'Whatcha doing Probie?' Tony stared as McGee collapsed through the door of the hotel room they were sharing, his arms full of luggage. 'Seriously McGee, I think you have insecurity issues. I mean we're here for a just a couple of nights and it looks like you've brought the kitchen sink.'

McGee just rolled his eyes. 'Don't want to hear it Tony. I cannot believe that I have to share a room with you. I mean spending all day listening to you AND then all night? Isn't there something in the Geneva Convention about this sort of cruelty to imprisoned captives?'

Tony just gave McGee one of his winning smiles.' Hey thousands of women would love to be spending the night with me. You should be grateful.'

'Yeh right DiNozzo a night with you is just what I lie awake at night thinking about.' Tony clapped him on the shoulder 'That's the spirit McGeek!

'By the way why on earth have you got so much stuff? It can't be clothes as you don't even own that many outfits.'

'Haha DiNozzo, watch and weep'. McGee opened up one suitcase and pulled out a dozen thick fluffy white towels. Tony stared and sniffed deeply before burying his face in the soft pile in McGee arms.

'Hey!' McGee pulled his precious burden away and Tony stood, still hunched over eyes shut.

'Was that Lavender??'

'Yes.' McGee replied.

'You brought your own towels??? '

'Not just towels'. McGee opened up a second case to reveal dazzling white immaculate sheets and pillow cases folded into precise rectangular shapes.

'Really McGeek, this is going too far. I'm mean I know we are in Hicksville but they do provide sheets and towel and things'.

'Tony, have you ever been listening when Abby has done her analysis of a hotel room's linen during a case? Do you know what is still left on those sheets, those covers even though they are 'clean'?' He shuddered.

Tony glanced over at the first double bed in the room that he had already claimed as his own by jumping on it, shifting the pillows around and used as a receptacle for various food wrappers and drink bottles. It hadn't seemed too bad but now looking at it with fresh eyes it did seem a little flat and grey. And lumpy.

'Yeh well, whatever McDorko'. He jumped back onto his bed making the springs creak alarmingly.

Tim simply sighed and turned his back on Tony and began stripping his bed and remaking it with his own linen. Tony watched fascinated at this glimpse of McGee in his own habitat. McGee took out a blinding white thick yet silky sheet and flicked it with a sharp snap, spreading it out over the mattress cover he had just laid out. He snapped the sheet again and Tony sniffed appreciatively.

'What's that?

'Spring Meadow' Tim replied as he began spreading the sheet out, smoothing down all the wrinkles.

'Spring meadow?'

'Yes. It's the fabric softener'

Tony lay back and smiled as the room began to be filled with the soft sweet smell. He hadn't realised how stale and musty the room had been before. It really did seem to remind him of a spring meadow, a fresh after rain smell with flowers and…..

'Wait! You have a different fabric softener for your sheets than you do your towels?' 'Yes' McGee replied obviously not wanting to get into this discussion.

'McGee! Seriously no wonder your single! You must spend entire evenings on your washing.'

'No Tony I don't. I just have sensitive skin and I like to feel that my sheets and towels are clean, that's all'. He snapped out another sheet and Tony watched as he obsessively started folding and tucking the upper sheet.

'So your sensitive skin declares that towels should smell of lavender and your sheets of a meadow?

Tim sighed 'No well obviously not. You caught me in the middle of my rotation.'

'Rotation?????'

'Well…… I rotate my fabric softer'.

Tony burst out laughing. 'You rotate your fabric softener?? You have a schedule for the way your towels and sheets SMELL!!!!!!'

'Arrgghhhh' Tony laughed and rolled around on his bed hysterically, dramatically clutching his sides. It wasn't until he rolled off the bed itself and was kicking his legs up in the air that McGee stopped and with a sigh turned, giving Tony the attention he was so obviously craving.

'Give it a rest Tony, it really isn't that funny. Get up, you are going to do yourself an injury and I don't think Gibbs would approve of a hysteria induced injury.'

'He would if he knew that your infatuation with lotions has spread to include anything that even touches your skin!' Tony laughed again and drummed his feet on the floor.

McGee frowned at his team mate who as far as he was concerned was simply rolling around collecting even more dirt, which he would later be sleeping in.

'Well I think it is perfectly sensible. If you have the same smell all the time then you get used to it and then you can't smell it anymore. That's half the point of fabric softener. I mean that's why you change your cologne every now and then because you can't smell it. I simply buy a different one every six weeks or so once I run out.

Tony tried unsuccessfully to smother a smile 'So what's the rotation?

McGee pretended not to notice and continued to obsessively tuck and straighten - 'Summer Meadow, White Lavender, Spring Rain, Ylang Ylang and Jasmine, Cool Breeze and that pretty much takes me through six months and then I start again.'

Tony stood up and tried to keep a straight face as he deadpanned to McGee 'So do you ….. have a chart... or something …. He couldn't even finish the sentence before the fit of giggles which had threatened to choke him rose up and made an appearance.

'Look Tony seriously, you can laugh all you want but we don't have long before we have to report to Gibbs and I'm sure by the look on his face its going to be a long night. So I would be grateful if you would just let me do this so I can look forward to a nice, clean bed when we eventually finish tonight.'

'Okay, okay' I'll leave you alone. Tony collapsed back onto his now thoroughly destroyed bed and sticking an arm behind his head tried to get comfortable. What was that lump sticking into his lower back. Was that a loose spring???

'What sort of sheets are they anyway?' Tony pretended not to be interested. Tim smiled. It was one of the joys that his new money had brought him that he could spend money on his linen without feeling guilty.

'Egyptian cotton, 1100 thread count. I tried higher but it was almost too silky. These ones are soft against your skin but still….' he paused as if realising what he was saying but continued anyway …' snugly.' He waited for the harassment from Tony but all he heard was an impressed 'Hummm' Tony squirmed on his covers as he felt the crumbs from his earlier meal sticking to his sweaty back. He turned and watched as McGee went to the wardrobe and pulled out the extra pillows that had been supplied.

'What are you doing now?'

'I like my pillows fluffy as well as clean.'

He proceeded to take each large pillowcase and fill with two each of the hotels thin lack lustre pillows and then cover with yet another pillowcase. Finally he folded the quilt provided by the Hotel and stuffed it into a sky blue quilt cover and then with his back turned to Tony proceeded to straighten, fluff, plump and arrange. Tony thumped his own pillows, stuffing them behind his head and succeeded in raising a small cloud of dust. Tony sneezed and tried not to think about exactly what that dust might have originally been. Was it a real fact that 90 of dust was actually human skin cells?

Tony who had closed his eyes for a minute, listening to McGee putter around had been visualising Tim as an old lady with a floral over coat and had just finished mentally placing a handkerchief over his curlers when he realised that McGee had finished. With the smile still on his face he turned and opened his eyes to a vision – that of McGee's bed.

With snowy white pillows piled high and the light catching an almost metallic quality in the deep blue quilt cover it seemed to almost shimmer in the light. It even smelled glorious, fresh, clean and soft. He couldn't help but stare and Tim catching his look smiled.

'Well I will certainly be having a good nights sleep tonight.'

Tony tried to restrain himself from launching himself off his bed and burrowing into the scented linen heaven that McGee had created for himself. He tried unsuccessfully to look unimpressed and simply stretched luxuriously back out on his own bed. This move was spoiled somewhat by the creaking headboard which seemed to be attached and yet somehow independent of the mattress.

Tony looked at his watch. 'Well I think it's going to have to wait till later. We have about 10 minutes to get our gear and report to Gibbs downstairs for our surveillance shift. Do you think some of those hot FBI girls will 'pop' by?'

McGee just rolled his eyes and grabbing another bag headed for the door. Tony raised himself off his bed, which in comparison to Tim's fluffy white clouds and azure sky creation now appeared not just drab grey but seemed to have acquired some mysterious faint yellow stains.

Tony took one last glance at the glorious construction that seemed to beckon him as he locked the room and headed downstairs.

Now, just how was he going to get Probie to give him his bed?

Please review. Silly really just wanted to see Tim and Tony discussing fabric softner. I'm sure this is a subject McGee takes seriously. Just a long one shot really. Second (and Final) chapter Ziva and Gibbs get involved as well.