A/N: Wishing you all a wonderful new year!
Set in season 4.
"He'll be here," Lanie promises her, squeezing her elbow as she passes and Beckett startles at the words, knowing exactly who her best friend is talking about and yet-
"Who?"
Lanie rolls her eyes. "Don't play that game with me, sweetie. I know who you're staring at the door for."
"I am not staring at the door," she huffs, turning her back on the entryway and returning her gaze to her hardly touched drink.
"It's his bar. Hell, it's his New Year's Eve party. He wouldn't miss it."
"Lanie," Kate sighs, rolling her eyes at her friend's placating words. "I'm not concerned over him showing up or not. I-"
"Only if he shows up in time for midnight, right?" Lanie teases, wiggling her brow and Beckett scoffs at her.
Castle is her friend, her partner, the man who loves her. But they're still waiting. Just because it's New Year's Eve and with the strike of midnight comes a certain tradition doesn't mean she can simply overlook the pace they've set thus far. She's still working to be more, to be better for both him and herself, and as much as she wishes she could kiss Castle at midnight, her walls have yet to fall.
"And don't tell me you dressed up for anyone but that man," Lanie continues, plucking at the skirt of Kate's dress, the fitted fabric that clings to her thighs.
"Shouldn't you be coordinating with Esposito, preparing for your New Year's kiss?" Kate tosses back instead of denying Lanie's claims. It's a pointless endeavor, and it may be a little true. She had bought the black cocktail dress for his party, knowing he'd see her in it, had imagined his expression while she'd assessed the plunging v of fabric at her back in the mirrors of the dressing room.
She can't deny the surge of disappointment she had felt upon walking inside The Old Haunt only to learn from his mother that he was going to be late due to an unexpected delay in his flight back from Los Angeles. He had been gone all week, accompanying Alexis on the trip to visit Meredith.
"I won't even be able to spend much time with Alexis while I'm there," he had told her the day before his departure. "After we land in LA, I have to go straight into meetings for the Nikki Heat movie, since it's going straight to DVD," he had grumbled, pouting over that part, and she remembers gripping the handle of her coffee mug a little tighter to refrain from reaching out, cupping his chin and smoothing her thumb over those puckered lips. "Then Paula planned impromptu signings through Los Angeles and San Diego. I'll be swamped for the entire four days. Oh, but on the upside, I won't have the time to see Meredith either."
She had snuck a peek from the corner of her eye then, noticing him watching her, ensuring that she could read the subtext laced through the statement.
No more casual sex with my ex.
"Pretty good upside," she had murmured around the rim of her cup, taking a sip and feeling him relax in his chair beside her desk.
Beckett had kept him up to date on their cases, spoken to him on the phone during the drive to San Diego, smiled softly over the photos he sent her of the city, of shops and scenery he thought she might like. And it had only been four days, but she had missed him and he was supposed to be back in time for the party he had planned weeks in advance for New Year's Eve.
But the party had started three hours ago and it was nearing midnight.
"Who said I was kissing Esposito?" Lanie demands, averting her eyes to one of the flat screen TVs positioned overhead and taking a sip of her champagne. "And stop trying to change the subject."
Kate ignores her, glancing down once more to the drink in front of her, fighting the urge to turn watchful eyes back towards the door.
"We're going to make it," Alexis promises him, patting his bobbing knee in the seat of the town car, but his hope is dwindling.
It's New Year's Eve and the streets are clogged with traffic, the mess of Times Square and the holiday itself casting chaos through the city, and he cannot start his new year off like this, not when he knew Kate Beckett was waiting for him at his own damn party.
Lanie had sent him a blurry photo of her and he had nearly lost his breath, along with his footing, as he had hustled through the airport with Alexis. She looked stunning, like something out of his dreams, and he may not be able to kiss her tonight, but he had to see her.
"She dressed up for you," Alexis murmurs at his side, pressing her cheek to his shoulder, flickering her eyes down to the phone in his hand, still alight with the picture of Kate.
Castle waves her off, pockets the phone in his jacket and drops his cheek to the top of his daughter's head. "She dressed up because it's a party."
"Dad, you and Beckett… it scares me sometimes, what she could do to you."
"Alexis-"
"But I know how you feel about her, how happy she can make you, and I think – from what I've seen recently anyway – that it goes both ways," Alexis admits, fidgeting with the sleeve of his jacket. "The way she looked after the bank blew…" His daughter's sentence trails and he doesn't push, even though he wants to. Badly.
They don't talk much about that day, about those terrifying moments when he and his mother were almost blown to pieces in an explosion, but he does know there's been a shift in his daughter ever since. Most noticeably, a shift towards Beckett rather than away from her.
"It's three minutes to midnight," Alexis states instead, lifting from his side and reaching for his door.
"Alexis?" he questions, but his daughter is nudging him out of the car. They're not moving anyway, but he had finally begun to accept that he was going to miss the party, miss Kate. Apparently, though, Alexis didn't intend to let that happen.
"If you run, you can make it," Alexis informs him, a smile spreading across her lips, revealing a glimpse of white teeth in the dimness of the backseat. "I'll go home, get our bags in safely."
"But don't you want to come?" Castle inquires, his heart already beginning to pound with anticipation.
If he ran he could make it in time.
But his daughter comes first, her needs his top priority, even though Alexis is already shaking her head. "I'd love to, but you know I'm exhausted and would actually prefer to start this year off from the comfort of my bed."
He narrows his gaze on her, but Alexis's eyes glimmer with truth, with the faded look of a day's worth of travel and jetlag, and some hope for him.
"You're the best, kiddo." Castle swoops forward to plant a kiss to the top of her head. "Call me as soon as you're back home safe."
"I will, good luck!" Alexis calls after him, tugging the door shut, but still smiling at him from behind the glass of the window.
Castle waves to his daughter as he steps onto the sidewalk and then begins his race down the street.
The countdown has started and Beckett finally sighs her acceptance. He's not going to make it and it isn't his fault, she can't possibly blame him for a delayed flight, but disappointment still wraps her in its cold embrace.
All of their friends are chanting the numbers, less than thirty seconds to go, and Kate slowly begins to weave her way through the crowd, hoping to escape before the strike of the New Year can resound through the bar, desperate for the chill of night air instead. She normally works the New Year's Eve shift; she's used to spending this moment in solitude.
She had just hoped this year would be different.
Castle can hear the shout of seconds ticking by all around him, echoing through the streets, and he's so close, the entrance of The Old Haunt in his sights, and he has ten seconds left. He'll make it.
Kate climbs the last step to reach street level, breathes in a sigh of relief, and grits her teeth through the shiver that tumbles down her spine. She had left her coat in the bar, but it's too late to turn back, not when there's only five seconds left until midnight.
"Kate?"
The gasp of her name has her eyes flying up to the familiar source, to the writer jogging towards her, a relieved smile spilling across his lips and jerking the corners of her mouth upwards, a smile of her own sparking to life before she can stop it.
"You made it," she gets out, disbelief and a ridiculous burst of joy spreading through her chest.
3…
"I made it," he manages, out of breath as he meets her on the sidewalk, his eyes shining while his hands reach for her waist, pausing above her hips, unwilling to touch without her consent.
2…
Kate snags the lapels of his coat, draws herself in closer and lifts on her toes. This breaks her rules, but he looks as if he just ran a marathon, looks at her as if she was what he was running to, and waiting behind a wall without him had been making her miserable lately.
1!
They couldn't start this new year off in a state of misery.
Happy New Year!
Castle's hands rise to cradle her cheeks when she kisses him, the low hum of his moan and the riot of his heart between them drowning out the cheers of celebration, the tug of her bottom lip into his mouth and searing stroke of his tongue clearing her mind of everything but him and the taste of victory on his lips.
"Kate," he gasps out, his heart racketing so hard against his ribs, she has unclench her fingers from his coat to cover it with her palm, stop it from beating its way out. But her own heart refuses to silence, hammering through her chest and poking holes in her lungs, the task of breathing impossible, unfavorable.
She doesn't want oxygen; she just wants Castle to keep kissing her, for this moment of resolution to last forever.
Castle's hands slip through the curls of her hair, his cold hands skimming her naked back, converging at the base of her spine where the fabric meets again. Her body cants forward, into the furnace of his, and he presses his lips to the corner of her mouth.
"You look beautiful."
"You look winded," Kate murmurs, touching her fingers to his cheek, still able to feel the heat of blood beneath the layer of cold on his skin.
"Had to run a couple of blocks to make it here in time," he explains on a chuckle. "Though, I can say without doubt that it was totally worth it. I had wanted to start the New Year with you, but I didn't know it would be like this. Are we still…"
His sentence trails and when Kate looks up, she can see the trepidation in his gaze, threatening to dim the vibrant shades of blue.
"Waiting?" she finishes for him, watching him nod, pursing his lips with a renewed form of acceptance.
"Kate, if you just want to mark this as a one time thing, a special occasion for the holiday," he muses, waggling his eyebrows at her for effect, but his heart isn't in it, his entire face a mask comprised of forced cheerfulness. "That's okay. If you're still not ready, we don't have to-"
"I'm not ready," she interrupts, feeling his chest deflate beneath her palms, and Kate clutches at the edges of his coat again. She has the power to break him so easily, his fragile heart practically in her hand, willing to be crushed, and she wants so badly to give it back to him before she permanently damages it without even trying. But part of her selfishly wishes to hold onto the beautiful privilege of his love, to tend to this blossoming thing between them and allow it to bloom properly. Besides, she doesn't think Castle would accept his heart back from her, even after all she's managed to do to it. "And that wall I told you about is still there, but Castle, I don't - I don't want to wait alone."
His eyes rise from their staring match with her shoes, ripples of surprise echoing through the pools of his irises, eliciting those elusive flecks of gold around his pupils, like halos she's never been close enough to distinguish, admire.
"There's still so much more I need to do for myself, for you, but I just don't want to-"
"Do it alone?" he supplies, his voice a hopeful lilt in her ear, and Kate leans into the wall of him, nods her agreement until he presses his forehead down to hers.
She can put in the work, she's already made so much progress according to Doctor Burke, but she had accepted Castle as her partner long ago, so why couldn't he be her partner in this too?
"I told you once that I would do anything you needed," he murmurs, his breath warm on her cheek, coating her lips in heat. "Including nothing, if that's what you want."
She remembers, remembers telling him that what she wanted was her mother's killer, nothing else, but now, standing on the sidewalk with him minutes after midnight on the first day of a new year, she finds that's no longer the case.
"That's not what I want," she decides. Auld Lang Syne is resounding through the city and Castle laces his arms around her waist when she drifts in closer, his fingers dancing at the bared skin of her spine.
Kate's arms coil around his neck while her lips seek his, capturing another kiss from his mouth that has Castle hauling her in closer, their chests sealing, hips bumping, and oh, she may never be ready for this. May never be prepared for how much he wants her, how desperately she aches for him in return.
"I want everything with you," she breathes out, and it's too soon, too soon to be confessing things like that to him, but before he can even reply-
"Katherine Beckett, where the hell did you – oh, girl!" Lanie exclaims, clapping a hand over her gaping mouth. "I knew you were dying to see him but damn."
Kate huffs, buries her face in Castle's shoulder to hide the flaming skin of her cheeks.
"Dying to see me tonight, Beckett?" he husks into her ear, feeding Lanie's enjoyment of the show if her best friend's squealing is any indication, and Kate shoves him away for it, but Castle only laughs at her, reels her back in and doesn't let her go.
"Oh, you two are too cute," Lanie sighs, cradling her champagne flute to her chest. "But get your asses inside before you freeze out here. And so writer boy can actually enjoy the last few minutes of his party."
"Smart idea," Castle concurs, already shrugging off his coat and draping it over Beckett's shoulders. "You must be freezing, I didn't even think-"
"I was warm enough," she assures him, her smile soft before her eyebrows quirk. "We'll be right behind you, Lanie."
Her best friend narrows her eyes on them, more specifically her, but the joy brimming in her gaze overwhelms her silent reprimand.
"I'll get you two some champagne."
Lanie disappears down the stairs and Castle holds to Kate by the collar of his coat hanging at her shoulders.
"After this…"
"It'll be late, but we could go back to my place," Castle fills in for her, drawing her in closer, grinning when she does little to resist the gentle tug of his fingers. "I haven't had the chance to eat since earlier this afternoon, so we could have a post midnight meal, talk a little more about waiting together."
"And then?" she hums, flicking her eyes to his mouth, biting her bottom lip in anticipation of what could come next.
"I'll set you up in the guest room," he states, the corner of his mouth quirking in amusement. "Unless you had something else in mind?"
Oh, waiting together is going to be harder than she thought.
"No, I like your plan, Castle."
"I like your plan," he parries, his thumbs skimming the sides of her throat, stroking over the wild beat of her pulse. "Better than any resolution."
She curls her fingers around his wrists, humming her agreement. New Year's resolutions had become meaningless to her long ago, but this… this was not some holiday resolution she had any intention of breaking after the magic of midnight wore off. This was a commitment she would honor.
Kate tilts her chin upwards to dust her lips along his, brushing a whisper of a kiss to his mouth while she speaks. "Happy New Year, Castle."