**Sherlock lays on the sofa, an open laptop lies on the back of the couch, open to a newspaper article with a photo of a certain silver-haired Detective Inspector displayed.**

"Have you been staring at that picture all day, Sherlock?"

"Hmm, what?"

"That picture of the DI you introduced me to. Les- something. You've had that page open all day and you've been staring at it."

"No, I haven't."

"Um, yeah, you have. I moved my stuff into my room. You were looking at that page. Went to the shops. You were looking at that page. Came back from the shops. Still on that page. Now it's supper time and you're still starting at that page.

**Sherlock jumps up and paces towards the window.**

"Oh, when you said you were married to your work, I thought you meant you didn't... or you weren't… Oh!… But you really meant that you…"

"Shut. Up."

"Well, are you two exclusive?"

"What?! We're not dating."

"So you haven't told him how you feel?

"SHUT UP!"

"Whatever. He's good looking, I say go for it.

"…"

"Seriously. Where's the harm?"

"Um, I have to go. I'll be back. Um. Later."

**slams door**

Chapter 2

**Lestrade enters his flat, sees six feet of consulting detective curled into a ball on his settee**

"Did you have to break into my flat? I'm sorry about the drugs bust."

"…"

"You know you can't withhold evidence like that, Sherlock. I get that you hate me and my team but you have to realize that we're the ones that make the arrests and we're the ones that have to have properly processed evidence for prosecuting them once we nab 'em."

"…"

"Shouldn't you be home giggling about your brush with death with your new best friend-slash-flatmate-slash-personal bodyguard? Oh don't look at me like that, of course I know he shot the cabbie. I'm not stupid no matter what you think. And no, I'm not going to press the matter. The paperwork has been filed and it'll go down as an unsolved shooting."

"Hmmm."

"Look are you going to say anything besides 'hmm'? Or are you just going to sulk on my sofa all night? Because I'm tired and I want to go to bed after I have a beer and a sandwich."

"I don't hate you. Nor do I think you are stupid. Well not entirely."

"Gee, thanks for that."

"Your team is annoying and mostly incompetent and I consider dealing with them a waste of my time."

"Was there an apology in there somewhere? I missed it between all the insults."

"As usual you miss the point entirely, Lestrade. I'm not going to apologize for solving the case for you or for insulting you team. It's what I do and you know that. However, I must correct your misconceptions. I do not hate you. I have never hated you. Even when you pushed me into rehab years ago, I didn't hate you. I resented what I viewed as your interference at the time but looking back, I realize it was necessary."

"Oh… Kay."

"Sit down, please?"

"Sure."

"Not over there. Sit here, on the sofa."

"Alright. What's this about?"

"I … Erm… That is to say… John thinks… Well, more like suggested…"

"Sherlock, what is it? You're starting to freak me out a bit."

"It's recently been brought to my attention that I may… have… feelings for you. Decidedly not professional or fraternal feelings for you —"

"… Oh. Good."

"— Ordinarily I am loathe to succumb to such base emotions. As you are well aware, I consider The Work to be paramount. But inasmuch as you are an essential part of my work and are in fact essential — no, wait I already said essential. Vital! Yes, a vital aspect of the work! Right, since you are essential and vital, I would not be disagreeable to a change in the parameters of our relationship as it were… Wait. What do you mean 'good'?"

"I mean, good. I've had romantic feelings for you for ages, but I didn't want to upset the delicate balance of your sobriety and I know how important solving cases is to keeping you stimulated and clean and I was afraid that if I said anything you'd stop consulting with the Yard or spiral back into drugs. Which, having said all that out loud, is rather presumptuous of me to think that I could cause you to relapse. I know you are stronger than that. Not to mention brilliant and fit and mmph! Sherl-mmph!

"Lestrade, do shut up and let me kiss you properly this time. You can extol my brilliance and attractiveness later."

"Come back here you daft man."

"Gladly."

**cue intense snog session**