on the hand. "If it helps," he says, "I know for a fact that Sutoka and his crew are going to be at the local pub tonight—no one's performing so there's no need for them to go to Luoxi's." Good. That's where Nima usually dances. She doesn't want that place to be tarnished. "I'd be more than happy to round up a few of my friends and give them a talking-to."
Jinora shakes her head after considering his offer for a second. "No thank you, sir," she says. "This is something my husband and I will do myself."
By the end of the evening, Kai and Jinora manage to convince Sutoka and his crew to longer draw up, publish or even think about posters that depict Nima. No blood had needed to be shed, which both relieves and disappoints Jinora. She had wanted to give those bastards more than just a piece of her mind.
5.
After everything that's happened in the last few months (namely his fight with Nima, Nima dying and coming back to life, and their quest to unite Kinguyakki's treasure) Kai is rightfully on edge during the crew's music night. Everyone's having a good time, sure—Appa's playing drums as always, Bansi's playing the flute with the skill of a professional musician, Tyyo's playing the tsungi horn, Taani and Rama play cards with Lefty and Yung, and the rest of the crew is alternating between dancing and experimenting with the string instruments. Jinora sits next to him, drinking beer and laughing at Momo and Pabu's dance moves, but Kai can't relax. Not when that boy is with Nima.
Danuma, the ex-bounty hunter who'd had a part to play (albeit a tiny one) in Nima's death, hadn't left once Tianmei had been defeated and Nima had come back for good. He'd stayed for Nima, as the two of them had formed a bond over the last few months, and Kai isn't pleased about it. For Raava's sake, he and Nima are nothing alike. He's stony and stoic and has the emotional range of a statue, whereas Nima…
Well, Nima feels everything and loves with the pressure of the tides and is sarcastic and flighty and moves and dances and is just so…alive. She's so alive. And he's never taking that part of her personality for granted again.
Either or, he'd never expected her to fall for a statue.
"I can hear you thinking, Kai," Jinora says, and her voice brings him out of his trance like always. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, Gyatso, nothing." Jinora just raises an eyebrow. He relents because she's his wife and she knows him well enough to know when he's bullshitting. "I just can't—I don't like seeing Nima and Danuma together."
"I'm sure any father can relate to what you're feeling," she answers. Then she smirks. "I'm sure Yung was very pleased with the idea of you and whoever your first girlfriend was."
Spirits help him but Kai can't even remember his first girlfriend, it'd been so long ago. He remembers a swirl of one night stands and quick kisses in the harbor before Jinora had come into his world, and then it had all changed for the better. "Still," he says petulantly. "It's—I can't explain it. I trust him, sure—why wouldn't I when he found Nima?—but something about him and her together…"
"Hey." She takes his hand in hers. "I get it, Captain, I do. But look at them. I think Dan would sooner pitch himself off the ship before he would intentionally hurt Nima."
Reluctantly, Kai looks over at Nima and Danuma. She's attempting to get him to dance and he's not very receptive, but…he is talking to her. In fact, the only time his face changes is when he looks at her, and that's saying something when said person is an apathetic ex-bounty hunter. He never talks down to her. He smiles at her like she's the only light in the world, and Kai thinks that he'd hang the moon and the stars up for her if she'd ask. It's a vast improvement from the other men that Kai has seen lust over his daughter—Danuma likes her, and she likes him.
Fine, he thinks, a small smile gracing his lips. Fine.
That doesn't mean he has to like it.