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[Re: Enter Sawada Tsunayoshi]
Brittle bones and two black eyes from not being fast enough, not being strong enough, not being enough. Pale skin stretched thin over muscles and sinew – a canvas full of dark violets and bright greens and sickly yellows and deep reds. His hollowed heart yearns for something bright and warm and blazing to fill it and burn away the cobwebs and dust clinging to his bones. The taste of curry and a tiny kitchen where the rest the world is locked outside and coffee stick to his teeth and line the back of his throat whenever he breathes. Stuttered exhales. Wanted to be an astronaut, then a ballerina, then a robot, now he just wants to be accepted. His body is weak, his heart empty, his mind bogged down by the poisonous whispers and jeers he faces on a daily basis. He dreams of the blue, blue sky and sometimes he feels the center of his forehead growing hot, hot, hot-
His knees are chapped raw and rough from falling and his hands and feet bleed from rising up time after time after time after time. Some nights he wonders what the point of everything is – why bother getting back up again?
(He doesn't have an answer to that.)
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[Photokeratisis – aka Snow Blindness]
It starts with the Sun.
He's thinking about the math test he undoubtedly failed and his mother's strained smile this morning and which route hasn't he used this week to avoid his tormentors and if he had enough money on him to buy a bottle of aspirin and a roll of gauze, when it happens.
He looks up from the cracked pavement and sees a boy walking in front of him.
He falls to his knees and is completely and utterly blinded.
That boy is the Sun personified.
There's sun-blond hair and sun-kissed skin and a smile that has all the brilliance and warmth of the sun and Tsuna stares at the Sun until his own eyes begin water and bleed. He cannot – will not – tear his eyes away from the Sun.
He is blinded and he doesn't mind.
The Sun doesn't notice him.
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[Watching]
Tsuna watches the boy – the Sun – from afar and he meticulously catalogues all the times the Sun's teeth shine too brightly in the morning light and the way the Sun throws his head back with laughter and how totally empty those molten gold-eyes are.
(He wonders how blind everyone must be to not see that the Sun is wearing a mask so fragile that it could shatter at any moment.)
He watches as the Sun types something into his phone and turns it around to showcase whatever's on the screen to the shadowed mob of faceless-people flocking around him. Tsuna hears someone yell out a name and he dazedly realizes that it's the Sun's name.
He mouths the two words to himself, feeling each syllable and vowel burn his tongue and scorch the inside of his cheeks and set his veins on fire.
When Tsuna returns home, he's only thinking about the Sun and how the sunlight set those blond locks ablaze – like a halo on an angel.
One time, the Sun glanced in his direction and he was once again blinded by the rays of pure sunshine that made up the Sun's eyes - eyes that could chase away any darkness and light up any dawn sky.
(That night, Tsuna dreams of sunbeams and clear skies.)
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[Re: Enter The Sun]
Raw hands and a perpetually frozen smile on his face, for his parents, for his friends, for the world that will always want more, more, more, give us more! Tanned skin stretched taut over a blazing skeleton and body – a moving history book full of recorded scars and bruises and wounds and scabs. His heart is still beating but it grows slower and slower each passing day. He yearns for something – for someone – to appear and reignite the burning fire locked deep within in. His lips are chapped and bloodied from smiling too much, from his teeth digging painfully into the supple flesh, from his taunting smirk asking the world, is that they best they can do? The taste of smoke and a house he was returned to once, twice, three times and iron stains his taste buds and fill his stomach whenever he breathes. Slow inhales. Wanted to be a soccer player, then a pilot, then simply wanted to be wanted, now he just wants a home. His flesh is burned raw, his heart dying, his mind is far away – imagining warm embraces and loving words that will never be. He dreams of a sputtering golden-yellow Flame and sometimes he wakes and feels like today he can do this and-
His muscles ache and burn from overexertion and his hands and mind throb from helping everyone one after another after another after another. Some nights he wonders, what would happen if he just stopped caring?
(He's too afraid to find out.)
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[First Meeting – Tsuna POV]
It's not an accident.
Tsuna plans and schemes and devises a way to get close to the Sun.
For once in his life, he goes after his tormentors. Entices the most infamous repeat offenders with the tantalizing whiff of easy prey and they bolt after him like rabid hounds hunting down a prey animal. They won't catch him though – not this time.
He loses them after and turns a corner and barrels straight into hot skin and searing warmth and looks upwards with triumphant eyes and-
The rest of the world blurs and melts away until only he and the Sun are there.
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[First Meeting – The Sun's POV]
It's a complete accident.
The Sun simpers and chats and flashes blinding smiles in order to escape the starving parasites trailing after him like moths drawn to a flame.
For once, he's left alone for a span of time longer than ten minutes. He uses that precious time to make his way out of school and into the mess of streets and alleyways that made up the inner section of Namimori. He won't let himself be caught – not this time.
He is about to turn a corner when something small and bony and oh so breakable comes racing from the other side and right into his chest and he looks down with resigned eyes and a plastic smile and-
He has to stifle a gasp as he stares into eyes as wide and clear as the summer sky.
(He feels electricity racing up his spine and his heart begins to beat faster.)
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[Things People Say About The Sun]
He's so kind and helpful. People throw themselves at his feet because he won't refuse anything or anyone. His smile is bright and cheerful. He has scars all across his body from people jealous of him. His parents are loaded with cash. He's a heartbreaker with that careless, charming grin of his. Don't you think he's kind of plastic and fake? Of course not! You're just seeing things! There's not a single mean bone in his body. He can't say no. He's not only super handsome but athletic and smart too! I heard he has three different girlfriends. His parents aren't his real parents. He is perfection. Why would someone get rid of him?
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[Watching Pt. 2]
i. Tsuna's watching the Sun from across the school courtyard. He watches and notices that he Sun's hair is longer than it used to be and that it falls about his face like a golden, silken curtain. He tucks the longer strands behind a tanned ear and catches Tsuna's eyes as he turns to address another one of his many followers. Tsuna smiles. The Sun returns it.
ii. The Sun watches Tsuna. The Sun watches Tsuna and Tsuna watches right back. He is still as small and delicate as the day they met all those months ago and the Sun feels something warm spark within him as the sight of Tsuna's smile. Another part of him freezes at the sight – still not used to having someone there and looking out for him for once. If Tsuna is ice, the Sun will gladly let himself be frozen.
iii. Tsuna watches the Sun again, this time from across the library table separating them. It's quiet, the sounds of hushed murmurs and the scratching of pencils echoing throughout the building. It's now exam season – one of the most stressful parts of the school year and for once, studying is the last thing on Tsuna's mind. He stares at the Sun's hunched form, molten-colored eyes trained on the book in front of him, long golden hair falling into his face, and one tanned hand splayed across the space adjacent to the book he was dissecting with his mind. Eyes the color of the sun look up at him. Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, Tsuna is blinded.
iv. The Sun inhales. The poisonous nicotine filling and expanding his lungs. The Sun exhales. A cloud of grey smoke streaming out of his mouth and into the chilly, winter air. It's going to snow soon. The sound of a door swinging open draws his attention away from the rush of cars on the street, to the bakery entrance that he's standing next to. Tsuna emerges and the Sun can't help but rake his eyes over the thin, bony body that was Tsuna. Despite what everyone else thought of him, despite what he thought of himself, the Sun finds Tsuna to be completely mesmerizing. It's not the way the brunet walks nor is it how the brunet talks; it's how understanding and encompassing he is. He is like home. Tsuna's eyes meet his and the Sun forgets how to breathe. Tsuna smiles. The Sun can breathe once more. Tsuna is Home. Tsuna is the Sky.
v. Tsuna exhales. His breath warm and moist against the Sun's tanned skin. Tsuna inhales. The scent of sunshine and fire and cologne invading his nose and muddling his brain. It's 1:04 am. The bed creaks lightly as he moves upwards and away from the crook of the Sun's neck to glance out the window at the dark night sky. The Sun mumbles something in his sleep and Tsuna can't help but drag his eyes back towards the Sun. Despite what everyone thought of him, despite how he viewed himself, Tsuna finds the Sun to be completely mesmerizing. It's not the way the blond laughs and smiles at everyone nor is it the way that the blond voice seems to charm everyone he meets; it's how selfless and giving he is. Tsuna traces his hand lightly over a year-old scar on the Sun's arm. People weren't blinded enough by the brilliance that was the Sun. Tsuna was. He would never ask the Sun to do anything but shine.
vi. The Sun inhales. Again. The poisonous nicotine filling and expanding his lungs. The Sun exhales. A cloud of grey smoke streaming out of his mouth and into the sticky, summer air. It's going to rain soon. The sound of a door swinging open draws his attention away from the rush of cars on the street, to the bakery entrance that he's standing next to. Tsuna emerges and the Sun can't help but rake his eyes over the thin, bony body that was Tsuna. Tsuna smiles and perhaps there might have been a world in which the two of them had never met like this and the Sun can't help but discard that traitorous thought. He has Tsuna – his Sky – and that all that matters.
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[Things People Say About Sawada Tsunayoshi]
He's so pathetic and weak. People avoid him like the plague because he's so useless and undesirable. His eyes are so wide and dumb. He has scars all across his body because he's too weak to defend himself. His mother is a whore. He's a complete nobody with that scrawny body and wallflower personality. Don't you think it was kinda cool when he stood up to Mochida back in middle school? Of course not! The way Mochida beat him up was hilarious! There's not a single smart brain cell in his mind. He can't say stop. He's not only stupid but a klutz and waste of space. I heard even his mother doesn't love him. His parents must be so disappointed to have a son like him. Hasn't he been hanging out with [the Sun] recently? He will always be Dame-Tsuna. The way he looks at [him]… it's like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.
In the midst of trying out a new writing style and rewriting Fujikage Ryota, I wanted to take Ryota's character down a… darker path in a sort of What-if story.
May or may not be updated as a newer version of Fujikage Ryota, we'll see.