"Downtown"
Starring:
-Jerry Flynn as "Mr. Flynn"
-Juventud Guerrera as "The Juice"
-a bunch of other guys who are there to look pretty and not much else.
*************
"FINALLY THE JUICE HAS COME BACK TO............uh, Finland? FINLAND!"
Mr. Flynn let out a hearty laugh while the rest of his worshippers in the WCW locker room looked at the monitor and laughed. In the ring, doing his "best" Duane Johnson* impression, was former Cruiserweight champion, Juventud Guerrera or THE JUICE as he now preferred to be called. Mr. Flynn looked on thoughtfully as Juvi sat at the broadcast table and started talking about some nonsense no one could understand.
"Silly, Juvi.", Mr. Flynn thought. "I remember a time before he lost his colorful luchador mask, a time before he developed an unmatchable ego. Yes, it was when the two of us were just starting out in this toliet bowl. Ah, those were the days........."
The scene blurs up as we take a trip back to the summer of 1998. A brand new 1998 Jaguar speeding down a highway in excess of 100 mph comes into view. In the drivers seat is Juvi. The passanger seat has Mr. Flynn in it, surrounded by young, yet legal, virgins admiring his killer buzzcut. Mr. Flynn pulled himself away from his fans briefly to speak.
"Juice, what say we hit the nearest lounge and/or sleezy bar? I think these young fans of mine, and this old, liver spot covered, fan of yours deserve some nice, cool beverages for putting up with us rebels."
"Aie, agreed Senor Flynn.", Juvi said. "How 'bout this place coming up?"
"Let me see.........", Mr. Flynn squinted his eyes to get a few of the approaching building. "The....Blue.....Oyster? Good enough, amigo. Let us be on our way."
The car pulled into a parking spot near the bar. Many Harley Davidson motorcycles were in the lot, but the dangerous duo thought nothing of it. Good ol' JF helped his hlaf-dozen virgin fans out of the car while Juvi got the wheel chair for grandma.
"Hmmmmm......", Mr. Flynn pondered. "Must be a popular biker hangout. No matter. If they try anything funny, I will dispose of them accordingly."
Inside the bar:
Loud, happy dancing music with a quick beat played over the jukebox and there didn't seem to be any women around. Juvi wheeled grandma into the nearest bathroom stall and let her do her buisness. Jerry and Juvi sat at the bar and ordered a few drinks for the ladies.
"Mr. Flynn, why do you hang out with this masked freak?", asked one of his fans, sitting on his lap. "He isn't nearly as talented, charismatic, and good looking as you."
"Now, now, young virganal slag. It's not Juvi's fault. Nobody really is as talented and handsome as I am. Heck, those bikers over there with chains and earings that are dancing with each other are even learing at me. No one can resist my charms............"
Meanwhile, a biker had come over to the seat next to Juvi and put an arm around him. Juvi looked uneasy, but shrugged it off.
"You are two fine lookin young lads, yes you are.", One of the bikers said. "How about we dance?"
"Don't mind if we do." Mr. Flynn got up and walked to the dance floor. "C'mon, Juice. Let's kick it!"
The duo stood on the floor with the bikers and waited for the jukebox to kick in again. It paused, then the familar tunes of YMCA blared over the speakers. Everyone began dancing as a biker pulled Juvi close to him. Flynn looked over and shruged. Suddenly, the wheels began turning in his head....
"Wait a minute", he thought. "No women, bikers with two earings, one guy has taken a liking to Juvi, grandma in the bathroom, YMCA playing, this guy to my right is rubbing my hair............"
"OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WE'RE IN A HOMOSEXUAL BIKER BAR!!!!!!"
Mr. Flynn grabbed the hair moletser's arm and flipped him over his shoulder and into the bar. He grabbed Juvi away from his new friend and calmly explained to him the situation.
"Juvi, we've got to get out of here! We've stumbled into one of nature's true oddities, a gay bar. Quick, let's slowly back our way to the door and get out of here!"
"What about the chicas?"
"Forget them. They'll be safe. This IS a gay bar, 'natch."
The duo began backing themselves up towards the door as the bikers attended to their fallen boyfriend. They made it to the door and turned to get out when they walked right into a rather large, tubby man. It was "Bubba", the bar owner.
"What going on here? Who these two yuppies that be trashing my bar?"
"I am the JUICE and this is my friend, Jerry. Don't mess with us, Jerry is a master of 348 different martial arts. Right Jerry? Jerry? JERRY?!?!"
Mr. Flynn had snuck past Bubba and was heading for the hills.
"JERRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!", Juvi screamed as the bikers pulled him back into the bar and locked the door.
"Sorry, Juice.", Mr. Flynn said. "Better you then me. Don't worry, I'll pick you up tomorrow."
Mr. Flynn hopped into his car and started up when suddenly he heard the clicking of guns and saw he was surrounded by the local PD.
"Freeze right there, buddy.", One of the officers said. "We got a call about two guys causing some comotion in the bar. You fit the description of the handsome man with the cool clothes and awesome haircut. So where's your masked buddy?"
"Uh, he's a little busy right now. I think he's still inside."
"Alright, Richard go get him and tell Bubba I said hi."
A few mintues later, the officer returned with Juvi in tow. Juvi looked a little worse for wear, but was loaded into the back of the squad car with Mr. Flynn anyway.
"Thanks for leavin' me back there, amigo. Your're a friend. Really, you are."
"It's okay.", Flynn replied. "I knew you could handle it."
"Say, you two look familar.", the driver said. "Aren't you rasslers or something?"
"Yes I am Mr. Flynn and this is my asscoiate The Juice. We wrestler for that up and coming wrestling orginization WCW."
"That where I've seen you two before! The boys at the bar always have that show on the TV when I'm in there. They're always saying how they would like to run their fingers thru Jerry Flynn's hair or something."
Mr. Flynn and Juvi looked at each other as the car sped off.
"Don't worry, you boys will be fine. You'll be out in a few hours. We know how those boys can get rowdy. A little rough too."
The next morning:
Newspapers, TV stations, and internet sites were all reporting this story. When Mr. Flynn was asked about it, he claimed it was blown out of proportion. Just a few guys getting into a good old fashioned bar fight.
When asked about where he got the new ear peircings from, Juvi declined to comment.
~end.
* due to World Wrestling Federation Entertainment lawers, we are not allowed to refer to Mr. Johnson by his "other" persona in a WCW related story.
Starring:
-Jerry Flynn as "Mr. Flynn"
-Juventud Guerrera as "The Juice"
-a bunch of other guys who are there to look pretty and not much else.
*************
"FINALLY THE JUICE HAS COME BACK TO............uh, Finland? FINLAND!"
Mr. Flynn let out a hearty laugh while the rest of his worshippers in the WCW locker room looked at the monitor and laughed. In the ring, doing his "best" Duane Johnson* impression, was former Cruiserweight champion, Juventud Guerrera or THE JUICE as he now preferred to be called. Mr. Flynn looked on thoughtfully as Juvi sat at the broadcast table and started talking about some nonsense no one could understand.
"Silly, Juvi.", Mr. Flynn thought. "I remember a time before he lost his colorful luchador mask, a time before he developed an unmatchable ego. Yes, it was when the two of us were just starting out in this toliet bowl. Ah, those were the days........."
The scene blurs up as we take a trip back to the summer of 1998. A brand new 1998 Jaguar speeding down a highway in excess of 100 mph comes into view. In the drivers seat is Juvi. The passanger seat has Mr. Flynn in it, surrounded by young, yet legal, virgins admiring his killer buzzcut. Mr. Flynn pulled himself away from his fans briefly to speak.
"Juice, what say we hit the nearest lounge and/or sleezy bar? I think these young fans of mine, and this old, liver spot covered, fan of yours deserve some nice, cool beverages for putting up with us rebels."
"Aie, agreed Senor Flynn.", Juvi said. "How 'bout this place coming up?"
"Let me see.........", Mr. Flynn squinted his eyes to get a few of the approaching building. "The....Blue.....Oyster? Good enough, amigo. Let us be on our way."
The car pulled into a parking spot near the bar. Many Harley Davidson motorcycles were in the lot, but the dangerous duo thought nothing of it. Good ol' JF helped his hlaf-dozen virgin fans out of the car while Juvi got the wheel chair for grandma.
"Hmmmmm......", Mr. Flynn pondered. "Must be a popular biker hangout. No matter. If they try anything funny, I will dispose of them accordingly."
Inside the bar:
Loud, happy dancing music with a quick beat played over the jukebox and there didn't seem to be any women around. Juvi wheeled grandma into the nearest bathroom stall and let her do her buisness. Jerry and Juvi sat at the bar and ordered a few drinks for the ladies.
"Mr. Flynn, why do you hang out with this masked freak?", asked one of his fans, sitting on his lap. "He isn't nearly as talented, charismatic, and good looking as you."
"Now, now, young virganal slag. It's not Juvi's fault. Nobody really is as talented and handsome as I am. Heck, those bikers over there with chains and earings that are dancing with each other are even learing at me. No one can resist my charms............"
Meanwhile, a biker had come over to the seat next to Juvi and put an arm around him. Juvi looked uneasy, but shrugged it off.
"You are two fine lookin young lads, yes you are.", One of the bikers said. "How about we dance?"
"Don't mind if we do." Mr. Flynn got up and walked to the dance floor. "C'mon, Juice. Let's kick it!"
The duo stood on the floor with the bikers and waited for the jukebox to kick in again. It paused, then the familar tunes of YMCA blared over the speakers. Everyone began dancing as a biker pulled Juvi close to him. Flynn looked over and shruged. Suddenly, the wheels began turning in his head....
"Wait a minute", he thought. "No women, bikers with two earings, one guy has taken a liking to Juvi, grandma in the bathroom, YMCA playing, this guy to my right is rubbing my hair............"
"OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WE'RE IN A HOMOSEXUAL BIKER BAR!!!!!!"
Mr. Flynn grabbed the hair moletser's arm and flipped him over his shoulder and into the bar. He grabbed Juvi away from his new friend and calmly explained to him the situation.
"Juvi, we've got to get out of here! We've stumbled into one of nature's true oddities, a gay bar. Quick, let's slowly back our way to the door and get out of here!"
"What about the chicas?"
"Forget them. They'll be safe. This IS a gay bar, 'natch."
The duo began backing themselves up towards the door as the bikers attended to their fallen boyfriend. They made it to the door and turned to get out when they walked right into a rather large, tubby man. It was "Bubba", the bar owner.
"What going on here? Who these two yuppies that be trashing my bar?"
"I am the JUICE and this is my friend, Jerry. Don't mess with us, Jerry is a master of 348 different martial arts. Right Jerry? Jerry? JERRY?!?!"
Mr. Flynn had snuck past Bubba and was heading for the hills.
"JERRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!", Juvi screamed as the bikers pulled him back into the bar and locked the door.
"Sorry, Juice.", Mr. Flynn said. "Better you then me. Don't worry, I'll pick you up tomorrow."
Mr. Flynn hopped into his car and started up when suddenly he heard the clicking of guns and saw he was surrounded by the local PD.
"Freeze right there, buddy.", One of the officers said. "We got a call about two guys causing some comotion in the bar. You fit the description of the handsome man with the cool clothes and awesome haircut. So where's your masked buddy?"
"Uh, he's a little busy right now. I think he's still inside."
"Alright, Richard go get him and tell Bubba I said hi."
A few mintues later, the officer returned with Juvi in tow. Juvi looked a little worse for wear, but was loaded into the back of the squad car with Mr. Flynn anyway.
"Thanks for leavin' me back there, amigo. Your're a friend. Really, you are."
"It's okay.", Flynn replied. "I knew you could handle it."
"Say, you two look familar.", the driver said. "Aren't you rasslers or something?"
"Yes I am Mr. Flynn and this is my asscoiate The Juice. We wrestler for that up and coming wrestling orginization WCW."
"That where I've seen you two before! The boys at the bar always have that show on the TV when I'm in there. They're always saying how they would like to run their fingers thru Jerry Flynn's hair or something."
Mr. Flynn and Juvi looked at each other as the car sped off.
"Don't worry, you boys will be fine. You'll be out in a few hours. We know how those boys can get rowdy. A little rough too."
The next morning:
Newspapers, TV stations, and internet sites were all reporting this story. When Mr. Flynn was asked about it, he claimed it was blown out of proportion. Just a few guys getting into a good old fashioned bar fight.
When asked about where he got the new ear peircings from, Juvi declined to comment.
~end.
* due to World Wrestling Federation Entertainment lawers, we are not allowed to refer to Mr. Johnson by his "other" persona in a WCW related story.