TITLE: Stay With You

AUTHOR: Obi the Kid

RATING: G

SUMMARY: A Yappy Obi story. Qui-Gon needs to leave for a solo mission, but first he has to find someone to look after Obi-Wan while he's gone.

DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. I make no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.

Note: This story stemmed from the Goo Goo Dolls song of the same title. Don't ask me how or why this story emerged from that song, but it did.

"Master, you can't go on a mission alone. What will I do here all by myself? I don't trust myself with me."

"I don't trust yourself with you either, but I've no choice. You must stay here. I'll only be gone a few days. I'll find someone to look after you."

"Okay, but you know how well that worked out last time."

"Perhaps Bren has forgotten that little episode by now."

"I don't think so. She still has some blurry vision in her right eye. And Master Bren remembers everything."

"She does, doesn't she? Well then, we won't ask her. Let's try asking a healer first. Terran will be glad to look after you. He's a healer. By nature, he cares."

"He also had cold hands. But I don't think that's nature's fault."

(They found Healer Terran in his office trying to warm his cold hands.)

"Terran, my friend. Hello. Good to see you again. It's been a while."

"It has. I do say that I'm grateful. Every time one of you is admitted here, it makes my life a lot more adventurous than I typically enjoy. Obi-Wan how are you?"

"I'm okay, but Master Qui-Gon has to go away for a few days and he needs someone to look after me and you were first on our list, so I will stay with you. Um… Healer Terran? Master, where did he go?"

"That was the fastest use of Force aided-speed I've ever seen. He ran out the office door in nothing but a blur. Nice going, Padawan."

"What? I didn't do anything. All I did was jump right into asking him if he could look after…ooooooh. Whoops."

"You have to gently lead into this thing. Con them a little. Make them feel needed or even guilty. Not scare the crap out of them by just blurting it out."

"I'll do better next time. So, Healer Terran is out. Who's next?"

"Mari, the Archives Technician?"

"She hates me."

"It's more dislike than hate really."

"There's a difference?"

"Well, no."

"Then why did you say it?"

"I was trying to make you feel better about it."

"I feel fine, Master. She hates me, I can deal. I'm not exactly her biggest fan either. She's bossy."

"We'll ask her anyway."

(They found Archives Mari…well, in the archives.)

"Mari. It's wonderful to see you. How have you been? How's life in the library world? Nice hair-bun. Read any good books lately? Find any lost star systems recently?"

"Hi Archives Mari! It's me, Obi-Wan Kenobi! Remember me? We need a favor. Do you feel needed or guilty? Master Qui-Gon is going away. While he's gone, I will stay with you."

"First things first, Kenobi. No."

"Come on, I'm a good kid. I'll even help you do filing and research and help you harass your patrons."

"If I wanted a mouthy, yappy, hug infested child, I would have had one of my own. And to be honest I'd rather jump into a fiery pit of lava one hundred times in a row, every year for the next one hundred years, than spend one minute alone with you."

"That's a little harsh, Archives Mari. I'm just a kid."

"Perhaps that was just a little harsh. Okay, ten times in a row for ten years. How about that?"

"I can live with that. So can I stay with you? Um…Archives Mari? Hello?"

"She's gone, Padawan. She and Terran must have eaten the Force for breakfast. Let's go try someone else."

"How about, oh! Master Brazo! He loves me. Always has."

"Except for that time last week when he tried to leave you in that burning transport vehicle after you crossed the wires and blew up the engine."

"You told me to practice my hot-wiring. I need more practice."

"You do."

(They found Brazo in the cafeteria eating alone. Obi-Wan ran to him and hugged him tight.)

"Hello, Obi-Wan! Your burns have healed I see."

"They have. I'm all me again. No more crispy Obi-Wan. I need you, Master Brazo. And you should feel guilty about that. Master Qui-Gon is going on a mission and I can't go. I have to stay here. So I will stay with you."

"I think not. As much I like seeing you for minutes at a time every now and then, I have plans for the next few days. Yes, plans, that's it. I have plans. I have to um, wash my hair, oh and get a manicure. My feet need to be scraped. My toenails trimmed. Oh and my beard too, don't forget the beard. I might even go wardrobe shopping. All this brown and beige can really depress a happy guy like me. So, no. I do not have time for you. Sorry. Bye!"

"But…Master Brazo?"

"He's gone too, Padawan."

"Super speed?"

"Yup."

"We're running out of people to ask, Master."

"Terran, Mari, Brazo…how about Master Cyan?"

"That guy who looks like Fabio and makes women and trolls drool and does cover shots for romance-holo-novels?"

"Yes, him. He doesn't do anything but model and get chased by women. He should have time to keep an eye on you."

"I don't like being chased by women. They grab me and pinch my cheeks."

"If they knew you, Padawan, they'd run away screaming instead."

"That's nice, Master. Thank you."

"No problem."

(They found Master Cyan posing half-nude in front of the large swimming pool. The screaming women were currently quiet and drooling poolside.)

"Master Cyan! Hi!"

"Obi-Wan! Hold on one moment while I finish this pose…and done! Okay, what can I do for you my young mouthy mush-starved friend?"

"Can you show me how to get muscles like that? Right now I just have stick arms. I blame Master Qui-Gon for not allowing me to strengthen my arms muscles by hugging him."

"Well, muscles take a lot more than hugging to create and maintain. Are you here just to watch my modeling or did you need something else?"

"Something else. Master Qui-Gon is leaving town for a couple days. I need you because I feel guilty. I will stay with you."

"Bad idea, kid. See those ladies over there?"

"Yes. They're drooling and it's dripping into the pool! Nasty! I am so not ever swimming in that pool again."

"Of course, but that's not the point. The point is they have claimed dibs on me for the next few days. I cannot say no to them. Therefore I will say no to you. Sorry."

"It's okay. I can share. I won't get in their way."

"You don't understand. I will be spending time with each of them. Alone."

"But I…oh eww! Master Cyan! You're talking about adult mush, aren't you? Jedi aren't supposed to do that, are they Master? Wait, why am I asking you? You and Master Bren…oh man! Now that's in my head. This is so wrong and disgusting. I can't even…gah! I'm leaving."

"See ya, kid!"

"Well, at least he didn't run off like the others, Obi-Wan."

"No, it was far worse. Now what? Who's left?"

"Yoda?"

"Master, no! Please no!"

(They found Yoda talking down and backward to a group of teenaged padawans. He dismissed them upon seeing Jinn and Kenobi approach.)

"Hi Master Yoda. I guess I will stay with you because you need me so you can feel guilty."

"Stay with me you will not. Guilty and needed I am…you are…I am not! Enough I have had of you. Master Qui-Gon, gone already you should be."

"I realize that Master Yoda, but I can't just leave Obi-Wan to roam the temple. That would be bad."

"Bad it would be. But watch him I will not. Plans I have."

"And he's gone too! I didn't know so many Jedi were so practiced on their Force super speed."

"Apparently the ones you know are. I suspect there's a common link there."

"I guess so, Master. Don't know what it would be though."

"You just say oblivious, Obi-Wan. Just stay oblivious to it all."

"I could ask Master Mace."

"You could. But he did try and bribe Terran to smother you with a hospital pillow during your last stay, remember?"

"I do. He was just mad because I wouldn't let him watch his holo-soaps in peace."

"I'd prefer you to be alive and breathing when I return from my mission, but let's ask him anyway."

(They found Mace in his office waxing his head.)

"Who's there? What the hell? Bye!"

"I need to feel guilty. I will stay with…Master Ma…wow. Now THAT was impressive, Master. He was faster than speeding blaster fire!"

"Most impressive. Well, that was our last person to ask. I don't know what to do with you now. I could lock you in a bathroom or…"

"There's always Master Bren."

"She threatened to kill me in my sleep if I bugged her about you this week."

"But it's an emergency. Tell her I'll be on my best behavior. I won't mush her or babble or anything. Well, I'll try not to do those things. I really can offer no promises. Sometimes I can't control me."

"That's all of the time. Okay, we'll try her. But if she kills me in my sleep, I'll be angry."

"And dead."

(They found Bren in her quarters, curled on the couch with a book. She looked up at the pair as they walked in unannounced.)

"Oh crap."

"It's good to see you too, Bren."

"I told you to keep him away from me this week, Stretch. Now I'll have to kill you in your sleep. And I was really starting to like you."

"Funny, Bren. I can't help it. I have to leave for a few days. I should already be gone. And I need someone to watch Obi-Wan."

"Master Bren, I'm guilty and needed. I will stay with you okay?"

"Come on! What about Terran?"

"Ran away."

"Archives Mari?"

"Ran away."

"Brazo?"

"Having his hair, nails and beard done."

"Wuss. Cyan?"

"Adult mush with his groupies."

"Master Bren, that was so wrong, they were all drooling into the…"

"Quiet, kid. What about Yoda or Mace?"

"Too busy talking down to people, waxing body parts and running away. You're all I've got, Bren. You're the only one sane enough in this entire temple of powerful Force-abled Jedi to handle a single thirteen-year-old child."

"How lucky I feel. Fine. I'll watch him. But there are conditions. Obi-Wan?"

"Yes?"

"No hugging. No babbling. No hour long baths. No middle of the night snacking. No drooling and/or thudding over Lima vids. No stories about how un-mushy Qui-Gon is. No ah…I think that's about it."

"So I just sit on the couch for three days and stare at the wall?"

"I guess that would be a bit boring, wouldn't it? How about, you behave and do as I ask when I ask and everything will be fine."

"I promise and swear on my padawan braid!"

"Not sure how much that means, but I'll accept it. You'll get one hug a day, either in the morning before breakfast, or in the evening before bed. One. No more, no less. If you try for more, I will kill you in your sleep."

"And she'll do it too, Obi-Wan. Trust me, I know. Been there, done that."

"Shut up, Stretch. I'm doing you a favor. Talk back to me, kid and you'll spend the next day with a bar of soap duct taped inside your mouth. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Now, Qui-Gon, get out. Kid, get your stuff from your quarters and return back here in ten minutes or the deal is off. Go now!"

(Obi-Wan sped out the door.)

"You too, Stretch. Go now!"

(Qui-Gon sped out the door.)

(The pair landed with a thump against the door of their apartment.)

"She scares me sometimes, Master. She has complete control over both of us. How does that happen?"

"I don't question it. I just obey it."

"Women are a lot stronger than men, aren't they, Master?"

"Let's not got there, Obi-Wan. Just behave yourself so we'll both live through the week."

"I promise. Can I have a hug goodbye?"

"No."

"But what if I never see you again? What if you find that bratty kid and the queen and go gambling without me?"

"As usual, I have no idea what you are talking about, but just in case you never see me again, fine. I will hug you."

"Nice! I could stay here forever."

"Let go."

"No."

"Obi-Wan, you have less than three minutes to get back to Bren's quarters. Do you want her wrath?"

"Even in my mush-induced state, I can understand the seriousness of that question. Okay. Hug over. Bye, Master! Have a good time. Bring me back a souvenir!"

"It's a mission, Obi-Wan. Not a vacation. And every mission is dangerous."

"Then come back scarred or something. That would be neat."

"Yes, neat. Be good. I'll see you in three days. Please don't blow up the temple."

"I promise it won't be that bad, Master. I'm a really a good kid underneath my unstable exterior."

"If you insist. Stay away from the archives and the pool while I'm gone. You've got one minute to get to Bren's!"

(He was late getting to Bren's.)

"Thirty seconds late, kid. How plead you?"

"Guilty. I was yapping a lot and I got a hug from Master Qui-Gon."

"No way! A real hug? Not one of those fake air hug things where he pretends to touch but he doesn't?"

"A real one!"

"Nice! Sit down on the couch kid and tell me all about it."

"But, all those rules about no talking and no mushing and…"

"Those? That was just a show for your stuffy old master. You know me better than that, kid. Although you will still behave and do as I say."

"I will."

"How about you tell me about the hug and then we'll watch a Lima holo together."

"Oh, he has a new holo out on the vids! It's called 'Clash of the Trolls'. I heard that Lima plays some cheesy God-like guy and gets to spout silly lines and wear a beard that doubles as home for wayward birds."

"I'll make the popcorn! You order the holo!"

The End