SECRET
A/N: I just suddenly had this idea. So I wrote it...
Disclaimer: HP characters are not mine!
Summary: There were many things that people didn't know about Hermione Granger. And she was not willing to tell them about it. They could keep guessing, but she would never admit anything. But, God knew how she wished she had told him...
SECRET
Hermione Granger had secrets. Secrets that nobody else knew about except herself. She hid them for the longest time, but she would never tell anyone about it, even Harry Potter, or Ron Weasley, or her parents.
She secretly fell in love with somebody during their time at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Nobody knew. Nobody would have even guessed. She did her best to keep it a secret, she pretended to devote her time only to her studies and to books.
Nobody knew she stared at him during classes. Nobody knew she smiled when she saw him laughing. Nobody knew she held her breath whenever he passed by. Nobody knew she cried for him to sleep. She cried because he didn't know about her feelings. She cried because she wanted him to know. She cried because she couldn't let him know. She cried because it had to stay a secret that nobody knew.
She wanted to save him from going to the wrong path. She wanted to grab him and show him the light. She secretly cried when he turned to the dark side.
She didn't want to hurt him during the war. She secretly tried to avoid battling him. But she had to fight and face him... he threw hexes at her, she dodged them. Few of his hexes hit her, but she still didn't want to hit him back. She secretly did her best not to hurt him... and she secretly regretted and cried herself to sleep when she accidentally hit him with a strong curse that caused him to bleed.
She secretly jumped in joy when he joined the Order of the Phoenix. She didn't show her happiness, she stopped herself from hugging him tightly. She stayed cool, unaffected, uninterested in the outside when the truth was, she secretly wanted to kiss him right then.
She secretly glanced at him during meals, during trainings, even during missions. She secretly protected him from afar whenever somebody tried to curse him from behind.
She secretly sneaked inside his room once, after a bloody mission that caused him slightly serious injury. She was worried and she couldn't secretly worry about him. She sat beside the sleeping man in his bed and touched his injured arm. He opened his eyes and was surprised to see her. He was about to yell when she did what she always wanted to do, she kissed him. Roughly. With want. With need. With passion.
At first, he didn't respond. She deepened the kiss and he finally gave in to her.
She secretly squealed in delight when he started moving his lips against hers, making the kiss more passionate.
Suddenly, she couldn't secretly fight it anymore. It was getting hotter every minute... She knew what she wanted, what she needed. She knew she must not want and need him the way she did, but she wanted to be selfish for the first time.
She secretly wanted him to be her first. She wanted him to take her. She wanted to lose herself to him.
And that she did.
She initiated it and he didn't seem to mind.
After an hour, she lay beside him. They were both exhausted. When their heartbeat paced normally again, he asked her 'why?'
She answered him with a lie, "Nothing. It was spontaneous. It didn't mean anything."
But the truth was, it meant everything to her. That moment with him was the happiest moment of her life. How could she have just denied it?
He nodded and accepted her answer. He didn't even look disappointed or dismayed or insulted. Nothing of that sort.
When he fell asleep, she dressed up and pointed her wand at him. He didn't need to remember what happened. "Obliviate."
She secretly despised herself for such action. He forgot what happened, but she never did. She always replayed it at night and secretly cried because of regret. She regretted why she took the memory of that beautiful night from him.
It would've been something for him.
She was stupid.
She paced back and forth, biting her thumb in worry. He volunteered himself in a very dangerous mission. She secretly wanted to object, but she couldn't. He left without sparing her a glance. And now she was worried sick, something might happen to him.
She secretly cried in the bathroom every morning, when she found out he wasn't back yet.
Her friends didn't know she was worried of him. They kept wondering what was bothering her, they kept asking, but she would never tell them. It was her secret. No one else had to know.
One day, they received the news. He succeeded in his mission. He captured 10 Death Eaters and they were all rotting in Azkaban now.
But he was dead.
He was hit with the Killing Curse just seconds before his back-up arrived.
She secretly wished there was a counter curse. But there wasn't any...
She secretly broke her heart in silence when she saw the dead body of the man she loved.
She secretly cried herself to sleep at night. She secretly cut herself in the morning. She secretly wished she died as well.
He was dead. The meaning of her existence was gone. What else was there to live for?
And when she was about to kill herself, she found out something. A reason to continue living.
She was with child.
She was carrying his baby.
She was secretly happy about it.
Her friends noticed her growing tummy. They asked her if she was pregnant. She didn't need to answer, it was obvious.
They asked her about the father.
She said it was a secret. And nobody had to know.
They could keep guessing, but she was not telling. It was up to them...
She gave birth to a baby boy who looked exactly like his deceased father. Her friends were all shocked, but she ignored them.
She turned grey alone. Her son had his own family. She lived in her house all by herself.
She pondered about the past. She still loved him after all those years. She secretly loved him. She thought nobody had to know other than her.
But, she thought, what if she told him?
He wouldn't have volunteered himself on a mission that got him killed.
She need not tell her friends about her feelings for him. But she realized it would've been best if she told him. No one else but him.
It could've been their secret, not hers alone.
They could've grew old together, not her alone.
Her friends still kept asking her about the only man she loved and the father of her son. Her son was a splitting image of his father. Why do they still ask?
It was her secret, so she wouldn't tell.
But it was obvious, they should've guessed it long ago.
But they were all stupid. They wanted the answer to come out from her mouth.
But she was stubborn even at her old age. So, she kept her silence.
But when her grandchildren asked her about the love of her life, she couldn't hide it anymore. She kept it a secret for so long, she didn't want to die with it. So, she shared her secret to them.
"I fell in love with Draco Malfoy the day I first laid my eyes on him. I kept it a secret all this time, but I'm sure I was obvious. Now, children, don't tell anybody about it okay? It would be our secret."
Ha, still a secret in the end.
A/N: I know it's bad...I know... But please, leave REVIEWS and tell me how you felt about it. If it disgusted you, or sickened you, or if you liked it in the tiniest bit, please let me know. I would accept any reaction. Just show me some reactions...