A/N: This takes place before Regionals and before Karofsky. I own nothing.
"Everyone, Finn has an announcement," Mr. Shuester interrupted the chatter going on in the choir room. Everyone stopped talking to listen to what their friend and co-leader had to say. A nervous smile was tugging at Finn's lips as he stood beside his teacher. This was the biggest news he's ever given before.
"I uh…" Finn looked at Mr. Shuester for support. The Spanish teacher who has grown to become a father figure for the boy clapped his hand on Finn's shoulder. That brought the smile fully out and Finn faced his friends again; all of them were watching him anxiously. He can see the worry in Rachel's eyes, the confusion in Puck's, the excitement in Brittany's, the encouragement from Sam, and a half concerned, half amused parted lips from Quinn. These were his people; his family. Finn can tell them anything. "I got into Ohio State!" Finn laughed when the words came out. It took a few seconds for everyone to register what he said, but once they did, they all attacked him with hugs and questions.
"What? I didn't even know you still applied!" Rachel was the only one that didn't get up to hug her fiancé. They had a plan, didn't they? They were going to move to New York and she'd be a star. Rachel sort of understands this though; Finn's always wanted to go to Ohio State, and he was ready to move across the country just so Rachel could fulfill her dream. Why can't he?
"I almost didn't, but then Quinn convinced me to." Finn looked to his side and saw Quinn beaming up at him with pride. Quinn; this is all thanks to her.
"Finn, are you sure you want to go to New York?" Quinn had snuck up to Finn's side in the hallway after Rachel left. Even though Finn gave his girlfriend a smile and agreed to all her plans about them being in New York together, Quinn could see right through it. There was no real excitement in Finn's eyes; he had no spark when it came to New York. Knowing he couldn't lie to Quinn—he never could—Finn sighed and closed his locker. They both leaned against the shut, blue lockers while everyone else filed out of the hallway.
"I don't know," Finn scratched at the back of his head. He didn't want to upset Rachel but it was the truth.
"Yes you do," Quinn gave him a nod. A second later, she gave him a little smile and poked him in the stomach, making him laugh, "What does that Hudson Gut tell you?" Finn's smile is upset; it nearly breaks Quinn's heart. She doesn't want to see him just going through the motions. She's felt that feeling before; he has no clue what he's going to do with his life or even what he wants to do. That's how Quinn felt when she found out she was pregnant; she even feels that now thinking about her majoring at Yale.
"It tells me…" Finn sighed deeply again before looking her in the eye, "That I don't want to go to New York."
"I had a feeling," Quinn shrugged it off, making him smile for real this time. "Why aren't you telling Rachel this?"
"She has so many plans for us. I don't want to disappoint her," Finn leaned his back against the lockers and closed his eyes. Tipping his head back until it touched the cold metal, he tried to picture a life in New York with Rachel. All he saw was him sitting around an empty apartment while Rachel was off becoming a star. "I feel…trapped."
"You didn't before," Quinn pointed out, mimicking his motions by leaning her back against the lockers. Their fingers were just an inch apart from each other. Quinn wanted so badly to grab his hand in hers, but she knew she couldn't; not even as a friend. "You used to tell me all the time about how you wanted to play for the best football college in the country," She nudged his arm with her elbow. "You have a poster of Ohio Stadium in your room, Finn. You said you knew you were going to be a Buckeye since you could first hold a football." The memories of Finn and Quinn talking about their futures in his room at night consumed him; they'd talk until early hours of the morning, whether it was because Quinn couldn't sleep or just because they wanted to. Finn felt comfort in having Quinn there to listen about his dreams.
"Yeah, but that was different," Finn finally opened his eyes to see her staring up at him with a frown.
"Why?" she rested just one shoulder on the lockers so she can cross her arms over her chest and stare him down.
"Because that was when I thought that I'd be living in an Ohio State dorm with…" he was about to say 'you and Beth' but he knew it would only bring trouble. Finn finds himself thinking about that little girl more than he thinks he should; he just can't stop himself. He'll always love Beth; his Drizzle, whether he's her real father or not. And when he does picture himself raising Beth, there's always the blond girl beside him there too, not Rachel. It makes Finn feel selfish, but he can't help it. For months, Finn had thought that he was going to have a family; a daughter. You can't just let that go once you have it; it's impossible to stop loving a child…and your first love.
"…without Cooter telling me that I had 'reached my ceiling'," Finn rolled his eyes. Quinn scuffed and punched his arm lightly.
"Screw, Cooter the recruiter!" Quinn scuffed and punched his arm lightly, making Finn chuckle. "You're Finn freakin' Hudson! The only guy to actually win McKinley any football games. You took us to the championship and won it! When you play football, you're up stoppable and it's the happiest I've ever seen you! Who cares what one damn recruiter says. He can't be the only one with a voice, can he?" Quinn huffed with frustration. Seeing her get all riled up because of his situation made him smile. It warmed his heart in a way it shouldn't and before he knew what he was doing, he kissed her cheek lightly.
"What was that for?" Quinn couldn't help but smile. Finn stared at the ground shyly and shrugged.
"I don't know…for believing in me. It means a lot to me, Quinn."
A bright smile spread across her face, lighting up the area, "Don't mention it, Hudson. Now go prove Cooter wrong and get your Buckeye jersey before they give it to some undeserving loser." Quinn started to walk away, leaving Finn amazed and happy for the first time in a while.
"What would I do without you?" Finn asked with a little smirk. Quinn turned around to face him but kept walking backwards. She gave him a playful smirk.
"Crash and Burn." With a wink, she sprinted off to her class right as the bell rang.
The thought of going against Rachel's wishes and going against Cooter's say by applying to Ohio State both scared Finn and excited him. He'd be lying if he said he didn't want to be a Buckeye football player anymore; hell, he'd even settle for just a Buckeye student. Finn's been dreaming about this since he was ten and after one person said he wasn't good enough, he threw in the towel. That isn't who Finn is; why would he do that? No; he's not going to do that anymore. He knows he can do this. All he needed was to know that someone believed in him too.
"I went down to one of the coaches' houses last month and asked him to come see me and the guys playing football on Saturday like we always do," Finn explained to everyone. He still had his arms wrapped around Brittany and Quinn's shoulders and Puck's hand on his shoulder.
"What?" Sam frowned with confusion. "Why didn't you tell us?" Mike and Puck obviously didn't know either. The other guys that they knew from Sports Camp over the years had no idea too.
"Because I didn't want you guys playing bad just to make me look good," Finn clapped his hand onto Sam's shoulder. Sam shrugged; it made sense and the guys always take these games seriously even thought they are just for fun. "I must have been good enough for the coach because he sent me an application personally a few days later."
"Finn, that's great!" The groups said at once. Finn laughed as everyone formed a group hug around him. From his height, he can see Rachel mopping at her seat. Finn pulled away from everyone and went to his fiancé; he wanted her to be okay with this. Taking her by the hands, Finn made Rachel look up at him.
"Please don't be mad about this,"
"I'm not mad," Rachel gave him a small smile, "I'm really happy for you; I just wish you would have told me. I would have been okay with it, and I would have come to see you play to support you,"
"See, that's kind of why I didn't tell the guys," Finn chuckled and rubbed the tops of her hands with his thumbs. "if you came, you would have been cheering way too hard and probably go up to the coach and talk up a storm for me."
"True," Rachel laughed with him. She wrapped her arms around Finn's chest and hugged him tight, "I really am proud of you."
"Thank you," he gave the top of her head a kiss before pulling her away at arm's length to look at her, "We'll talk about what we're going to do later, okay? For now can we just celebrate?"
"Of course; my fiancé's a Buckner!" Rachel said brightly. Finn tried not to laugh.
"Buckeye."
"Right, that's what I meant." With a chuckle, Finn leaned down and captured her lips in a kiss. While Rachel kissed back and everyone else celebrated by themselves, Quinn watched the happy couple. She couldn't help but feel jealous and cheated; it was because of her that Finn got this far. Not to sound selfish, but it's true. And now Rachel's getting all the praise from him when she did nothing at all? With tearful eyes, Quinn fled from the room. She's sure no one would notice.
Once in her car, Quinn started to cry heavily. She did so much for Finn; she wanted him to get his dream and be happy. Just then, her cell phone rang in her purse. Quinn fished it out, cleared her throat of tears and answered, trying to sound chipper instead of sad. "Hello?"
"Ms. Fabray? This is Coach Urban Meyer from Ohio State," oh, dear god, Quinn sniffed and shut her eyes. This is the coach that watched Finn play. "I assume you heard that your friend Finn Hudson made it into Ohio State," He said nicely. Quinn couldn't help but smile at the sentence; Finn was accepted. That's all that mattered; not who got him there or who he decides to celebrate with…no matter if it is Rachel Berry.
"Yes, I did. It's incredible, thank you."
"Don't thank me," he laughed, "I should be thanking you. Cooter was obviously wrong when he turned down that poor; he's got some real talent and leadership skills,"
"Yup, that's Finn," Quinn tried to sound happy enough to make a laugh. It came out weak, but at least she could manage a small chuckle.
"Well, what really caught my and the Deans was your letter of recommendation," Quinn was hoping Coach Meyer wouldn't mention that. Fresh tears stung Quinn's eyes at the thought of her letter, "It was very heartfelt and inspiring. I can tell that a lot of people have faith in Finn, and that he has a good support system."
"There are a lot of people that really love him," Quinn looked down at her lap. It's true; a lot of people do love Finn…especially her.
"Your writing was incredible. Have you ever considered going into Literature?" Honestly, Quinn hasn't. She wasn't trying to write well; she was just trying to right down exactly why she thinks Finn deserves this more than anyone else. She wrote about all he's gone through with the truth about his father, and Carol's new marriage and how Finn was always there for everyone he cared about; she wrote about how he cared for her child, because it was true. He did care for her and her child; it didn't matter if the child wasn't born, Finn was there for Quinn.
Quinn's breath was shaky as she answered, "No, not really; but thank you for the compliment."
"You're very welcome. I just thought you would want to know that I'm planning on calling Finn tonight and asking him to come up to Ohio State to show the other coaches and players what he's got this weekend. I think we defiantly have a placement for him." Quinn smiled with shock.
"That's-That's incredible! Thank you, thank you so much! You won't regret that!"
"I know I won't. Congratulate your boyfriend for me, Ms. Fabray. Have a good day."
"Oh, he's not my…" Quinn was about to correct him when she realized it didn't matter. "I will. Thanks, again. Bye." Quinn hung up before Meyer could say another word. The fact that from just a letter, the man thought that Quinn was with Finn really said something. Quinn felt foolish for writing her heart out on paper for a total stranger, just to have Rachel get all the praise.
Quinn whipped her face clear of tears and took her keys out of her purse. She was about to turn on the car when she heard someone tap her passenger window. Jumping at the sound, Quinn clutched onto the steering wheel and stared at the glass. Luckily, it was a familiar face, not a stranger trying to murder her. Unfortunately, that person was Finn.
Not wanting to be rude, Quinn unlocked the passenger door and allowed Finn to get into the car. He had a bright smile on his face as he sat facing her. "Hey! You sort of disappeared on me there,"
"Sorry," Quinn tried to smile but she knew he can see the tear tracks on her cheeks. Wanting to distract him from that fact, Quinn chuckled and held up her phone in her hand. "Hey, you're never going to guess who I just got a call from."
"Um…Morgan Freeman?" Quinn laughed at the guess; she remembers Finn's love for Morgan Freeman movies. He says he thinks Morgan is one of the wisest people on earth and admits to watching his global show on the TV.
"Nope, but good try," Quinn sat so she was facing him. She wanted to give the news while meeting his eye; he deserved that much. "Coach Urban Meyer!" She said excitedly. It took a little bit for Finn to register what she said. When he did, his eyes widened slowly and a smile spread on his face.
"What? Seriously?"
"Yeah!"
"Wait…" Finn frowned and sat with his back against the seat. "Did he change his mind?" Finn shut his eyes, unable to think about if that happened. He'd feel terrible.
"Of course not," Quinn held onto his arm and gave it a shake to make him feel better. "Quite the opposite actually."
"How?" Finn opened his eyes and looked at her. His eyes had that spark that it lacked before. That was what Quinn wanted; that's what makes Quinn really happy now.
"He wants you to come down to Ohio State this weekend to show them what you've got. You could get a spot, Finn!" Quinn's eyes glistened with tears, but out of pride. Finn couldn't manage words because of the shock.
"Are you serious? Quinn, don't lie to me!" Quinn laughed and held onto his arm tighter with both her hands.
"He's calling you tonight. You did it, Finn!" Quinn couldn't help it; she threw her arms around him into a hug. Finn hugged her back slowly, only because he was so stunned. She can feel him laugh and then hold onto her tightly.
"Oh my god; I can't…that's incredible." Finn pulled away from her to get a look at her face. He gave her a sweet smile and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. "Thank you."
"Now what did I say?" Quinn placed her hand on her hip. "Don't mention it, Hudson." Finn rolled his eyes but smiled.
"Yeah, yeah," He once again gave her cheek a kiss, but this time it lingered. Quinn couldn't help but flush at the touch. Finn could tell he wasn't supposed to do that; he was surprised that he even did that. He pulled away slowly, wanting to feel her longer. Their noses were just barely brushing when he looked her in the eye. Her beautiful hazel eyes that hold hope and faith in him. It's enough to make Finn's smile shake emotionally. "I don't know how to thank you, Quinn; you've done…so much for me. Why?"
"Why?" She repeated, mesmerized by his brown eyes. Finn gave a short nod, making their noses brush. A shiver went down Quinn's spine but she shook it off with a smile, "Because I don't know anyone else who deserves more to be happy." It was the honest truth and it made Finn smile brightly.
"I can think of someone."
"One step at a time, Finn, one step at a time," Quinn laughs. She watches as his eyes drop down to her lips. That's when Quinn realizes that they're in too deep now. In the next few moments, they could ruin everything they built up. Their friendship, her friendship with Rachel, his relationship with Rachel…it can all go downhill because they gave in to each other.
That's why Quinn is the one to sit back. Finn couldn't help but feel disappointed at her moving away from him, but when he thinks about it again, he knows she was right. They shouldn't even be thinking of kissing each other. He shouldn't even be in the car. Finn gives her a fake, shaky smile and touched the car handle with his hand. Quinn holds her breath as he gives her hand a squeeze. "Thanks again, Q."
Quinn almost damn near cries right in front of him, but holds it in for a few more seconds, "No problem, Finn." It's only when he's out of the car and she can see him half way down the parking lot that she starts sobbing all over again. He doesn't even know; that's what kills her.
Finn doesn't even know about her recommendation letter—he didn't even question why Meyer would have called her of all people. Finn didn't even know that they knew each other—and he doesn't know how much she still loves him.
'You need to get over this, Quinn. Get over him already. It's been three years; times up. You've lost him, get used to It.' she thinks to herself as she controls her cries. She holds her face in her hands with one last gasp.
Quinn is still fighting off sobs as she starts her car. She can't help but speed out of the parking lot, both with sadness and because it's starting to downpour outside. The streets become hard to see through, but Quinn doesn't stop her car. She's still sobbing when she's halfway home and at a stop light. 'You're going to Yale, and he'll go to Ohio State and you'll both live happily ever after…just not with each other.' The red light shines through the rain, stinging her tearful eyes. Quinn shuts them tightly and tries to calm herself down. She doesn't even realize that her foot is slowly pushing on the gas pedal and that her car is moving forward. It's not until she hears a loud car horn in her ear and hears the crunch of colliding metal that she regrets ever leaving the parking lot.
The last thing she thinks about as a pain rushes through her and the sound of cars honking overwhelms her is a picture of Finn in a Ohio State uniform, smiling and running a touchdown, making everyone love him and his talent.
When the ambulances get to the wreck, they find the girl in the destroyed car with her eyes closed, tears rolling down her cheeks and a sad smile on her face. They check to see if she's breathing and begin to pry her out of the car.
She's smiling; because Quinn's on that field with him. Because she's the one that put him there.