Farquad: well fiona, either you marry me or the ogre
(fiona runs off)
Farquad (to shrek): there's your answer
(enter all fairytale creatures chasing fiona)
Farquad: get out you wedding crashers
Pinocchio: we're taking your abuse for the last time farquad
Godmother: Kicking us out because we're freaks
Elf: well guess what, we're all freaks and that includes you
Farquad: OOOOOO, you shouldn't have said that midget
Elf: I am not a midget, im an elf
Farquad: gaurds, get the elf
Pinocchio (scared): what? NO!
(Gaurds grab her and pinocchio chases after the gaurds)
Pinocchio: stop it! she's an elf and not only that, she's intelligent, bright, funny and beautiful
Elf: Pinocchio?
Farquad (laughing): ok now this is more precious, a puppet in love with an elf (to gaurds) let her go, this oughta be good
(Gaurds fling her forward)
Pinocchio: Lee, i need to tell you something, I...
Lee (looking away): i know what your going to say, you like me only as a friend
Pinocchio: No, i actually love you
Lee: Well i don't believe it
(WAlks toward alter and cries)
Pinocchio (singing nervously): can...you feel...the love...tonight (lee stops and looks at him) It is where we are...its enough for this wide eyed wanderer, that we've come this far
Lee (drying her eyes and walking towards Pinocchio): and can you feel the love tonight, how its lead to rest, its enough to make kings and vagabonds
Pinocchio and Lee (taking hands and sing): believe the very best. This is what I dreamed. Finally it's real. I knew what I would look like, but I never thought how I might feel. And there's more more more to the story. What you so clearly see Isn't' always so
Pinocchio (Spoken): and i can go with you, as far as you can go.
Lee: PInocchio, I love you
Pinocchio: and i truly honestly love you. and i want you in my life
Lee (choked up): are you asking me what i think you're asking?
(Enter lee's dad, lucky the leprechaun)
LUcky: Yes lee, yes he is
Pinocchio: your dad is the lucky charms cereal mascot?
Lee: YEs
(Pinocchio approaches towards him)
Pinocchio: Sir, i love your daughter. and i can care for her. And so with your permission, and your blessing (walks towards lee and gets on his knee) I'd like to make her my bride
Lucky: Consent accepted
(Lee and pinocchio smile at ach other. Pinocchio takes lee's hand)
PInocchio: Lee, will you make me so happy by marrying me?
Lee (Laughing): I think you know my answer
(The two walk towards the alter. Godmother approaches them and waves her wand. shrek comes forward and presents them with wooden rings)
Lee: I lee take thee pinocchio for my husband. come health, happiness, and prosperity, I will stand with you; come illness, trouble, or poverty, I will stand with you. with this wooden ring, i be wed
(Slips it on pinocchio's finger)
(Enter pinocchio's dad)
Gepetto: Pinocchio! you're getting married?
Pinocchio: Yeah, is that a problem?
Gepetto: no not at all, i just came to farquads wedding but since he's a jerk, i guess i'm in time to see you do your vow
(Pinocchio smiles and faces lee)
Pinocchio: I pinocchio, take thee Lee as my bride. come health, happiness, and prosperity, I will stand with you; come illness, trouble, or poverty, I will stand with you. with this wooden ring, i be wed
(Slips it on lee's finger)
(PInocchio and lee take each others hands)
GINGY: HEY THE PRIEST ISNT THE ONLY ONE WITH A MARITAL DEGREE!
(All look at gingy)
All creatures: your a priest?
Gingy: yes i am
(approaches pinocchio and lee)
Gingy: If anyone thinks this couple shouldnt be together, speak now or forever hold your peace
(All is silent)
Gingy: well that was easy, do you pinocchio take lee?
Pinocchio: yes
Gingy: and do you lee take pinocchio?
Lee: Yes
Gingy: well then, in the name of sweetness and the heavenly father, i pronounce this couple man and wife
(Pinocchio and lee look at each other with tears in their eyes)
Gingy: Well dont just stand there, kiss her!
(They laugh. Pinocchio takes lee into his arms and kisses her. and as their eyes close, pinocchio pops his leg up)
Pinocchio: you have know how happy you made me
Lee: I think i do
(Enter through window, dragon and donkey. exit farquad running and screaming like a little girl)
Donkey: what'd i miss?
Fiona: Nothin much. just the marriage of me and shrek
Lee: and me and pinocchio
Donkey: I always knew this was going to be a happy ending
[FIONA]
I waited all my life
Lived it by the book
Now I know that's not my story
You take me as I am
Love me as I look
Standing here in all my glory
I am sweetness
I am bratty
I'm a princess
I'm a fatty
I'm a mess of contradictions in a dress
I am sassy
I am sappy
When I'm with you, I am happy
This is my story
[SHREK]
You laugh at all my jokes
Even though they're crude
You don't mind that I'm not classy
[SHREK & FIONA]
We make a perfect pair
Radiant and rude
So in love and much too gassy
We are ogres
We are scary
[SHREK, FIONA, & DONKEY]
We are donkeys
We are hairy
We have bold and brand new stories to be told
We will write them
We will tell them
You will hear them
You will smell them
This is our story
[Spoken by Shrek]
...And that is how the little ogre came to live on the swamp with a beautiful princess-
[Donkey butts in]
AND his best friend!
[Shrek correcting himself]
AND his best friend!
[Fairytale Creatures joining in]
And a gingerbread man!
And a very handsome puppet!
And an elf!
And a fairy godmother!
And a witch!
And a cross-dressin' wolf!
And the three pigs!
[Sung by all]
What makes us special
(What makes us special)
What makes us special
(What makes us special)
What make us special makes us strong!
We are witches
We are fairies
We are weirdos
[Shouted by Pinocchio]
I'm AN AIRES!
[All Singing]
We're a giant Whitman's sampler here to try
We are puppets
We are rabbits
We are hobbits with bad habits
We're a screwy but reliant crazy stew
We are different and united
You are us and we are you
This is our story
This is our story
This is our story
[Gingy shouting]
GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!
[Sung by all]
THEEEEEEE EEEEENNND!