BEYOND THE VEIL

Padfoot's Story.

Part 1:

"Sirius!"

Sirius opened his eyes reluctantly as though waking up from a contented night's sleep.  It took a few seconds for the scene to sink into his fogged mind before he sat up sharply.

"Where are you!?  I know you're hid—"  Sirius leapt to his feet, reaching for his wand in his robes, but to his dismay he found none.  He looked down and felt his chest, across which not five seconds ago had been a painful slash.  Hesitantly he raised his gaze upward and stared around. 

Where was everyone?  Sirius heard faint voices coming from somewhere, but they seemed to be lurking in the shadows, from no real direction.  

"Harry?"  He called questioningly.  "Remus!  Tonks!  Is anyone there?  Hello—"

"SIRIUS!  SIRIUS!"  Sirius heard the fading yet recognizable voice of his godson calling out his name from some undisclosed place. 

"Harry!  Is that you?  Where are you?"  Still patting his robes desperately for his wand, he spun in circles, trying to find where the voices were coming from.  And then he heard another voice.  Remus!

"He can't come back because he's d—"

'REMUS!  WHERE ARE YOU?"  Sirius shouted at the top of his lungs.  His own voice reverberated in the large room.

"HE IS NOT DEAD!"  Sirius heard Harry's barely audible voice scream, and he strained his ears.  Someone was dead?  Harry was obviously distressed…what had happened?  Furthermore, what had happened to Sirius?  He didn't know where he was.  Bellatrix's spell had obviously sent him somewhere, but how would he escape without a wand? 

"Sirius?"

This time it was a clearer, more distinct voice coming from directly behind him.  He felt a hand on his shoulder and whirled around with a sharp gasp.  "Who are—"

But what he saw made his voice die in his throat.  For an instant he thought it was Harry.  But then something flooded back to him—a memory—a million memories—and he took a step backward.  The kind, young eyes of his best friend stared back into his own. 

"James?" He whispered faintly, almost as faintly as the voices he heard from the walls. 

James glanced down for a moment and then up into Sirius's eyes.  His young face taunted Sirius's older one, he seemed to be the same age he had been when Sirius had last seen him.  He gave a slight, sad smile.  "How are you, Sirius?"

Sirius took yet another step backward.  He looked frantically around the room.  What had Bellatrix done to him?  Where was he?  What kind of spell was this?

"What sort of spell—what did she—"

"The worst sort, I'm afraid."

Sirius examined James up and down for a minute.  He then whirled around and pounded the walls all around, screaming "HARRY!  HARRY!  I'M SORRY!  REMUS!  SOMEONE!"

"Sirius, there is nothing you can do.  They can't hear you…"

He stopped, not turning to James, and sank to the floor. 

"You're dead."

As if he hadn't expected it, Sirius gripped his hair.  James glided over to Sirius and sat down beside him. 

"I know," Sirius said darkly.  He finally raised his eyes to James.  "I tried.  I really tried…I'm so sorry James…"

"You did all that a faithful godfather would have done.  If Harry couldn't have had me, I could not have asked for anyone better for the job…"

Sirius blinked slowly.  "You know I wouldn't ever have betrayed you…"

"Of course.   And yet you took the punishment for a guilty man and survived.  I watched as you stole away from Azkaban, as you found your friends again, as you gained Harry's trust.  Remarkable, truly…"

James was standing up and he helped Sirius to his feet.  For the first time in many years, Sirius felt hot tears welling in his eyes. 

"Harry will survive.  I know you loved him like I did.  But he is strong—I have seen it.  You've done more than I could have asked for."  James said quietly.  A flicker played about his eyes long since void of deep emotion. 

Sirius struggled to hold back the tears in his eyes, but the moment he spoke they were let go like a dam breaking. 

"I…" His voice cracked uncontrollably as he struggled.  "James, I…"

And with that they had thrown their arms around each other and were enclosed in a long-awaited, regretful and sad embrace.  Sirius was surprised at how cold they each were. 

"James, what—Sirius!"  It was Lily, appearing from what seemed to be nowhere.  As James and Sirius broke apart, Lily's eyes widened with sympathy as she looked over at Sirius whose heart was breaking.  She strode briskly to him, grasped his hand with her cold one and planted a soft, cool kiss on his cheek.  She did not ask any questions. 

"We missed you," she whispered.

"SIRIUS!" Sirius heard Harry's voice ever so faint from the walls and he turned.

"He will be okay, Sirius," James said quietly.  "He can't hear you.  Come with us."

James grasped Sirius by the shoulders and Sirius felt warmth running through his veins as they ascended to an even larger white room, full of white light and subdued, gentle laughter. 

"Welcome home, Sirius."

Part 2:

James, though still rather frighteningly calm, had become friendlier.  He laughed quietly with Sirius as they reminisced about their old days at Hogwarts.  It all flooded back to Sirius like a rush of warmth in this cold place. 

Sirius had not yet grown accustomed to the odd surroundings.  Everything was an eerie, pale white-to-blue color and the air seemed almost smoky, so that everything in his line of vision was obscured.  Or perhaps it was that his eyes were smoked over. 

It was not a sad place, but not one full of joy…muttering and whispers pervaded his ears and the occasional murmur of laughter.  The multitudes of people stretched onward as far as the eye could see, and yet they were neither cramped nor crowded.  Sirius could not see any sign of walls or an end to the swarms of witches and wizards.  And yet as he looked around he realized it was not only witches and wizards here…it was muggles as well…and even more frighteningly, other creatures—centaurs, hippogriffs, goblins, trolls, even house elves, all combined into this endless throng.  But there was no arguing, no fighting.  Everyone spoke kindly to one another in soft tones.  And though he was unaware of it, Sirius found that he could understand the words of every person, every creature in the place…he seemed to be an infinite linguist.  It was a truly amazing feeling. 

Time did not seem to pass here.  He felt neither bored nor busy.  He, James, and Lily wandered through soft grounds without any thought of time.  It seemed to continuously be the same instant…

"You said something about watching me."

"Yes, I did."  James grinned and Sirius almost caught a glimpse of his friend he had known so many years ago.

"Can…can you watch anyone?  Anything?"  Sirius asked hopefully.

"You only need to wish to."

"I do, I—"

But Sirius words were cut off by a mysterious crystal table rising up from the floor.  He jumped backwards.  The tabletop was perfectly clear.

"What is it you'd like to see?"  James inquired.  But Sirius knew he already knew.

"Harry…"

Without a word James placed his hand on the crystal table and an image appeared in it.  He gasped—it had come so quickly.  There was Harry sitting on the edge of the lake, his head on his knees.  Sirius leaned toward the table, mouth slightly open.  He glanced up at James and Lily who were watching intently into the table, smiling wistfully.

Lily looked up at him.  "He misses you, Sirius.  But he will manage…you know he will…"

Sirius nodded and when he looked down again, he saw Harry ripping open the package he had given him.  He leaned in eagerly.

"Sirius…"  Harry said clearly.  Elbow on the table, Sirius's forehead fell into his hand.  "Sirius Black," he said again.

He watched as Harry waited, as he threw the mirror angrily to the side.  Sirius turned away.  James pressed lightly on the table and it disappeared into the ground. 

Lily put a hand on Sirius's shoulder.  "It's all right.  You'll see that there are not many tables up…most of us rarely use them.  They make us sad; we cannot interfere with the affairs of the world.  But occasionally we check up on people…sometimes it makes us happy…and we need a little happiness around here once in a while…"

"I…I'm rather confused…" Sirius said, running a hand through his hair.  To his shock he found it short and clean. 

It was a few minutes before either of them answered, but Sirius didn't realize it.  There was no time any more. 

"About what?"

"Is this heaven?  The underworld…limbo…hell…where are we?"

James gave another of his sad smiles.  "None I'm afraid.  It is certainly not hell but almost as certainly not heaven.  It is the waiting place."

Sirius rubbed his forehead.  "What are we waiting for?  For how long?"

"We are waiting for our rebirth.  Just waiting in line…"

"And how long?"  Sirius asked again.

"One hundred years."

Sirius put a hand to his temple.  Lily's lovely, youthful face smiled at him.  "You'll find that time doesn't pass slowly here."  She paused and looked around a moment.  Sirius waited.

"Yes, you'll find that a year has already passed…"

If his heart were still beating he felt as though it would have exploded from his chest.  Sirius staggered but then followed James and Lily outward into the vast, endless expanse of faces. 

Sirius was off to find his past.