Okay, people! This is an AU fic! It's NaruSasu. They're in high school, somewhere. And it isn't shounen ai. Confused you yet? Good!
Disclaimer: Naruto not mine. Nope. But I do have a pointy stick in which to impale lawyers that cross me.
Why, goddammit? Why! Haven't I suffered enough already? Do I deserve even more?" Naruto yelled, beating his hands against the school walls, setting sun finally ceasing to burn his eyes, "Do I really deserve your bloody pity? Why can't you just leave?"
"…" The raven haired girl said nothing. Just like she always did. She would, he knew, let him vent his fury until he would drop to the ground and sob.
He did so. His hands stung, torn and bloodied.
Then she would go to him. (As always) She, as Naruto's only real friend, (If you could even call it that) was beginning to accept or adapt to his violent mood swings.
They didn't happen often
He knew though, when they did, she was scared.
After the first time, when they met, he realized that the bag she now carried was full of not only school supplies, but medical supplies as well.
They were for both of them.
When Naruto lost control, he tried to be alone; that way he hurt no one.
She always found him.
Always.
She stayed. (As always). Silent. (As always.)
Naruto likes her silent refusal to leave him.
He also hated it.
How she could see right through his mask. How she would never tell him it would all be okay. How she never comforted him when he lost control. How the only thing she would do when he raged was stare at him. How when he hit her, which wasn't often, the only thing she would do was look at him and wipe the blood from her pale skin, onyx eyes boring into his very soul. How her eyes promised nothing but the simple fact that she wouldn't leave, no matter what he did. How she refused to be scared. How she never blocked his blows.
He hates these things. He hated them more whenever he realized that he loved them as well.
"Are you even gonna say anything?"
He knew she wouldn't; she never did.
She knelt beside him (As always) and brushed golden locks away from his face.
She always did this.
And Naruto knew that she would bandage his hands now. And she would say nothing. It was routine.
Routine…
A dark haired girl with night-black eyes. A boy with hair as bright as the sun and eyes the clear blue of a cloudless sky.
A boy who hated himself.
She had, this girl, broken his routine. She had destroyed and remade it to include her. Selfishly.
Or not. He knew that she was trying to help. She was helping.
She was melting down the layers of ice and other things that surrounded his heart, just by being there. (Or the sections of his brain that controlled emotion and pleasure. Same thing, to him.)
He was brought sharply out of these thoughts by a break in this new routine. His face stung; he wasn't sure why for a moment.
"You… you slapped me," He said disbelievingly. She nodded, as if saying to him, 'Don't state the obvious, moron,' But she didn't say it.
She never did. She never spoke. To anyone.
Naruto knew her name. Not much else.
Her likes? He was unsure. Dislikes? Many things, but if you asked for individual items, he could not tell you.
He didn't even know how old she was, or who she lived with, or where she lived at all.
Why doesn't she speak?
Why does she stay by his side?
Why did she pick him in the first place?
Why is she the way she is?
He didn't know.
She has a boy's name. He doesn't know why.
She hurt herself. He doesn't know why. But he has a good idea.
Her scars match his. And they are old. Very old. There won't be any more.
He can see the scars because he knows where to look. Others cannot spot them.
He hurts himself because the world is too much. Because he has no parents. Because he didn't know his parents during the short hours that he had them.
His mother's death was his fault.
Others denied it, but he knew it was his fault. She died bearing him.
His father? Well, that was interesting.
He died in an accident on his way to the hospital.
Some drunken idiot hit him head on. He never had a chance.
Naruto knows that her parents are dead as well.
He doesn't know how.
It was strange. No one liked to talk about her family. She certainly didn't.
She had been popular. Still was, really. She was pretty. She had good grades. That was it. She was indifferent to those that asked her out. Or anyone else, for that matter. Teachers stopped calling on her; they realized she wouldn't respond if it wasn't a written answer. She didn't fit in anymore. She was too different.
He had never fit in, and he had realized that and stopped trying. Naruto knew he couldn't fit in. The only social tie he had had was Gaara, who was slightly popular due to his rich father. His rich, abusive father. But Gaara had moved away. His sister Temari had stayed here, to be with her boyfriend. It didn't matter that Temari had remained; Gaara had been the one to snap him out of his depression.
Of course, she did that now.
She was different from his red (literally, and it wasn't a dye job) haired friend. Gaara (always) wore dark colors, usually black, dark brown, or deep jade. He (always) wore short sleeved, tight fitting shirts with fishnet over it, ending at his biceps. She (always) wore dark blue or black long-sleeved shirts with slightly larger-than-normal collars. He (always) wore black pants that looked almost like jeans, but were soft to the touch, and fit him perfectly. She (always) wore light jeans that were much too baggy, sometimes with chains in the belt loops in the winter. She (always) wore khaki shorts in warmer weather. He (always) carried his belongings in a book bag that looked obscenely similar to a large, hourglass-styled gourd. She (always) wore a black messenger bag with an embroidered design that Naruto had watched her stitch. (The design was cool; a red and white fan, ceremonial style) Gaara had (always) worn black or grey trench coats. She (always) wore crimson hoodies.
Both of them (always) contradicted him, style-wise.
Naruto wore faded jeans with holes in the knees (always). He liked to wear orange tees (always). His bag was (always) red. She had sewn a black spiral on the front pocket, (Without asking him. But he knew she wouldn't have. He didn't mind it being there,) and his coats were (always) blue. Not dark blue or light blue. Just ordinary blue.
He missed Gaara sometimes, the creepy, panda eyed midget that he was, but he was happy. Selfishly happy. Because when Gaara went away, she came.
She (always) pissed him off.
He was (always) afraid that he loved her.
She wasn't perfect. Hell, she wasn't even normal. But she… she was his.
It was selfish, he knew. Someone cannot own another human being. (Some may argue, but in the end, this is true.) She was different. She smiled at him. Not often, but she did. She didn't smile when others were around. Only when she was alone with him. She never smiled in any other situation. Ever. She (always) made him feel important.
(always) (always) (always) (always) (always)
She would stay with him. Always.
She would (always) be with him when everything became too much. She would (always) be there when he raged and screamed and hit her. She would (always) stay as he threw things, like vases, and dishes, and parts of his soul. She would (always) be there, with tape and glue, and she would (always) collect the remains and fix them up. Even his soul. And she would (always) say nothing.
"You're… you're bleeding,"
She wiped the blood away, (as always) and she licked her split lip. She said nothing.
"I'm s-sorry. Did I hurt you?" Naruto fumbled for words. He barely recalled what had happened. He didn't recall hurting her. He felt sorrow. As always.
She shook her head; she had had worse.
"D'you… think I should get help? For… this?"
She said nothing. But she nodded.
"I-I just don't know anymore," She smiled sadly, and he continued, "I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry."
She continued to smile in that strange, eerily beautiful way of hers.
"Will… will you ever talk to me?"
She looked unsure. Very much so. She nodded.
"Do you… I mean, I've wanted to ask you this, but… Do you stay with me because you… because you love me?" He paused and added, "Because… that would make me happy."
She nodded. She hugged him tightly to her, and she cried. Silently. Naruto hugged her back to him.
"I- that's good. Thank you, thank you so much for being there, and for loving me, and for- for everything. I think… I think I love you too. I think I love you, Sasuke."
She said nothing. But it was enough.
Well. That was weird. I don't even know what to say, besides, well, sorry about the Sasuke being a girl. And about how I didn't actually tell you it was Sasuke until the very end. I'm sure you knew, but it could've been Itachi. Maybe. Unless you read the beginning bit and knew it was NaruSasu.
Sasuke's silence: Has to do with how her (ooh, that feels so weird) family died. It's not exactly the same as in the actual series. I'm thinking Itachi killed them with a butcher knife. Yeah. Or maybe it was all a freak accident and she blames herself for being the only one to survive it. Or maybe Itachi killed them all with a bomb. Or maybe I'm going too far with this.
A ninja must look underneath the underneath. And then they must look underneath the underneath of what they find underneath the underneath.
And underneath the underneath of the under-underneath is the review button. I wonder what that means.