April 26th, 2009
Andre, Cat, Trina and I were walking to lunch when we passed two men on ladders on either side of the hallway. They were holding a giant banner, and we stopped to read it. In fancy lettering it read; A night in Rome, 2010 prom. Buy your tickets in all lunches. Trina began to talk animatedly about how she was going to pick a guy to go with her, while Andre, Cat and I shared a look. We all knew that it would be the opposite; a guy looking for someone to pick and coming across her in the hallway. Or her asking a random guy at last resort, of course only if he was good looking. As we got to the courtyard,
the conversation somehow turned to me. I only realized it because Cat shoved me and gave me a pointed look.
"Robbie, were you even listening?" Andre and Trina are laughing now, and I apologize.
"We were just trying to figure out who you were going to ask, but we figured it'd be easier if we just asked you."
Andre gives me a look I can't place, and I think. I know perfectly well who I want to ask, but I know it's not going to happen so I shrug and continue walking. Andre tells Cat and Trina to go ahead, and pulls me aside, giving me the same look.
"Robbie, I know who you want to ask. I know you don't want to but I think she likes you! You've been friends forever, you know her better than anyone else here. Just go in there and ask Cat." I am utterly shocked. Am I that easy to read? Is it possible that everyone else knows too? "And yes, I read you like a Dr. Seuss book. It's a talent." He smirks and walks away and I am left standing dumbstruck just outside of the door, lunch swiftly forgotten.
April 30th, 2009
Prom is set for May 5th. Only six days away. Six long, painful days. I am trying to get a plan together, mainly because I work much better with a set plan, something to rely on. Nothing I think of is the right way to ask, and I'm running out of time. Every time I see some guy approaching Cat I go to her first. I know that they're about to ask her, and I need to buy myself more time. But the more time I buy, the more unsure of myself I become. She can do so much better than me, I mean I'm just her nerdy best friend, the underdog. The one who is voted most likely to run NASA and die alone. A little morbid,
but to me, right now, it's true. While I'm the one who's going to die alone, Cat's funeral will probably last for days with people lining up out the door to say goodbye. Although I know I'll be first in line. Even if this doesn't work, if she ends up marrying a Brazilian model/candy factory owner, I will still be first in line.
May 2nd, 2009
Three days. Three days to come up with a brilliant plan. Three days to whisk Cat Valentine off of her feet. Three days to finally tell her how I feel. As we walk to Sickowitz's class together, I realize it's the absolute perfect time to ask. I pull her aside and she looks at me, confused. I start to wring my hands, feeling the nerves kayaking through my blood stream. I can do this, I know I can. It's just Cat, right? Wrong. Everything about her makes me nervous. The way she plays with her red velvet hair, the way she absent-mindedly bites her lip when we're studying together. This is not the same Cat I met in second grade. I open my mouth to ask her, and nothing comes out. I panic, I don't want her to think there's something wrong with me. I look at her again and make a subconscious decision. I run away. She calls after me, clearly irritated, but I keep running until I find the men's room. I rush into a stall and promptly throw up.
May 5th 2009, 5:30 pm
I walk into prom with a group of friends and immediately wish I wasn't such a coward. Cat is sitting with the rest of the group, but I only see her. It's like one of those corny romantic comedies she's always dragging me to. Her dress is a canary yellow dress that catches at the bottom, something she's wanted since she found out there was such thing as a prom. We always used to talk about going together, but our little childhood fantasies obviously haven't come true. I sit next to her at the table and she looks over at me. She looks...lonely.
I spend the night watching her dance with a bunch of random guys and I realize quickly that any one of those could be me. I suffer through prom like any dateless nerd, and as I sit alone at the table, I inch closer and closer to the point of dying alone.
September 24th, 2010
Fall is well underway, and the students of Hollywood Arts are finally getting back into their schedules. Cat, Andre and I made friends with the new girl, Tori, who is Trina Vega's sister. Surprisingly, they're nothing alike, and I laugh at how Tori is talented yet modest while her sister is...well, the opposite. In Mr. Sickowitz's class, we are doing improv when Jade spills her coffee on Tori purposely. Andre is the first to run out of the room to catch her, and Cat and I follow suit. Somehow, while trying to convince Tori to come back to class, Rex says "And you wanted a date to the prom last year but you didn't get one," to Cat. Her face immediately falls and her chocolate brown eyes begin to cloud. "Tell your puppet to quit being mean to me!"
I still can't get her face out of my mid. It kills me to know that through Rex, I could cause that kind of pain to her. Somehow, I'm going to make up for it, but for now, I'm stuck feeling guilty, and I'm stuck dying alone running NASA. And that's nowhere near what I want.