Merr: Hello! First fic in a while.
Alla: HELLO.
Merr: Alla's kinda weird today…
Alla:…no.
Merr: Anyways, here you go! If you don't know how our minds work, well…every character is totally different from whatever anyone else thinks they're like. You'll see when we go into the story…
DISCLAIMER: We don't own SSBB, nor do we own the other kids. But if we did, it would be cool…
A Day at the Office
Zelda filed her nails, sighing. This was the lamest job ever, according to her. Being a secretary for Super Smash Brothers, Inc. was the worst job you could have. You either were busy, or not busy at all. Zelda, no matter what day it was, was never busy. She didn't work at all.
Mario looked out of his door window, and then looked at Luigi. "Luigi," he started, annoyed, "What are we going to do about Zelda!? She never does anything."
Luigi shrugged. "I do not know, Mario…maybe we could get another secretary?"
"NO, no, that cost money, and Bowser and Master Hand would not like that at all," Mario said. "I wonder what they are up to anyway?"
Somewhere, far away, Bowser said, "Master Hand, your up."
The giant hand grabbed a bowling ball and aimed carefully. He sat the ball on the floor and flicked it hard. "OH YES," he said, "TURKEY, I GOT A TURKEY"
"Oh, Master Hand," Bowser said, smiling and waving his hand around.
"No, they don't know how to bowl," Luigi muttered. "Well, tell her to work."
Mario got over the intercom, and said sweetly, "Zeldaaa! Please stop filing your nails and work! Thank you!"
Zelda huffed, starting to type as everyone in there cubicles giggled and sniggered.
In the back of the office, Captain Falcon and Ganondorf were not working hard either. In fact, the captain and the dark king were talking about a race they were going to see that night.
"…and Wallace will be great tonight too," Capt. Falcon said, smiling enthusiastically.
"I don't think so," Ganon hummed. "I think that Rick Jonson'll do a better job at those turns."
"Jonson? That guy's an amateur." The captain ran a hand through his brown hair, getting it out of his face. "Wallace'll kill that kid."
"Whatever, man," Ganon said, smiling. His confidence made Capt. Falcon roll his eyes and go back to his post at the phones.
"…No, we don't sell that here…no, we're not a TV show. You can buy a game if that suits your fancy…well, I don't think your mother wants you to talk about me in that way. You can SHOVE IT!" Ike slammed the phone down, huffing.
Marth looked over at him, and then went around to his cubicle. He leaned against the wall. "What's wrong, Ike?"
"Dumbass people, that's what's wrong," Ike growled.
Marth rested his head on Ike's, saying, "Calm down, Ike. It'll be fine."
Ike smiled slightly at Marth's slight Japanese accent. "Oh, alright, babe."
"Don't call me 'babe', Ike," Marth said, suddenly annoyed. "Call me Marth, or Prince, okay?"
"God, you're so high and mighty," Ike mumbled, going back to his job. Marth just snorted and walked away.
Pit walked past. "HAY GUYS," he said loudly, causing Marth and Ike to look up, and Ike to gag slightly (he was sensitive to Pit's loud, obnoxiously gay voice). "How are you guys!?" he asked. "I'm upset that I got moved from over here. I loved talking to you guys…now I sit with Lucario and Snake…It's weird and scary!"
"Well," Marth said, steering him away from the near vomiting Ike, "we miss you too." He placed Pit back in his seat, and then sped off, going back to his cubicle.
Samus walked in. "Hey, guys!" she announced. Everyone waved from their cubicle. "Hey, Zelda," she said, smiling.
"Hey, Samus!" Zelda said happily. She sat up straight. "How are you?"
"I'm good," she said, tugging at her tee shirt. "Unemployment is kinda boring…but I found a few jobs that will be good for me."
"What about your bounty hunting?" Zelda asked. "Aren't you gonna do that?"
"I will if I have to, but I really don't want to leave the city again. I might be a policewoman or something…I want to settle down," she admitted, looking down.
Zelda smiled knowingly. "I know you have been looking," she said. "I noticed. Have you found anyone?"
Samus shrugged. "Not yet," she said. "Ever since Marth turned gay, it's been kinda hard judging whether the guy is gay or not. I don't have spectacular gaydar," she added, smiling.
Zelda looked back. "You see that guy back there?" she asked, pointing to Ike. He was wondering around aimlessly. Samus nodded. "Well, he's gay."
"Oh," Samus said. "I didn't know."
"It's hard to tell with him," Zelda admitted. "Anyways, what did you bring me?"
Samus smiled. "Well, I brought some homemade hamburgers and fries. I don't have much money, so I can't bring you lobster like I used to."
"At least it's homemade," Zelda said, reaching into the brown bag and biting into the hamburger. She hummed in approval. "If you can't get a job, I'll give you one as my chef…this is good!"
Samus giggled. "Thanks. Well, I have an interview. I'll see you later!" She left. Zelda sighed. After there was no room in the office, the only job that Samus had was the fights she was included in on the weekends for Brawl. That didn't make much, so Master Hand invented the Inc, where the Brawlers could sell the games they came from, and Brawl, for a great price. Zelda was the secretary, and she hated it. "At least," She thought to herself, "I'm not in the mailroom with all the kids who can't speak English or Hylian."
She went back to filing her nails after lunch.
"Come on, Squirtle! Don't give up now! File those papers!" Kaemon, the Pokemon Trainer, encouraged his three Pokemon, Squirtle sighed, sorting papers. Kirby looked around, setting up the cart for the after-lunch mail delivery. Meta Knight helped him, not wanting to sort mail anymore. Pikachu waited around for the cart to be done.
Kaemon looked at Pikachu. "So," he said, "How's Ash?"
"Pika pika," Pikachu said, waving his hand.
"He's good? Well, that's nice…CHARIZARD! Don't slack off! We need those stacked ASAP!" Charizard mumbled something, but kept on doing what he was supposed to.
"Pika, pika pi pikachu," Pikachu said.
"He should be getting out of school soon? Well, that's great! I should ask…do you want to have dinner with us tonight?"
"Pi," Pikachu said.
"Oh, okay," Kaemon said sadly. "We'll eat with you guys another time. Ms. Ketchum making good food tonight?"
Pikachu nodded, rubbing his stomach. Kaemon laughed heartily.
Kirby said, struggling for the right words, "The, um…cart is…red."
"Ready?" Kaemon corrected.
Kirby was flustered. "OH! Yes…ready…"
"Great!" Kaemon looked at Pikachu. "Go, Pikachu, deliver that mail!"
"Pikachu!" Pikachu said, smiling as he rolled out. He walked up with the cart to everyone, smiling happily when they recived their mail.
Link grabbed his mail, saying, "Thanks, Pikachu." He opened one crimson tinted envelope and saw a letter from his nephew, Toon Link. He read it and then threw it away, grabbing a pen and writing him back in Hylian.
Marth walked by, and then stopped. "What are you writing?"
"I'm writing in Hylian," Link said, looking up. "It's kinda of like when you write in Japanese."
"Oh, okay. What does it say?"
"I'm just telling my nephew that it's great that he is doing so well in sword class, and lecturing him on the importance of bowing horseback." He scratched the top of his hat. "He's a bad listener, and his horse is too. Nothing like Epona, I hear."
"Um…okay then," Marth said, backing away. "You have fun there…" He walked away.
Zelda glanced over her nails at Link. She smirked. How silly he looked, writing in Hylian. She was sure she never looked like that when she wrote to her father. He scratched his head again, and looked up. He waved casually at Zelda, who smiled. He blushed and looked away. She giggled and turned back around.
Soon, it was the end of a long, hard working day. Ash Ketchum walked in, saying hello to Zelda before going straight back to the mailroom. "Pikachu!" he said loudly in his raspy voice.
"Pika!" Pikachu said, running to him and hugging him tightly.
Kaemon smiled as he collected his Pokemon. "How are you and the crew?"
"We're fine," Ash said, smiling. "Brock says hello, and he wants to hit the bars with you. That's what he told me. Misty sends her regards too."
"Cool," Kaemon said. "I'll call Brock later. You two have fun, and I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye!" Ash said.
"Pikachu!" Pikachu said to Squirtle, Charizard, and Ivysaur. They said their goodbyes back, and then left with Kaemon soon after. Link stood up, stretching.
"I'm leaving!" he announced.
"Me too," Snake said, walking past.
Mario and Luigi came out of their office. "Great job today, guys!" Mario said. "We will see you tomorrow! You all can leave."
"Good," Marth and Ike said, walking out hand in hand. Capt. Falcon and Ganon sped out also, hopping into Falcon's car and speeding to the races. Zelda walked outside and saw Samus in her car. "Wanna ride home?" she asked. Zelda smiled and hopped in.
Mario was the last to leave. He smiled at the empty office before shutting off the light and walking away. Donkey Kong opened the door, humming, and started to clean. He was the night janitor, after all.
Merr: THE END.
Alla:…shut up.
Merr: So there you have it! You can review if you like. We're gonna eat some quesadillas, so if you review, you can have some!
Alla: This story is awesome. REVIEW!
Merr: Don't force them…