I didn't want it to be over.
When she sat next to me, I tried to hard to keep up my front with her. I couldn't let her get to me. She looked at me, and she knew I was hurting. I was, but not for the reason everyone else thought I was. Sure, I was pregnant and Finn just found out that it wasn't his baby, but that wasn't my problem. My problem was her. She kept coming into my life at the most inconvenient of times. I didn't know what to say when she showed up. She was always there though, whether it was to say hello, or to tell me that I was doing something wrong, she'd be there. She tried to help me though all of these years. She would look at me and I would look at her, and she would tell me that I was so brave, and how she wanted to be just like me. I would laugh, and tell her that she didn't want to be anything like me.
She would look at me with those big brown eyes of her, and she would tell me that I would figure everything out eventually. It always ended that way. When I was pregnant, she was the first to know. When she found out who the father was, she told me things would work out eventually. When I got kicked out, the same. Thoughout my life, it was always the same response to everything I had faced.
But now things were different. She stared at me, telling me one more time that things would get better. I was in a wheelchair. I was in a car crash. How could things get better for me? I would look at her with the same bitter look. "How is it going to work out this time, Rachel?" I asked, my eyes looking sad at her.
She would only shake her head and smile softly. "Everything will work out eventually."
The next day, I didn't see her at school. She was probably sick or something. I hated when she was gone, though. I needed her here. She was my guardian angel that told me right from wrong, and how things would look better on the other side. I believed her.
Two weeks go by, nothing.
Three.
Four.
The news finally broke the halls of McKinley the following week. Rachel Berry disappeared, and her body was found five weeks later. I don't think I've cried that hard in years. I didn't want to accept the fact that Rachel was gone, and that I didn't have anyone to tell me that everything would work out eventually. How were things supposed to work out, if my guardian angel was gone?
I sat on my bench, not letting anyone get close to me. I yelled at Puck, growled at Finn, and any other person that challenged my peace. I was waiting, waiting for Rachel to magically appear next to me, telling me how things would work out. It was a sick joke, really.
Two weeks later, she appeared. It wasn't long. I knew I was crazy, but I didn't think I was this crazy. I looked at her, and I broke down. She looked at me as she reached out her hand and placed it on top of mine. "You're going to be okay, Quinn," she whispered, before disappearing.
I would try and do anything I could see her again. When Prom came up, I waited to see if someone would try and use her name for the write-in slot on the ballot. I cried when I saw her name. I was still a mess. I picked out a violet dress, before slipping on the Gardenia wristlet. As a memory from her from junior year. I knew she picked it out. I always knew.
She appeared at prom, wearing a pink dress. She looked at me and walked away. I followed her into the bathroom.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked, grabbing a tissue to stop my already present tears.
She would only give me that smile, before shaking her head. "You need me, Quinn. You need me and I need to be here. I want to be here for you."
"But—"
"I can only visit you when I am given the chance to," she whispered.
"Don't leave me, please.." I whimpered, seeing her vanish before my eyes yet again.
I couldn't live without her, and as hard as it was to admit it, I knew it. I was in love with Rachel Berry, the dead girl.