(/Just a short little one-shot for Hidan's birthday, because why not-? The guy needs more love anyways- Also there's a small bit of KakuHida fluff at the end, so if you don't like, then might not want to read- Anyhoo, hope you enjoy!)
Torrents of rain pelted the side of the Akatsuki base as thunder rolled overhead, occasional lightning flashes lighting the sky and casting harsh shadows across the walls of the base. The spring rain was always hellish, and even worse in Amegakure compared to the other villages. They would have been in their Konoha base, but Leaf ninja had been traveling dangerously close, so it was quickly evacuated and hidden under a clever genjutsu that would take a very skilled shinobi to notice. Plus no one really fancied going to the Suna base, so that left the Ame base [which looking back on, many of the members were thinking perhaps Suna would have been better].
The drainage sewers were filled to the brim, pouring water with deadly currents out of the village and flooding the surrounding areas more than they usually are.
But the gloomy weather aside, it was a day of celebration on that April morning, the second to be exact. It was a birthday.
Personally, Hidan didn't think much of birthdays, and his plans for the day had been to simply sleep in and spend the day in his room. After all, prayers were out of the question with the current conditions. Blood would be rinsed away in an instant, and there were no dry places in the entirety of River Country at this time of year. Everything was under a mass flood that would take days, possibly weeks to drain away. No one was permitted to go outside.
But this was the Akatsuki, and of course there couldn't be just a simple, peaceful day, especially on birthdays. A certain hyperactive ninja with the mindset of a child would never permit a birthday to go un-celebrated.
Around 9 AM that morning, the door to the Zombie Brothers' room was thrown open, and the oh-so famous masked nin stood in the doorway, chipper as ever, yelling, "Good morning Hidan-san!"
The priest in question didn't stir, though the Taki nin on the other side of the room jumped slightly in alarm and whipped his head around to glare at Tobi for startling him out of his world of numbers.
After not getting the desired reaction, Tobi approached the sleeping man's bed and called out to him again, but it was in vain as the Yu nin slept like he was dead.
Slightly irked that he was still sleeping through his loud greetings, Tobi decided to try pulling the blanket from him. Hidan merely groaned and put the pillow over his head sluggishly.
So Tobi being, well, Tobi, took that as an invitation to jump on him.
The silver haired man finally reacted to that and shot the other a deadly glare from under the pillow. "Get... Off of me... You moron..."
The masked shinobi complied and quickly stood up. "Morning Hidan-san! You know what today is, don't you?"
"It's about to be your funeral.." Hidan growled grumpily, sitting up and stretching. "Now the fuck do you want..?"
"Silly, it's your birthday! We're going to celebrate today!" Tobi replied, rocking onto his toes happily.
Now, Hidan has seen how other Akatsuki members' birthdays are celebrated, and he instantly had a feeling today was going to be a bad day. The only sensible people when it came to birthday's were Itachi and Kisame, since they were by far the most sane out of the group.
"Do we have to..?" The zealot asked weakly, inwardly fearing the answer.
"Of course! I already have things set up! Don't worry Hidan-san, I'm positive you'll like it."
Somehow Hidan doubted that. "Uh, right... How long does this 'celebrating' shit go on for again..?"
"All day, starting now! Now come on out to the kitchen!" Tobi said in an encouraging tone, turning on his heel and practically skipping out of the room.
Once he was out of earshot, Hidan slowly turned to Kakuzu and asked cautiously, "On a scale of 1 to 10... How scared should I be..?"
The miser looked thoughtful for a moment, before replying, "Hm.. I'd say a 20."
Hidan shuddered. There wasn't many things that could scare him, but Tobi's birthday party? That was a terrifying thought.
He didn't bother to slick back his hair like he usually did before daring to leave the bedroom; something told him by the time the day was over, he'd simply want to collapse in bed and pray next year never came.
The instant he stepped out of the hall containing the bedroom's into the main space that made up the living room and kitchen, something in his brain forced him to stop and attempt to register in his sleep fogged mind what disaster had struck the base.
Streamers and balloons were scattered across the rooms, covering most of the furniture and walls. The decorations themselves he could deal with, but the color? No.
"Do you like it Hidan-san? I did it all myself." Tobi asked, bouncing over to him.
Without looking at him, Hidan uttered the only word he could think to say. "Pink..?" It was his least favorite color, along with yellow and literally every other happy color in the world. He liked black and red mainly, and darker shades of some of the more neutral colors like blue, green, and violet. But pink..?
Tobi nodded enthusiastically. "Yep! It was the closest color I could find to match your pretty eyes." If it weren't Tobi saying that, he would swear he was just being hit on.
"My eyes aren't pink, shithead..! They're magenta..!"
Tobi laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry, I thought you'd like it. I won't pick pink next year, I promise."
Hidan felt a shiver run down his spine at those words. The horror...
Tobi then lead him into the kitchen and presented the cake that he'd apparently made himself, and it honestly didn't look bad. It was probably going to be the best part of the day actually. Tobi's singular useful skill was baking, which Hidan had found out by stealing cookies that the masked nin made, and he either didn't care or was simply too stupid to realize his sweets disappeared far faster than it should. [Hidan was convinced Itachi stole from the cookie jar frequently as well, though he hadn't caught the Uchiha in the act yet]
Hidan slumped into one of the chairs at the kitchen table and rested his head on his arms, looking genuinely ready to die as Tobi ran off to do something or other.
After several minutes, the resident terrorist walked into the room, looking incredibly amused. "Looking forward to the party Hidan, hmm?"
"Fuck off Dei-chan... This isn't funny, seriously... I'm gonna die..."
"I wish I could say I feel sorry for you... But I don't."
"Fuck you..."
Eventually Tobi returned to the kitchen with the other Akatsuki members in tow, though Kakuzu wasn't to be seen. Tobi then proceeded to sing happy birthday [Hidan banged his head against the table during the entirety of the song], and then urged the others to present their gifts. They were as followed: dango vouchers from Itachi [Hidan loved sweets, so this was appreciated], weapon polish from Kisame [his scythe was his most prized possession, so again it was quite needed], a paper flower bouquet from Konan [she gifted this to everyone for their birthdays], Pein was holed up in his office and made no appearance [which his lack of presence from the Leader was a gift in itself to Hidan], a self published book on plants from Zetsu [apparently he wrote gardening books in his free time], the cake and party itself from Tobi [he didn't believe in bought gifts, and Deidara and Sasori had banned him from the arts and crafts room, so a homemade gift was out of the question as well], cookies from Sasori [Hidan made a mental note to throw them out later, as any edible given by the puppet master was without a doubt poisoned], and Deidara, well...
"Here, open mine, un!" Deidara said excitedly, holding out a box with a wide Cheshire grin.
Hidan cautiously accepted it, frowning at the weight. "Um.. Why don't you give this to Tobi for me?"
Deidara looked slightly down at that for a moment, though quickly perked up again and nodded. Tobi seemed to pick up on the blonde's intentions and immediately bolted from the room, Deidara hard on his heels.
The zealot took the distraction and Tobi's absence as an opportunity to slip from the room and back to his own, closing and locking the door behind him.
Kakuzu glanced up from his desk at him and raised an eyebrow. "How bad was it?"
"Not as bad as you made it sound, but still annoying. Why didn't you show up?"
"I figured you'd find an excuse to come back here. I must say, I'm impressed you managed it so quickly."
Hidan laughed slightly. "Had Dei-chan chase Tobi with a bomb. He has his uses, you know? And none of the others bothered to try and stop me."
"Hm.. What are you going to do now?"
"Sleep." Hidan replied as if it were obvious. "It's what I wanted to do today in the first place."
"Of course.. Go ahead; I doubt Tobi will feel up to messing with you once Deidara's done blowing him up."
Hidan nodded his agreement and collapsed on his bed, curling up under the blankets. Only a few moments later, he reopened his eyes in surprise when he felt another weight on the bed to see Kakuzu had laid down next to him. The older nin wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. Hidan relaxed and smiled faintly, burying his face against Kakuzu's chest. "Thanks..."
Kakuzu simply made a sound of acknowledgement, resting his chin on the other's head.
"You know, this is how I want to spend every birthday.." Hidan said tiredly.
The Taki nin smiled faintly. "That'd be fine with me.."
Hidan peacefully fell asleep shortly after that despite the cracks of thunder overhead and the rain beating against the building. Kakuzu gently brushed a few loose strands of hair out of the Yu nin's face, quietly murmuring, "Happy birthday Hidan.."