It was supposed to all go back to normal, Remus thinks. Back to the way it used to be, back at school. It was what they had all agreed upon, that they would let go of their new lives and embrace the way they once were, together, and whole. Just for this one evening.
He is, predictably, the first to arrive. He's brought flowers, but as soon as he walks in the door and realises Lily isn't there he just feels silly. He wants to put them in a vase or a glass of water, but instead dumps them in the sink.
Considering how long it's been, he and James have surprisingly little to talk about. Rather, there are too many things they don't want to talk about. They stand awkwardly in the dining room for what seems like an eternity, until finally Peter rings the doorbell and they both reach for the door at the exact same time.
Peter didn't bring flowers. He did bring a few new spurts of conversation, but none that last long.
After almost an hour the silence is deafening. Remus can hear ringing in his ears, and fights the urge to cover them with his hands. They decide to start dinner without Sirius.
The food is delicious, Remus can tell Lily worked very hard on it just for them, but he still can't bring himself to appreciate it. He picks at his steak, subtly hiding little pieces under his mashed potato. Peter has had a little too much wine and has started talking sadly about The Good Old Days. James is silent.
Sirius bursts in over two hours late, his clothes are torn and he reeks of whisky. He doesn't say anything, just stares at the floor, and James starts yelling at him. Peter watches, glassy-eyed. Remus quietly stands up and takes the dishes into the kitchen.
Sirius ignores James and follows Remus, coming up behind him. He slides his arms around his waist and rests his head on Remus's shoulder.
"I'm sorry," he says, but Remus knows he doesn't mean it. He pulls away, and throws the flowers in the bin so he can wash the dishes.
It was supposed to all go back to normal, Remus thinks. But it can't.