Disclaimer: Extreme Ghostbusters belongs to Aykroyd, Ramis, Barlow and Columbia Pictures. Representations of historical characters are influenced by the BBC/Showtime's The Tudors, as well as various historical research.

Extreme Ghostbusters: We Three Queens

Chapter 1

Sensing movement, Janine Melnitz looked up from her desk. Some distance in front of her a small, fair-skinned woman was tugging at an oversized red pullover and a pair of baggy jeans. Once satisfied she looked up, swept back a mass of wispy curls, plastered on a winning smile and approached the desk.

'Hello,' she said brightly.

Janine now judged her visitor to be a girl rather than a woman. She had an accent of some sort, but it was impossible to place from only one word.

'Hello,' said Janine. 'Can I help you?'

'Well.' The girl, grinning nervously, put her hands on the desk and leaned forward. 'Yes. I have a problem with a ghost.'

'Then you're in the right place,' said Janine, though she did wonder. This was not the first time an unaccompanied minor had come to her desk complaining of ghosts, but still, she judged this not to be the time to talk of parents and guardians. 'What's your name?'

'Catherine,' said the girl. 'Well, no. Katie.'

'Katie what?'

'Oh.' She furrowed her brow and thought for a moment. Then, with a childish giggle, she said, 'Culpeper.'

'Well, Katie,' said Janine, 'the team is out at the moment, but they should be back soon. In the meantime I'll get Egon to come and talk to you. If you'd like to come with me…'

'What a curious name,' said Katie, following Janine as she made her way towards the stairs. 'That is, no one is called it where I come from. What's your name?'

'Janine. Where do you come from?' asked Janine, pouncing on the opportunity.

'Originally, do you mean?'

'Well… yes.'

'Oh, well, nowhere special. Just England, really.'

'I thought you sounded British,' said Janine.

'Oh, I wasn't… that is, you ought to say English, you know. Britain isn't very specific. It only really exists at all because the king of Scotland inherited the throne of England some time in the silly old seventeenth century, and I couldn't very well be Scottish, could I? And I am certainly not Welsh, so don't you think it.'

'Um, sorry,' said Janine. 'If you'd like to wait here, I'll fetch Egon.'

She indicated the sofa. Katie sat down and began fiddling with her clothes again. Janine disappeared back down the stairs, and Katie looked around the room until she found herself staring into the face of a free-floating green ghost of some kind. She jumped to her feet in surprise, exclaiming, 'Good heavens!'

The ghost smiled, waved and babbled something at her. Katie, once over her shock, put on a sweet smile and said, 'Don't give me away, will you? I really am having trouble with a ghost, you see.'

The green ghost looked puzzled and scratched its head. It babbled something else, and then finally disappeared into an adjoining room. Katie sat back in the armchair and carried on her wait.

~.~

'She's Brit- um, English,' Janine said to Egon, 'and she's obviously using a fake name - it took her a few seconds to think of it - and she doesn't look a day over sixteen. What do you think we should do with her?'

'Talk to her,' said Egon, 'for a start. What did she say her name was?'

'Katie Culpeper. Well, she said Catherine first of all, but then she changed her mind and said Katie.'

'That isn't suspicious in itself - they're the same name. Catherine Culpeper? For some reason it sounds slightly familiar. Only slightly, mind you.' He paused for a moment, thinking, and then said, 'Well, we'll learn nothing until we talk to her.'

Out in the foyer, they met Roland Jackson emerging from the basement with an empty ghost trap.

'Did everything go all right?' Egon asked him.

Roland nodded. 'Without a hitch.'

'Well,' said Egon, 'that makes a nice change. You'd better come upstairs with me. I am told we have a mysterious visitor.'

~.~

Upstairs, Katie had already introduced herself to Roland's three team mates. On learning their names, she seemed happiest with Eduardo's.

'That's Spanish for Edward, isn't it?' she said.

'Yes,' Eduardo said expressionlessly.

'I haven't heard either of your names before.' She gestured to Kylie Griffin, and then to Garrett Miller. 'And I'm waiting for an Egon. Where I come from, men are usually called Thomas. Or,' she added, looking at Eduardo with a coquettish smile, 'Edward. And one or two other things. But usually Thomas. Oh, this must be Egon. Good day to you, sir.'

She stood up, dropped a curtsey and felt at her sides for a skirt. Finding none, she rose awkwardly and then sank back into her chair with a self-conscious smile.

'I'm sorry,' she said. 'I don't know the etiquette here. I've come from so far away.'

'England, Janine tells me,' said Egon. 'I'm Dr Egon Spengler. This is another one of my team, Roland Jackson.'

'Pleased to meet you,' said Roland.

Katie stared at him, blinked a few times and then looked round at the other faces in the room.

'Oh, I am sorry,' she said. 'I'm afraid you'll think me frightfully odd, but I do hope you'll help me anyway. You see, I'm having trouble with a ghost.'

'So I'm told.' Egon took a seat on the sofa. 'Do tell us about it.'

'Him,' said Katie. 'I know exactly whose ghost it is. It's King Henry the Eighth.'

Everyone was silent. Garrett was the first to give echo: 'King Henry the Eighth?'

'Yes,' said Katie, with another of her sheepish little smiles.

'How can you be so sure it's him?' asked Kylie.

'Ky, come on,' said Garrett, before Katie had a chance to answer. 'Henry the Eighth is Henry the Eighth. We've all seen the pictures.'

'If you're talking about that great big portrait that has become so famous,' said Katie, 'I should like to point out that he wasn't always big and bearded and ginger-haired with a smelly old ulcer on his leg, and he doesn't look like that now. He's a ghost. He's gone back to his prime. But I know it's him all right.'

'How do you know?' asked Egon. 'Did he tell you he was Henry the Eighth?'

'He doesn't have to tell me.'

'Why not?'

'Because I know,' said Katie. 'Does it really matter how I know? I just know!'

'All right,' Roland said soothingly. 'We believe you. Now, what exactly is the problem?'

'It's a bit difficult to explain,' said Katie. 'You see, he's there all the time. He keeps me a prisoner, and I have to do… well, whatever he wants, really.'

'What do you mean a prisoner?' asked Egon. 'A prisoner where?'

'Well… like I say, it's hard to explain.'

'If you're a prisoner, you must be somewhere,' said Kylie. 'Is it in your home?'

'Not exactly. It isn't… "of this world", as it were. I can't really describe it, but it doesn't matter anyway because I've managed to escape.'

'How did you manage that?' asked Garrett.

Katie frowned, her brow puckering prettily, and said, 'You do ask a lot of questions. Edward, you're quiet. These are all silly questions, don't you think? It's all beside the point. What matters is that Henry is causing me trouble.'

'My name's Eduardo,' he said, giving no opinion on the matter she had raised.

'Well,' said Roland, 'we at least need to know where to find him.'

'Oh, that's all right,' said Katie. 'He'll find me.'

'Okay,' said Garrett. 'And in the meantime…?'

'I'll stay here with you.'

There was a long silence, which Katie did her best to fill with an endearing smile. The five Ghostbusters all exchanged looks, each wondering what on earth they should do with this strange girl.

Finally Roland said, 'Maybe it would be better if you went home, and you can call us if Henry the Eighth shows up.'

'I can't go home,' said Katie. 'I've travelled a long way to get here.'

'From England?' asked Egon.

'Well… you could say that.'

'Really? And what else could I say?'

'Oh,' said Katie, rising to her feet, 'you are all simply horrid! I suppose you know who I am! Oh, no, wait a minute… of course you don't.' She heaved an almighty sigh, and then turned to Eduardo, saying in pathetic tones, 'You will help me, won't you, Edward?'

Eduardo raised his eyebrows. 'Why are you asking me, Catalina?'

Katie puckered her brow again, and said, 'Don't call me that. We aren't in Spain.'

'No, we're in New York, and my name's not Edward.'

'Oh, I'm sorry,' said Katie, smoothing out her brow and looking troubled. 'It's just that that's the way we used to do it back when… where I come from. This all feels dreadfully strange to me. You mustn't be offended, but I have to say, not one of you looks like a scholar or a soldier to me. You aren't what I was expecting at all. Well, except you,' she added, looking at Egon. 'I'm sorry I stared at the rest of you. I did stare - I know I did. I just didn't expect that people… well, that things would be so different. If you don't mind, I think I'd like to go away and think about what I ought to do next. Is there somewhere I can go and be on my own for a bit?'

'Of course,' said Egon, rising to his feet, while the four younger Ghostbusters tried to fathom this extraordinary speech. 'There's a bedroom upstairs. I'll show you.'

'Oh, thank you,' said Katie. 'But don't you think Kylie ought to show me?'

'Why?' asked Kylie.

'Well, a man showing me to a bedroom… I don't think Henry would like it.'

'Oh,' said Egon, 'I wasn't planning to, um…'

'Of course you weren't,' said Katie. 'I'm quite sure that here, there is nothing wrong in a man showing a woman where a bedroom is. Nothing wrong at all!'

Quite suddenly, Katie burst into tears. Kylie rushed over to her, took her by the elbows and began to lead her upstairs.

'It's all right,' she said. 'We'll help you. There's no need to cry.'

'I'm sorry,' said Katie. 'It's just that this is all so strange… so strange…'

'She's strange,' Eduardo said quietly.

'She seems to like you, Eddie,' said Garrett. 'I was half expecting her to ask you to show her upstairs.'

'Yeah, well, I don't think she's legal,' said Eduardo.

'She might be older than she looks,' said Egon. 'She's a little old-fashioned, isn't she?'

'You mean the bedroom thing?' asked Roland.

'Yes, that,' said Egon, 'and her surprise at not being met by a lot of white able-bodied men, and her wanting to Anglicise your name, Eduardo.'

'Hold on,' said Garrett. 'You think she wanted a bunch of white able-bodied men?'

'Not wanted,' said Egon. 'Expected.'

'This is New York,' said Eduardo. 'Why would she expect anyone to be like anything?'

'I think it's a disgusting attitude,' Garrett added. 'In this day and age!'

'Go easy on her, guys,' said Roland. 'Okay, she was surprised, but she wasn't put off by us. Clearly she's never been to New York before.'

'Clearly,' said Egon. 'And I suspect she's never been to this day and age before either.'

'What are you saying?' asked Roland. 'She's a ghost?'

'Possibly, but I can't be sure yet. I'd have liked to do a PKE reading, but she's out of her depth enough as it is, and if she wants us to believe she's alive… well, perhaps we should humour her for a while. Oh, Kylie, you're back,' said Egon, as Kylie reappeared on the stairs. 'We were just speculating as to whether or not Miss Culpeper is a ghost. What do you think? You touched her, didn't you?'

'Yes,' said Kylie. 'She felt pretty solid, but some ghosts do, don't they?'

'You don't seem surprised by the idea,' said Roland.

Kylie shrugged. 'I'm not. Ghost or no, there's something off about her.'

'I'm sure there's a clue in the name she gave us,' said Egon.

'There'd better be,' said Garrett. 'It's all we know about her.'

'We also know that she's from England,' said Egon, 'and that she's frightened of Henry the Eighth. In fact, now that I think about it, Culpeper is a name I associate with him. Do any of you know much about English history?'

'Sorry, Egon,' said Roland. 'Anything I know about Henry the Eighth is from movies.'

'Then it's probably wrong anyway,' said Kylie.

'Yeah?' said Eduardo. 'So what do you know about him?'

'Not much,' said Kylie. 'I never said I did. He had six wives, and he was the father of Queen Elizabeth the First.'

'Well, I know more than that,' said Egon. 'He was the father of Edward the Sixth, Mary the First and Elizabeth the First. I could probably name all of his wives if I put my mind to it, but that isn't going to help us at the moment. The first thing to do is Google the name she gave Janine. Catherine Culpeper. Most of the information on the internet won't be reliably sourced and verified, of course, but it should give us an idea.'

'She wasn't one of his wives, was she?' asked Garrett, as Roland made his way over to the computer.

'No,' said Egon, 'but there were three Catherines in all, and the name Culpeper definitely has something to do with Henry the Eighth.'

Seconds ticked by, and then Roland said, 'The entire first page of results is all about Catherine Howard, the fifth wife of Henry the Eighth, and her affair with a guy called Thomas Culpeper.'

'Ah yes, I remember,' said Egon. 'They were both beheaded for treason - is that right?'

'Yes,' said Roland, scanning Catherine Howard's Wikipedia entry. 'This Culpeper was executed a few days before Catherine, along with a Francis Dereham. Catherine was with Dereham before her marriage to the king - never during - but the king was harsher on him than anyone. He had him hung, drawn and quartered.'

'That's barbaric,' said Kylie. 'Does it say how old Catherine was?'

'No one really knows,' said Roland, 'because there's no exact record of her birth. But she was young when she married the king - maybe only fifteen.'

'So what does this mean?' asked Garrett. 'Are we assuming that girl upstairs is the ghost of this Catherine Howard?'

'We mustn't assume anything,' said Egon, 'but it seems highly probable. I wonder why she gave Culpeper's name. All we had to do was Google… Well, she didn't know that, but her involvement with him would have been famous at the time. How could she be sure we wouldn't guess straightaway?'

'Because we're across the ocean and far in the future, I guess,' said Kylie. 'And she was right, wasn't she? I never would have remembered that in a million years. So, we think she's the ghost of Catherine Howard. What are we going to do about it?'

'We can leave her alone for the time being,' said Egon. 'She's still deciding herself what she wants to do.'

~.~

Katie's time on her own stretched beyond the morning and well into the afternoon. Once or twice someone suggested going to check on her, but Egon insisted on waiting for her to come to them, if indeed she was still on the premises at all.

Roland spent some time reading about the reign of Henry the Eighth online. Kylie, not prepared to take her chances with information posted by any Tom, Dick or Harry, took a bus to the nearest library and returned with an armful of books. These she took down to the basement, where she settled herself on the floor to read.

It was Eduardo who came to get her some hours later. He squinted at the title of the book she was currently engrossed in, and said, 'Murder Most Royal by Jean Plaidy, huh? That looks like a trashy novel to me, Ky.'

Kylie frowned at him over the top of the thick paperback.

'Jean Plaidy's books,' she said, 'are thoroughly researched, and as historically accurate as they possibly can be in the absence of a time machine.'

'Who says?'

'Critics.'

'Is it good?'

'It's entertaining,' said Kylie, 'and it gives a popularised view of two of Henry's wives in particular. It basically says Catherine Howard was a spoilt brat who went around sleeping with everybody while she was still a child.'

'Well, what does Jean Plaidy know? Why not read all those textbooks you brought?'

Kylie got to her feet. 'Why don't you?' she said picking up the heaviest book she could see and shoving it into Eduardo's stomach. He made a sound as the wind was knocked out of him, and wrapped his arms around the hardback to keep it from falling on his feet.

'The guys who wrote those books don't really know any better than Jean Plaidy,' Kylie went on. 'They've done just the same as her: got together all the records and letters and things they could find, and pieced them together into a story. But the difference is that they're bland. They tell us what Catherine Howard did, but they don't attempt to explain why, or who she was, or how she and Henry or she and Culpeper felt about each other.'

'But she doesn't know - '

'I know she doesn't! But everything she wrote is possible, and the chances are she might even be right about a little part of it. It's better than nothing.'

'We don't have nothing,' said Eduardo. 'We have Catherine Howard herself upstairs.'

'We don't know that.'

'No, not yet, but we do know we have Jane Seymour up there.'

Kylie blinked. 'What?'

'That's why I came down here to get you. A few minutes ago we heard Katie and some other chick fighting upstairs, and when Egon went to check it out, he found this Jane Seymour woman.'

'Well why didn't you say so?' Kylie began a purposeful march towards the staircase. 'Do you know who Jane Seymour was?'

'Sure.' Eduardo picked up Murder Most Royal before following her. 'Another wife.'

'The third,' said Kylie, as they made their way through the foyer and up the next flight of stairs. 'She gave Henry his only son, Edward, and then died a few days later. When Henry died he was buried with her according to his wishes. What's she doing here?'

'I don't know,' said Eduardo. 'Why don't you ask her?'

'I will.'

They found Egon, Garrett and Roland assembled at the bottom of the final flight of stairs. From above wafted Katie's youthful tones in argument with a softer, quieter female voice.

'They asked us to leave,' said Egon, 'being men. Kylie, would you mind…?'

'Not at all,' said Kylie, and she began to ascend.

~.~

Based on what she could hear and had been told, the scene Kylie found in the bedroom was much as she expected. Katie was arguing with a rather beautiful, fair-haired woman in a Tudor gown not unlike those conjured to mind by the descriptions of Jean Plaidy.

'Catherine, please,' this woman was saying. 'You must come back. Come now, and the king will show you mercy.'

'No he won't,' said Katie. 'I've heard that before. The king never shows mercy.'

'What nonsense, child! You were lucky not to be burnt.'

'I'm not going. You can't make me. Why send you, anyway? Why not come himself? I bet I know. It's because he's frightened of these people. He knows they can protect me.'

'Can we?' said Kylie, and Katie spun round in surprise and alarm.

'Of course you can,' she said, composing herself quickly. 'You exterminate ghosts, don't you? Look, here's one come to bother me now,' and she pointed at the woman that was reputedly Jane Seymour.

'Katie,' Kylie said evenly. 'I'm going to ask you a question, and I want an honest answer. Are you the ghost of Catherine Howard?'

Katie was silent, but the look on her face gave away the answer.

'It's all right,' said Kylie. 'It makes no difference to me. Sometimes we help ghosts as well as people, if they need it.'

'Do you really?' asked Katie.

'Yeah, sure.'

'Oh, all right then,' and with that Katie began to strip off her twentieth-century clothing. Beneath her red pullover she wore an elaborately jewelled bodice, and the removal of her jeans revealed that she had managed to stuff several layers of skirts into the legs.

'There,' she said, smoothing down the skirts and fluffing them out. 'Now what?'

'Now you both come downstairs with me,' said Kylie, 'and we'll see about your problem.'

~.~

Jane and Katie sat side by side on the sofa, Jane looking anxious while Katie did most of the talking. Janine had joined Egon and the four younger Ghostbusters to listen to what the two Tudor queens had to say. All listened attentively, apart from Eduardo, who was flicking through Murder Most Royal.

'It's just like I said,' Katie began. 'We're stuck with Henry and it's simply awful. It's not just me, you know. It's Jane as well, and Anne.'

'Which Anne?' asked Kylie.

Katie gave her a scornful look that would not have seemed out of place on a modern day teenager. 'Which do you think?'

'Anne Boleyn, I suppose,' said Kylie. 'Henry's marriage to Anne of Cleves was annulled quickly and amicably. There's no reason why he should have any hold over her now.'

'Quite,' said Katie. 'Lucky old her, eh?'

'Catherine, really,' said Jane. 'You shouldn't be saying any of this. He's our husband!'

'Oh, shut up, Jane,' said Katie, then she turned her gaze back towards Kylie. 'He still sees Anne of Cleves socially sometimes. They ended up the best of friends, funnily enough.'

'Hold on a minute,' said Garrett. 'I'm getting lost. Can someone please fill the rest of us in on the whole story?'

'Try reading Murder Most Royal,' said Eduardo. 'I can tell you what happened… more or less. Henry's first wife was Catherine of Aragon.'

'You'd like her, Eduardo,' said Katie. 'She was Spanish, and sickeningly nice.'

'She was a saint on Earth,' Jane said with passion.

'And she's not with you guys and Henry?' asked Kylie.

'No,' said both Jane and Katie.

'Henry had his marriage to her annulled by some archbishop,' said Eduardo.

'Thomas Cranmer,' said Kylie, Katie and Jane.

'Right, so… isn't she in the same situation as that other Anne?'

'Not really,' said Kylie. 'That annulment was never sanctified by the Pope. Henry took advantage of the religious upheaval going on in Europe - rebellion against stuff like Catholic priests selling tickets to Heaven, and stuff like that - to create the Church of England, so that he could have his own minister declare his marriage to Catherine null and void. He had the Bible translated into English and made available to the masses, with the invention of the printing press, so the priests couldn't make it all up and scare people into giving them money - it's actually very interesting. But anyway, the point is that Cranmer then married him to Anne Boleyn. So… only one of them could be his true wife.'

'Doesn't that mean either Mary or Elizabeth had to be illegitimate?' asked Roland.

'Princess Mary was the sweetest, noblest and most legitimate child ever to live,' said Jane. 'Her parents' marriage was sanctioned by God. Anne was never his true wife.'

'But Anne's with him now, right?' said Garrett. 'So, why her and not Catherine?'

'It's probably what Henry wants,' said Katie. 'He was determined that Anne should be his true wife, and no one - not even the Pope - could tell him he was wrong. Or so I hear.'

'Besides,' said Jane, 'there can be no torment for dear Queen Catherine after death. She is in Heaven.'

Eduardo looked up from the book. 'Do you know that for sure?'

'I know it in my heart, sir.'

'Well, anyway, the point is she's not with Henry,' said Kylie. 'You want to fill us in on wife number two, bookworm?'

'Anne Boleyn, like you were saying,' said Eduardo. 'Henry wasn't happy with Catherine because she hadn't given him a son, and she was getting old, and he got all obsessed with this Anne woman because she refused to be his mistress. So his chief minister Thomas Cromwell pretty much set up the Church of England and found Cranmer and everything, but then Anne only gave him a daughter and a stillborn son. So Henry had Cromwell prove that she was having a bunch of affairs, even though she wasn't. Cromwell tortured this guy Mark Smeaton until he confessed, and he got a bunch of Anne's ladies in waiting to say she'd had affairs with five other men, including her own brother. They were all beheaded, and Anne was done the next day, by some French guy who used a sword instead of an axe and was supposed to be really good. That was Henry being merciful.'

'Very good,' said Kylie. 'You can read.'

'Their marriage was annulled as well,' said Jane, 'on the grounds that he was seduced by witchcraft. So I suppose even Henry no longer thinks she's his true wife.'

'What you forget, Jane,' said Katie, 'is that Henry actually loved Anne, once upon a time. He loved all of us. It wasn't just you.'

'Catherine, I know,' said Jane. 'Well, I can tell you what happened next. He married me. He was wooing me even while Anne was under trial. He did begin to turn against me, you know, when I didn't conceive for a few months… and when I tried to suggest that England should return to the true faith. After all, he didn't need his blasphemous Reform anymore, did he? But he managed to subdue me, and then - in a nutshell - I gave birth to our son Edward and died a few days later, when he loved me more than ever he had.'

'Lucky old you,' said Katie.

'You didn't have to commit your treason, Catherine.'

'Come on, you two, don't bicker,' said Kylie. 'Come on, Eduardo, what's next?'

Eduardo was quickly scanning the pages of the book, determined to keep up.

'Anne of Cleves,' he said, 'who we've already talked about. It was a political marriage, arranged by that Cromwell dude.'

'Cromwell wanted her because she was a heretic,' said Jane. 'That man was the Devil's messenger indeed. Of course, his determination that the king should marry Anne had more than a little to do with the charges of treason and heresy brought against him.'

'Let's stick to basics, shall we?' said Garrett. 'What happened with the second Anne?'

'Henry liked her portrait,' said Eduardo, 'but when he saw her in person he thought she was ugly. He had to go through with the marriage, because… well, because of some political stuff… but then he decided she was just too much not his type and had the marriage annulled. They stayed friends, like Katie was saying. She got a good divorce package and was called "sister" by Henry.'

'Okay, so he's not making her afterlife miserable,' said Kylie. 'Makes sense, kind of. Go on, Eduardo. What happened next?'

'Me, of course,' said Katie, catching Eduardo's slight look of panic as he tried to absorb the entire second half of the novel in a few seconds. 'You've already been reading about me, haven't you? Slut, spoilt trophy wife, adulterer, treasoner… Is that a word?'

'In this book,' said Eduardo, 'you're coming across as young and really, really stupid, and not much else. You're with that Dereham guy, and you have to hide him from the - um - "dowager duchess" when she comes to take you to meet the king's men.'

'That's her step-grandmother,' said Kylie. 'Her parents sent her there to be primed for life at court, but actually she was really lax, and her charges were all sleeping with each other.'

'That's a bit of an exaggeration,' said Katie. 'Well, I did sleep with Francis, but I wasn't just then. Anyway, who wants to finish off? Why isn't wife number six with us?'

'That's easy,' said Kylie. 'Henry left Catherine Parr a widow. She remarried, had a child and died not long after. She was nothing to do with Henry anymore.'

'She is surely with Thomas,' said Jane. 'Dear, dear Thomas, and their daughter. What a wonderful thing to be with her child.'

'Which Thomas?' asked Eduardo, flicking through the book once more. 'You were right, Katie, almost everyone was called Thomas.'

'Thomas Seymour,' said Jane. 'My brother.'

'Catherine Parr married your brother?' said Kylie. 'How did I miss that?'

'Because it's not really mentioned in Murder Most Royal,' said Eduardo. 'It's all about Anne Boleyn and then you, Katie.'

'How does Anne come across?' asked Katie.

'Like a total victim. Completely faultless.'

'Well,' said Katie, 'I think you ought to put that book away, or even better, burn it. It's obviously nonsense from start to finish.'

'All right,' said Egon, 'so now we know the story…'

'The basics of it,' said Jane.

Egon nodded. 'Indeed, but even if I knew every last detail, I don't think I'd be any the wiser. This isn't science. It's politics. I really can't understand why you two, and Anne Boleyn, are in this situation.'

'What does it matter why?' asked Katie. 'The point is, we are in it, and we just need you to dispose of Henry for us.'

'Catherine, hush!' said Jane. 'He may hear you!'

'Is he here?' asked Egon.

'Not that I can tell,' said Katie.

'But he's always watching,' added Jane.

'Until he materialises,' said Egon, 'there's really nothing we can do. And if he decides to put in an appearance… well, what do you all think? This case is most unusual. It must be the first time we've had a ghost coming to complain about a ghost.'

'I'll tell you what I think,' said Roland, making his presence known at last. 'This Henry sounds like a tyrant and a bully, and I don't think we should discriminate just because he's not threatening the living. You can't treat people like that, dead or alive.'

'Interesting,' said Egon. 'Janine, what do you think?'

'Well,' said Janine, 'it would be hard to know what to do about the paperwork. I mean, Catherine Howard's ghost isn't going to be able to pay us, is she?'

'Oh, a mercenary,' said Katie. 'You really ought to help us, you know, if you have an ounce of compassion. Our situation is simply dreadful!'

'Hey,' said Janine. 'I have more than an ounce of compassion. I just don't want to judge a situation I know nothing about.'

'And besides,' said Garrett, 'your ghost isn't even here. He might never show up.'

'He will,' said Jane. 'He sent me after Catherine, and I daren't go back without her. If neither of us goes back, he'll come for us.'

'Or maybe,' said Eduardo, 'he'll send someone else.'

Everyone looked at him, and then followed his gaze to where a third ghost was standing. She was dark-haired, with two prominent moles on her face and a choker at her throat.

'Anne Boleyn, I presume,' said Kylie.

'The one and only,' said Anne, a smile spreading across her strange but striking face. 'My dear, I am so happy to be here. You a Ghostbuster, with all these men your equals! Oh, how I wish I could have been born on the same day as you. And you are quite wrong, good sir,' she added, looking at Eduardo. 'I was not sent. Katie, darling!'

Anne held out her hands, and Katie rushed over to clasp them in her own.

'Katie,' said Anne, 'cousin!'

'Really?' Eduardo started flicking hastily through the book.

'Oh Katie,' said Anne. 'Dear Katie. You clever, clever girl.'

To be continued…