To make a long story short, I'm at Tekkoshocon X this weekend. Went to the Madoka fan panel and got this idea after the discussion of empty apartment vs. full apartment for Mami. This was originally intended to be a drabble, but it became a story instead. My story Return is referenced here, but it's not necessary to have read it.
The streets of Mitakihara's shopping district were crowded, but the two young women maneuvered past, glimpsing into window fronts. They had completed their afternoon shopping and carried the few bags by their sides. As they passed a window with various glass knickknacks, the one woman continued to gaze, fingers gently touching the window. Without another thought, she slipped inside the store, her crimson-haired companion following uneasily.
It had been quite some time since she'd been in this particular shop. She knew its layout all too well, and not much had changed in the months it had been. To her right was the clearance section, directly in front of her were the newest arrivals. To her left were imports, and the middle of the store held everything in between.
Immediately, she gravitated toward the newest arrivals, her eyes roaming fondly over the multi-colored pieces. There were animals, figures, and random objects, seemingly random shapes strung together to create a work of art. Carefully she picked up a tiny azure panther, turning it over and over in her hands. It was so smooth, and yet great pain had been taken to copy every last detail of the creature.
Her companion lingered uncomfortably beside her, hands shoved into her jacket pocket. She felt like a bull in a china shop. One wrong or abrupt turn could bring down knickknack after knickknack, shattering them upon the unforgiving tile floor. At one time, she had felt the same way about her companion's apartment. When she had first started living there, she couldn't turn around without coming face to face with some breakable glass trinket. Slowly, very slowly, the trinkets had been disappearing, which made this particular visit all the more confusing.
"Mami, why are we here?" Kyouko looked behind her, afraid that one of her bags had bumped into the nearby shelf. She was certain she'd heard soft rattling behind her.
"I'm just looking, Kyouko." Mami's eyes wandered over the shelves, moving from top to bottom. There were so many new choices.
"But you've been getting rid of these. You had me give some away even. So why buy more? I mean, you had me give some to that old bag a few doors down," Kyouko reminded her.
Mami looked up at Kyouko, and Kyouko saw the hurt in her eyes before Mami turned to look at the figure. "I didn't say I was buying any more figures. I just…wanted to look. Please let me. Would you wait outside for me?"
Normally Kyouko would have protested, but she didn't want to upset Mami any further. "I'll be outside then." Carefully, she turned watching the two bags she carried as stealthily as a hawk and maneuvered to the door again. As soon as she crossed the threshold back outside, she breathed a sigh of relief. There. Nothing broken or damaged or anything. She moved a few feet down the street and leaned against the brick wall of the building. Kyouko placed the bags on either side of her, happy to give her arms a rest. She had no idea how long Mami would take. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the box of pocky she'd just bought, happily munching on the chocolate covered biscuit stick.
Inside the shop, Mami had placed the panther back on the shelf and picked up a maroon panda instead. As she had with the panther, she turned it over in her hands, inspecting it. She used to spend nearly an hour in this shop, searching for the perfect knickknack, the one best suited to her collection. There was no particular theme to the collection. She bought whatever struck her as something she had to have.
Mami knew that she didn't need the knickknack. She didn't need it any more than she needed lace trimmed hand towels, gorgeous as they were. Once upon a time though, she would have thought she couldn't live without a new knickknack. She had the money to spend. The thrill of buying a new piece for her collection had been like no other. She would always take home the latest piece, searching for just the right spot. Then of course, she would sit back after making a pot of tea and gaze fondly at the new acquisition.
The euphoria lasted until the tea pot was empty. It didn't matter that she had a new piece or that it fit so well among the other pieces. It didn't matter that she'd found the piece hidden amongst all the others. In the end, there was no one to share it with, no one to share the beauty with her. Only after that realization did she know that the knickknack was nothing more than a piece of colored glass. And yet, week after week, she'd return to the shop. No matter how many times the realization washed over her, no matter how many times the pang of loneliness struck her heart, she repeated the task over and over. Perhaps she had hoped that, this time, things would be different. That this time, she'd find someone to share it with. Nothing ever changed. She knew this, and still continued.
She didn't know just when things had begun to change. When the train rolled into the station, bringing with it the one person she had always considered a friend and lost. The change hadn't happened that quickly. No, she had still continued to go to the shop from time to time. Oh, Kyouko hated her for it. She hated the knickknacks that littered the shelves. Mami would watch as she'd tiptoe carefully every time she was near a shelf. She may not have liked them, but she put up with them—for Mami's sake.
Weekly trips soon became biweekly, and then monthly, and then she didn't know when, but she'd stopped going altogether. She'd even started to give away some of her treasures, finding them unnecessary, space wasters. She kept her favorites, but she would have been lying to herself if she had said they had all been her favorites. She hadn't come near the shop in near four months. It hadn't been because she'd been forcing herself, but because there had been no need.
There's been no need because I have what I need—someone who loves me, and wants to be by my side. Glass knickknacks can never replace that.
And with that thought, she turned and walked out of the store, never glancing back. With a quick scan of the area immediately around the store, she spotted Kyouko, relaxing against the brick exterior of the store a few feet away, one foot against the wall to help keep her balance. Already she'd torn into the pocky she'd just bought. Mami smiled as she walked toward her, and laughed when she saw Kyouko sigh with relief that she didn't have a new bag in tow. Kyouko fell in stride beside her, and the two walked silently for some time.
"So… no new knickknack?" asked Kyouko, making sure to confirm this, least Mami had placed the bag inside one of the larger ones.
"No new one. I don't need that." She paused for a moment, leaning up to kiss Kyouko's cheek. "I have you instead."