Chapter 1: The Hatred

okay...my newest crime^^ i'm totally into the avengers right now and i love the pairing stevextony/tonyxsteve...i'll have to decide for my ff which i preferxD

With a satisfying crunch Steven Rogers fist connected with Tony Starks jaw, the punch sending the genius sprawling to the floor and hitting his head against a work bench. This time Tony had really over done it, provocating the blond until his face had been red from anger, the anger causing him to lose his temper and punch the arrogant man in front of him. His head spinning and his vision slightly blurry, the brown haired leaned against the work bench and wiped the thin trickle of blood that ran down his chin away with his hand. He knew he should stop provocating the tall man further, but he just couldn't resist. "So that's how the first superhero solves disputes when at lack of words. Interesting", Tony teased and watched the blue eyes darken. He knew Steve was furious and he also knew that he should apologize, but the brilliant inventor knew many things and apologizing had never been his strength anyways. "Your arrogance and your self-centered attitude make my blood boil and you can be damn glad that I didn't hit you as hard as you deserve!" Steve spat out and looked down at Tony, his eyes filled with anger and something Tony interpreted as hatred. So Captain America hated him. No problem, many hated him. It was better this way anyways. "You know what, I just can't understand why my father wouldn't shut up over you. His rambling made you seem so fantastic... I just can't comprehend it. A mere experiment was more important to him than his family. Captain America, the star-spangled hero, a guy worth wasting his life looking for him. A defrosted disappointment in my opinion." Tony hadn't shouted or anything, he had said these hurting words very calmly, making them cut Steve even deeper. Howard Stark's son, whom he had been looking forward to meet, was an utter disappointment. Cold and rejecting. The blond was at lack of words to express his disappointment, his anger and his hurt, so he turned on his heels and left the lab. Slamming the door so hard a tiny crack appeared in the safety glass, Steve out and Tony alone again.

He leaned his head against the bench, rubbing his hurting jaw, he closed his eyes and let his tiredness take over. Slightly dozing, his mind raced. Truth was, he didn't hate the blond at all, actually the opposite was the case; he loved the blue-eyed blond hero. His father had indeed mainly talked about the war superhero when he'd been with Tony and the way he had talked made the boy feel the same deep affection to this man who was a lost legend. Captain America had been his first and only true hero and he felt awe towards what the Cap. had done for America in WW2 and how selfless he had been willing to sacrifice himself in order to save his country. He had been damn excited when he'd been informed that they had found Captain America in the ice, frozen but still alive in a state similar to hibernating. Leaving all work to a pissed Pepper Potts, he'd rushed off and was present when the blond had been defrostet. When Fury told him, that the Captain was supposed to join in the Avengers initiative, his insomnia had gotten worse and worse because of his excitement. He got to meet his hero Captain America, got to work with him and spend time with the blond. Unfortunately, their meeting had turned out very differently from how Tony had imagined it; they'd gotten at their throats in a few minutes and since then had remained more or less enemies, stuck in the same team and forced to play nice. Well, teamwork functioned mostly, but the being nice part failed completely. Even while battling nasty, evil enemies, they quarreled over the communication. They really weren't in the relationship they were supposed to be and their first meeting had been a year ago.

Tony sighed, feeling utterly defeated and stressed out- emotionally and physically, for Tony Stark didn't sleep a lot these days, spending whole nights in his lab improving or inventing gadgets for his suit and the team. Sure the rest of the Avengers noticed it, but they knew they shouldn't comment on the large, dark bags under the genius' eyes and if you were as 'sensible' or oblivious as Thor and shouted out something like: "Man of Iron! You do look tired. Have you not slept enough? There are these dark rings under your eyes and you seem like something is troubling you!" Thor had gotten a annoyed look and a snide comment similar to "Oh, do demi-gods now care about the problems of petty humans?" Thor hadn't cared about this remark and had simply laughed and left to attend urgent matters in Asgard- something about Loki being obnoxious again. Tony had left the kitchen, a filled coffee mug in his hand and while he left, the others had secretly thrown worried looks at him- even Captain America had been among the worriers.

Flashback

"Sir, Captain Rogers is at the door", JARVIS informed the working man and he simply sighed and called:

"Let him in. Otherwise he's gonna stay there until he starts to root." The lab door opened and the muscular, tall blond walked in. Tony looked up, a "What do you want?!" on his lips, but he simply stared; Steve wore a tight red shirt, ragged jeans and his blond hair was messy and hung into his face. Tony could only describe Steve as damn sexy and he didn't like the way his heart jumped when the blond parted his lips and said: "Look Tony, everybody, even Fury, is worried about you. You don't sleep enough, you barely eat and your concentration during fights has decreased to a level that is not only dangerous to you, but to the whole team. You're an important member of our team and everybody relies on you an-"

"Oh, didn't seem like Fury was actually able to worry about me. I always thought I was like a genius fly, annoying but unable to replace. If Fury's worried Cap., it's not about my health, but about me not working enough. And before I forget: I don't need anybody's pity. I'm a adult and am able to take care of myself", Tony interrupted and Steve muttered:

"Oh really? Doesn't seem like it..." Tony looked coldly at the handsome blond.

"Listen Captain, I'm still able to play in the team, so this 'important member of our team' won't endanger world security- don't waste precious brain cells thinking about it." Tony turned back to the sketches he was working on and pretended to not notice Steve anymore. "You're dismissed Captain!" Tony said annoyed when the tall man hadn't budged after minutes and the piercing blue eyes were starting to make him feel uncomfortably. Steve snorted. "If you carry on like this Tony, you'll harm yourself und the others around you."

"Any other advice?" the dark haired asked sarcastically. Out of the corner of his right eye, he could see the blond shake his head. Returning his dark eyes to the sketch, he heard surprisingly light footsteps walk to the door and the quiet opening and closing door signaled that Captain America was gone. The billionaire felt something warm creep around his heart. Captain America, his childhood hero and often subject of his dreams, actually worried about him. Immediately, Tony chastised himself for his foolish thoughts and feelings. 'Calm down Stark, he's only worried because he's worried about the well-being of the team and not because it's you!' He thought and from then on decided to close his heart completely from any foolish feelings towards Steve Rogers. He would ban his futile love to the darkest corner of his heart.

Flashback end

Tony woke up with a jolt, banging his head hard on the work bench (it had rested on his chest) and breathing heavily like he had just run a marathon. He shivered. The cold of the lab, especially comfortable in summer, was now ice cold. Shakily, he stood up and stretched, his backbones popping painful and his ass hurting from resting so long in this uncomfortable position. The genius glanced at the clock: 2:00 a.m. He yawned, suddenly feeling very tired. Maybe going up to his room and taking a nap was a good idea. Up in his room, Tony didn't bother to undress, but got into bed with his stained shirt and jeans. If the blanket got dirty, the washing machine would clean it again; no reason to worry. Closing his eyes, Tony's thoughts were crashing onto him like a tsunami. Why had he dreamed of this, why had he felt so sad, why did Steve affect him so much, why wasn't he able to stick to his resolution, had locking his feelings and being nasty to Steve really been such a good idea and why the fuck was his normally so ordered mind a total mess? The jumble of thoughts and doubts gave him a headache. Hands crossed over his arc reactor, he tried to calm himself and order his thoughts. Argh! Why did the damn Captain America have to mix up his life, creating a mess out of his feelings like a tornado? Wasn't meeting Captain America what he'd wished for? More questions. Not good. Biting his lip to stop himself from letting out a frustrated cry, he tried to think of something comforting. Any guesses about what came to his mind? Yeah sure, obvious: a picture of Captain America dressed in uniform, no mask, face dirty and gleaming with a thin layer of sweat, blond strands hanging into it, lips parted. The image of what Tony imagined a god after a fight would look like. Sexy, dangerous and slightly intimidating. How Tony would love to touch that body, kiss these lips, -Oh shit! He was having these prurient, forbidden thoughts again. But they were warming his body, driving out the cold of grief and despair. Just once more, tonight, he would go to sleep with this wonderful image, the comforting warmth and the bright glow of his arc. In a few hours, he would have to be his rejecting, hateful self again. Thinking of Steve Rogers, Tony Stark drifted into a deep sleep.

hope you enjoyed the first, short chappter^^ the next one will be up soon and it'll be longer^^