My name is Dirk Strider. I am nineteen years old. My girlfriend of four months, Roxy Lalonde, is sixteen. Her junior prom is this weekend. I have never been a fan of school dances. I didn't even go to my own prom, but I promised Roxy that I would go with her. I am really not looking forward to being back in a high school setting. School was a bad experience for me.
I dropped out of high school at the age of sixteen, but that doesn't make me any less of a person. I am currently living in my own apartment, working as a self-employed, self-taught webpage designer. Yes, it is hard to make a living without an education, but I'm getting by. I also sell things on eBay. I sell whatever I can buy cheap, like last month for example. I found an antique grand piano on craigslist for free, as long as I could find a way to pick it up. As it turns out, once tuned, I was able to get $1500 out of it.
It kind of sucks needing to think about things like whether I'll be able to afford electricity each month, but ever since Roxy came into my life, nothing else has really mattered to me. I find ways to make it through. When necessary, I can use her computer to post a listing or two, and those sales are usually enough to get me through the next month or so. I have a back-up plan even. I don't normally tell people this, because I'm afraid they'll judge me, but I have a large collection of weapons. They have been in the family for a while now, but if need be, I think I'd probably be able to make some pretty decent money on the set. That's not going to happen, though. Once you've survived one week without heat, it's really not that hard to just wait another week. I'll probably never have a good credit score, but I have Roxy, and that's all that really matters.
It has been a while since I've heard from Roxy. Well, I guess a week isn't really that long. It just feels like it's been a lot longer. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I said something I shouldn't have. I'm confused as to why she would be mad at me right now. Prom was exactly one month ago today. That was our first misunderstanding. It started like a typical high school dance. Actually, it was just a typical high school dance, as far as I could tell. Roxy insisted on taking me back to her place at the end of the night. I mean, not that I didn't want to spend time with her, but the whole thought of being completely alone together made me a tad nervous. She also insisted that we drink the bottle of vodka that her mom had left sitting out. That's typical of high school kids too, I guess. Actually, more people seemed to be drinking before the dance than after it. The drinking was probably a bad idea, but it was what happened after that which was the biggest mistake.
Roxy called me earlier today. She thinks she is pregnant. I was in shock at first. I guess I was just not expecting it. I was pretty mad at myself at first. I've been thinking about things, though, and it's actually kind of exciting. I bet she'll let me take care of our kid while she finishes school. I mean, I work from my apartment anyway… I can turn the spare room into a baby room! Babies are super cute, too. I bet she will move in with me. Her parents are never around anyway. Hell, they might even be in jail at this point. I don't think anyone knows for sure.
I just got off the phone with Roxy for the first time in a month. She had some bad news. She lost the baby. As if that wasn't enough stress for one day, she said that this is my fault! There's still more though. I keep hearing her words, replaying in my mind like a broken record.
"…and besides, there was only a 50-50 chance that it was even your kid. Yes Dirk, there's someone else. We're over."
Just thinking about what she said is killing me. Everything was going to be perfect. We were going to live together and raise our kid and live happily ever after like the movies. I should have known that it was too good to be true; she was too good for me. I didn't deserve a girl like Roxy. I never deserved to be happy at all, and I never will be again.