anyways long time since i posted or updated...still working on that...

disclaimer: i do not own anything but the freedom to write yaoi on paper, along with angst

so on with this story rated M for some "stuff" that will happen soon, drugs, swearing the whole shizam

so enjoy

Prologue

Riku was lost the line between right and wrong hazed through his eyes, and the party scene taking over him. Axel was always there, but is that enough to stop the party boy from killing himself? From breaking his own heart?

"I love you Riku you know I always will."

I smile

"I love you too."

1 shot. Forget it.

"Riku come play tag with me"

I laugh

2 shots. No more pain.

"Hey loser, come for a walk"

I take his tanned hand.

3 shots. Hazy memories.

"Riku when were older will you marry me?"

"Of course" I reply grinning.

4 shots. Can't remember him.

"Axel run!"

Gunshots ringing in my ears

"No, I won't leave you."

5 shots. Regret.

I open my eyes slowly white lights blinding me. My throat is parched and feels scratchy. I can't remember anything.

Who am I?

Where did I come from?

Where am I?

Who do these crying faces belong to?

"Riku." The woman says holding me. I'm frozen.

"Why are you crying miss?" I ask.

She cries harder

A younger boy is standing beside her.

"Silly that's your mom, and I'm Axel you're my best friend, and your Riku." He fills my emptiness.

"Riku." I say tasting the name on my tongue it sounds so familiar. "Your 14 years old and were in the same class."

I sit silently it sounds familiar, and now the memories are coming back. "We live next door to each other?" I ask aloud to confirm the memory.

"Yep, we grew up together; I almost thought you would forget my handsome good looks." Axel says. I smile.

"Why am I here?" that's the only thing I don't remember it's like my mind is on purposely forgetting about that one important detail.

"You got hurt really bad, a drive by shooting while we were walking home together; they missed me by inches because you pushed me and took the bullet." He says darkly.

"I promise you Riku I'll find who did this and I'll make them pay." He says loudly. I give him the most sincere smile.

"Thanks Axel I know you will."

We grew up together, loved each other, we were so close back then I like to think we still are but I can't because I did so many hurtful things to you now a days, some are unforgivable. I ruined everything because I was too caught up on growing up faster to get off this island; it's my fault Axel please don't blame yourself."

anyways read and review next chapter set up right after this because i said so. update will happen again hope fully in the next 3 days i will not fail you all