Title : If Only, If Only

Author : meh

Rating : Er.. G, PG..maybe

Disclaimer : I do not own Harry, Ron, Hermione, Cho, the Gryffindor Common room or Voldemort. J.K. Rowling does. That is why she is rich and I have 2 pennys to my name.

Warning : Hermion dies, ((What? I hate the brat. I HATE Snape/Hermione fanfiction. It will die.))
Pairing : Ron/Hermione/Harry

Genre : Angst; Romance

Author's Notes : This is for my non-slashy friend Katherin

Summery : Ron and Harry both Love Hermione. But they can't both have her. Its from Harry's point of veiw, Harry musing on his life and how if only it wasn't him as the boy who lived...

We've fought for over 2 years over her, and I knew Ron loved her more than I. Her grace and beauty.. well.. I can't lie. She lacked beauty to some extent, but she was very intellegent, something Cho Chang would never have.

Ron, at one point, fought me for her. In the Gryffindor Common Room. In front of everyone. And she just sat there, like a deer-in-headlights, not stopping us, but not supporting either one of us. I can't say I love her more than Ron. The thought has occured to me, however, that I feel I'm losing my two best friends. I feel excluded. I feel.. hurt.

Its not like.. like it was before. Before it was nice. Now there is hugging and kissing and giggling and competeing. And who am I to question what goes on behind closed doors? I love them both to death and I'd love to give Ron way but.. I don't want to lose them both.

The day of the final battle came as a horrific shock to us both. Myself and Ron. Not only did we lose our love and best friend in the flash of a green light, but she called to us in her last moments. She called out to us, in a scream, in a yell, as her pale body fell to the floor.

Of course, Ron was the first to rush over. He casted a angry glare toward me, as if I had killed her. But... I mean.. he could be right.. I could've stopped Voldemort, but I didn't. Not soon enough.

Our friend, our order member, she just left us so soon. Her parting words are burned into my mind, even in a old age I'll never forget them. It was like everything was in slow motion and she had time to get out everthing she needed to.

What she screamed was merly a 'Harry! Ron!' But the look in her eyes.. the chocolate brown eyes before they shut to never be re-opened. It was heartbreaking, but it told the truth.

I had wanted to see her again, I'd thought she'd come back. Sirius didn't though.. My love'd ones get close and then they are gone. Which is why Ron is ignoring me. Which is why he didn't come to see the funeral.

Its all my fault she died. And she loved him more than me, and thats my fault to. Nothing goes right in my life.

If Only Neville had been the boy-who-lived.

If Only I'd Save'd Hermione.

If Only Voldemort didn't come back.

If Only... If Only...

If Only...If Only....... If only it wasn't my fault.