The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any Galaxy Ranger Characters has gone to a party somewhere. Just another mad fic through my mad mind.
New Years Eve At BETA
"Being glorified baby sitters for a bunch of stuffed shirts at a party," Shane grumbled as he folded his arms, wincing at the sound of drunken cavorting senators. The Galaxy Rangers were watching members of the Board of Leaders and several alien ambassadors having fun.
"You can handle explosions and shoot outs but a bunch of drunks laughing at a party unnerves you?" Doc smirked.
"I'm used to the sounds of battle," Shane pointed out. "I grew up on them. But this…" He shuddered. "All these senators remind me of bloated hyenas."
"Don't let Wheiner hear you say that," Zach cautioned his friend.
"Please, he's so drunk he can't even hear what he's saying," Commander Cain chuckled as he appeared from behind them. "And quite frankly Gooseman's assessment is accurate."
"Commander Cain!" Zach was stunned.
"I'm a slippery little devil aren't I?" Cain smirked. "There is one good thing about these parties. They are an excellent source of revenue for blackmail material. If one is into that sort of thing. Oh don't worry Captain I wouldn't dream of blackmailing you or the Galaxy Rangers. You don't have enough money or influence to interest me. No I'm after big game. And they don't get any bigger or more interesting than this! Ciao!" He moved away.
"That guy is stealthy enough to give a Supertrooper lessons," Shane bristled.
"He gives me the creeps," Doc agreed. "But there is one thing about him. He despises the Board of Leaders as much as you do Gooseman."
"Hmph," Shane folded his arms. "He just sees them as a way to make money and power."
"Look I don't like this either Gooseman but we have a job to do and to make sure that nothing goes wrong," Zach told him.
"WHOOPIEEEE!" An alien with tentacles ran across the ceiling.
"So much for that happening," Doc grumbled. "I think I recognize that guy. His kid did the same thing when he had too much sugar that time we baby sat those kids at the pizza parlor before we blew it up."
"We didn't blow it up," Niko said. "Zachery and Goose blew it up. I wasn't even there."
"Right rub it in," Zach sighed.
"That little pink bird was right! This dip is squishy!" Another drunken alien laughed.
"Oh boy…" Shane groaned. "Sounds like Bubblehead strikes again!"
"I'll help," Niko agreed as they went to track down the stray memory bird.
"I'd better try to pry the ambassador off the ceiling," Zach grumbled. "If he's anything like his kid this is going to be a chore."
Doc chuckled as his friend left. He saw Commander Walsh in dress uniform nearby. "Happy New Year Commander!"
"What's so happy about it?" Walsh grumbled. "I hate it when BETA hosts parties. There's always a fight. Half the ambassadors get drunk and try to start wars with the other half. Three senators already passed out dead drunk and one threw up in another ambassador's lap. Two senators' wives caught their husbands cheating with another woman and one of the wives tried to set the other woman on fire!"
"Not to mention Ambassador Domani is still a bit miffed at you after that whole debacle at the restaurant a few months ago," Doc added. "Commander would you mind a little advice?"
"Unless it's how to sober up all these lunatics I don't want to hear it!" Walsh snapped. "I hate this time of year!"
"I love this time of year," Cain smiled as he walked up to Doc and Walsh. "I've already negotiated five separate contracts for future endeavors."
"In other words you blackmailed five different people to get more power and influence," Walsh bristled.
"Actually only four," Cain smiled. "One of the idiots made two really big mistakes in a row. Oh by the way one of Whiener's aids is smoking something illegal with the ambassador from that planet with all the mushrooms in the men's room. Just think of it as a late Christmas present."
"I will take care of that myself," Walsh grumbled. "Ironically the air around them will probably be cleaner than the air around you!" He stormed away.
"I love you too, Joey!" Cain called out.
"I'm just curious about something," Doc gave him a look. "What happened between the two of you to hate each other so much?"
"Recently or do you want to whole list?" Cain asked. "Sorry my boy that is a tale for another time. Besides I think I found something more interesting to watch."
"Lishen," Wheiner hiccupped to a buxom blonde woman in a skimpy evening dress. "Did you know there are over two hundred alien planets in the League and almost all of 'em celebrates a New Year's Eve on different nights? (Hic!) That's like a party almost every day of the week! I should have been Earth's ambassador! Why couldn't I get that job?"
"Because you are a drunken idiot," Cain gave him a look.
"Shaddap Cain," Wheiner snapped. Then turned his attention to the lovely young woman. "So what are you doing later?"
"Later?" The woman blinked. "Gee I dunno. I got a bit of a cough. But I don't know if it's a cold or alcohol related. See I kind of cough sometimes when I drink too much! (HIC!) There it goes again. Do you know where there's a doctor around to take a look at my chest."
"It's like a drunken fish shooting an even more drunken fish in a barrel," Doc groaned. "I want to look away but I can't."
"Sounds healthy to me…" Wheiner put his head down on her bosom. Then screamed as his ear was viciously yanked by a wealthy looking woman with white hair. "OWWWW!"
"ERIC!" Mrs. Wheiner screamed.
"The one time she's not drunk…" Wheiner hissed. "Figures! Excuse me! Gotta go!" He fled for his life.
"COME BACK HERE YOU DRUNKEN PHILANDERER!" Mrs. Wheiner shouted.
"This is fun!" Cain smiled. "Dinner and a show! I have got to see how this turns out!" He went off to watch the madness.
Walsh staggered back to Doc. "You don't want to know what was going on in the men's lavatory! Let's just say I had to send a whole security force just to take them down to the brig to cool them off!"
"Speaking of cooling off," Doc said. "Now is a good time for you to try and make up with Ambassador Domani."
"Hartford the day I need advice on my love life from the likes of you…" Walsh snapped.
"Joseph!" Ambassador Domani walked up to him. She gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Maggie?" Walsh blinked.
"That was for the lovely flowers and the so thoughtful card," She smiled. "You remembered that carnations and orchids are my favorite flowers."
"I did?" Walsh blinked again. "I mean…Yes, I did," He gave Doc a look.
"The Commander was just telling me how much he really appreciates a lovely and patient woman like you," Doc spoke up, ignoring the looks Walsh was giving him. "I have to admit that we at BETA are a rowdy bunch and it takes a strong hand to keep discipline around here. I mean if it wasn't for the Commander this place would go insane!"
"Conga! Conga! Conga!" Bubblehead chirped as he flew over a conga line of aliens and senators. It also included Buzzwang in sunglasses and a bright orange jacket with sequins.
"WHO BROUGHT CHAINSAWS TO THIS PARTY?" Zachery was heard shouting. "AND STOP JUGGLING THEM!"
"Are you saying that BETA would be more insane than this?" Domani raised an eyebrow.
"Uh hard to believe but…" Commander Walsh gulped. Then his private communicator went on. "Excuse me I have to take this call." He put a receiver in his ear and listened into the incoming transmission.
"NO THROWING FOOD!" Zach shouted to the drunken revelers. "CUT THAT OUT! AND YOU GET OFF THE CEILING!"
"I am beginning to see why Joseph has very little time for me," Domani grumbled.
"You should have been here last New Year's Eve," Doc smirked.
"Great some drunken idiot just took off with his girlfriend in an interceptor!" Walsh snapped. "I have to go!" He stormed off.
"But Joseph? JOSEPH!" Domani yelled. Fuming she stormed off in the other direction.
"This job certainly isn't helping the Commander's love life," Doc sighed.
"ALL RIGHT! WHO'S THROWING RUBBER CHICKENS AT ME? I WANT IT STOPPED NOW!" Zachery shouted. "FOR GOD'S SAKE AMBASSADOR PUTENELL PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON AND GET OFF THE CHANDELIER!"
"On the other hand it seems to distract Zachery from his problems," Doc quipped as he went to help his friend.
Meanwhile Shane and Niko were in the corner on the other side of the large banquet room. "Where could that dumb bird be? Not that it matters. Hard to believe that he's the least of our problems at this stupid party. I hate these things."
"I suppose Supertroopers didn't celebrate the New Year," Niko said.
"It was just another day to us," Shane admitted. "The only difference was that we survived another year. I hate to say it but I still feel that way."
"Can't say I blame you. A lot has happened this year," Niko nodded.
"Yeah we saved the world a couple of times, uncovered couple secret conspiracies," Shane counted off. "I found out I had relatives I never dreamed of…And one of 'em I wish I never found out about."
"I take it you mean Skoll?" Niko gave him a look.
"Yeah I'm just glad I don't have to deal with that bastard any time soon. But I dunno…I just have a feeling that this next year isn't going to get any easier," Shane sighed. "That's why I have to work harder, get stronger and find ways to…Well, to bring justice for not only the Supertroopers, but your family too. I promise Niko, I won't forget what's been done to both of us. And I'll do whatever I can to right what's been wronged."
"Those sound like resolutions," Niko observed.
"I guess you could call them that," Shane smiled. "Maybe Supertroopers aren't so different from humans after all?"
"But darling…" Wheiner hiccupped as his wife backed him into a corner. "It's not what you think! I only wanted to have sex with her…Oh wait it is what you think…"
"On the other hand…" Shane blinked as his wife clobbered him with a left hook. "Not even Kilbane is dumb enough to do that!"
"THAT IS IT ERIC! I'M TIRED OF YOU CHEATING ON ME AND IGNORING ME!" Mrs. Wheiner screamed. By now a great number of people were watching.
"Not to mention hiding half is money in a secret account so you can't get any," Shane called out.
"HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?" Wheiner snapped.
"I didn't," Shane smiled. "Lucky guess."
"Gooseman…OWWWWW!" Wheiner yelled.
"You lying! Cheating! No good! I have had it! I am sick of it!" Mrs. Wheiner started beating up her husband. "I hate you! I hate you!"
"Rangers Niko and Gooseman do something before she kills me!" Wheiner screamed as he tried to protect himself but without much luck.
"Good idea," Shane grinned. He turned and called out to the audience. "Excuse me please! Mrs. Eric Wheiner is thinking of divorcing her extremely wealthy husband because he's constantly cheating on her. Is there a divorce attorney in the house?"
Suddenly a dozen people started clamoring towards them. "Out of my way! Get out of my way! I'm the best one to represent her! Me! No me! ME!" Before anyone knew it many of the lawyers were fighting each other.
"Mrs. Wheiner if you ever do pick an attorney I have some pictures I can sell you for a reasonable price," Commander Cain called out. "The ones your husband went on that so called 'business trip' to Cancun!"
"WHEINER!" Walsh stormed up to them. "Stop making a spectacle of yourself! Your daughter is under arrest for trying to joyride in an interceptor! She crashed it into three other ships before she could get it out of the hanger!"
"Now this is a great way to start off the New Year," Shane grinned.