Tenchi Muyo goes 4chan

(You don't have to know what 4chan is to find this funny but it would help as well as knowing the memes!)

During the graveyard shift hours of the evening the mad scientist/self proclaimed greatest scientific genius in the universe, Washu, was routinely typing away on her holographic keyboard. A message appeared at the upper right-hand side of her computer screen.

Washu: "Who could this be at this hour?"

She opened up the message and a flash text started to dance on her computer screen reading: "Hi! Convert this anime into a 4chan style disaster? – Anonymous"

One of Washu's hand puppets came over her shoulder.

Washu A: "It's a trap!"

Washu: "Well I've never heard of 4chan but this could be fun! After all it's not like any of my inventions or ideas have put Tenchi and the rest of the girls in peril. CLICK!"

A shockwave shot out of her holographic laptop in all directions. Washu paused for a moment, disregarded it, and went back to work. Minutes later another message appeared on Washu's computer reading: "Invitation to annual science convention. 100,000,000 yen for first place!"

Washu: "That's right up alley! How could the greatest scientific genius in the universe turn this down? I accept! CLICK!"

The click led Washu to a viewing screen and a video played. It was the music video for Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up." "You've been RickRoll'd LOL" read the new message.

Washu: "Huh? What the hell is this?"

The video played for a few more seconds before she deleted it. (Probably some sort of galactic prank) she thought to herself. Continuing her work another message appeared. This time it read: "Status of experiment 439H."

Washu: "Finally. Something I really need to read."

She clicked it and once again Washu was RickRoll'd.

Washu: "Ok! Now I'm getting pissed off!"

This process continued for the rest of the night. Soon morning arrived and Tenchi along with the rest of the girls in the house began to wake up. Sasami was up earlier than the rest so she could get a head start on making breakfast. It was just before sunrise when a knock was heard at the front of the Masaki household. Sasami, being, the only person up, decided to go check who it was. She opened the door. A man in a suit was standing outside.

Man: "Hi. I'm Chris Hansen. Have you seen this bear?" (He showed Sasami a photo of Pedobear)

Sasami: "No"

Chris Hansen: "Well if you do give me a call." (He handed Sasami his card and left.)

Sasami stopped to think for a moment. (Somehow I get the feeling Washu has something to do with what just happened). Walking back to the kitchen Sasami continued to work on breakfast when an angry Washu walked in and sat down at the table.

Sasami: "Washu! Are you alright?"

Washu: "No. I couldn't get any work done last night because I kept getting RickRoll'd"

Sasami: (With confused look) "What's a RickRoll?"

Washu: "Just don't worry about it. The good smell of the food is the only thing keeping my temper from flaring"

Sasami: "Do you think you could wake the others up?"

Washu: "Yea. Be right back."

Washu went upstairs while Sasami stayed in the kitchen. She look out the window as the sun was peeking over the mountaintops. She smiled thinking it was going to be another great day when suddenly the view of the sun was blocked by a brown bear looking at her pressed against the window. It's big black eyes locked with hers and it began to drool. Sasami remembered the photo Chris Hansen gave her.

Sasami: "Oh no! You're that bear Mr. Hansen warned me abou…."

Before she could finish her sentence Pedobear busted through the window and chased Sasami outside the front door and into the woods. Back at the house Washu had just woken everyone else up and they walked downstairs to the kitchen surprised to see Sasami was absent.

Washu: "That's odd. She was just here. It's not like her to leave the kitchen with all this food cooking."
Ayeka: "Maybe she went to the restroom. I'll go check there."

Mihoshi: "Well while she's gone I'll go ahead and finish making breakfast."

Everyone else gasped.

Tenchi: "Uh…Mihoshi I'm glad you want to help but I really think you should just let Sasami take care of that.

Mihoshi: "It's okay! I insist!"

Tenchi: "Oh boy. Kiyone, could you keep an eye on her?"

Kiyone: "I always do anyways."

Ryoko: "I'll go check outside."

Ryoko teleported outside and saw a party van in the driveway. She went up closer and read the writings on the side of the van.

Ryoko: "4chan party van? Is this Tenchi's father's new van?"

A door opened up and a white coolface stepped out looking at Ryoko.

Coolface: "Problem?"

Ryoko: "Get the fuck out of here!"

Another being stepped out of the party van. It was a fat, short, green, goblin in his underwear.

Ralph: "No"

All doors from the van burst open letting out a variety of memes wreaking havoc on the Masaki property. The last one to leave the van was a long white cat that began to grow taller than any edifice on planet Earth.

Ryoko: "Holy shit! That cat is !"

Ryoko watched as the memes continued to ruin property.

Ryoko: "You know what? I'm just going to go to my room and drink. That usually solves everything."

Ryoko walked back inside to be greeted by the smell of burning food.

Ryoko: "Oh man breakfast is ruined!"

Tenchi: "Nevermind that. Did you find Sasami?"

Ryoko: "No. But I think we have company. I'm going upstairs to drink. See ya!"

Tenchi: "Wait what? Company?"

Before he could get a response from Ryoko she teleported away leaving everyone else downstairs.

Ayeka: "I wonder what she meant by company. I'll go look outside."

Washu A: "IT'S A TRAAAAP!"

Washu: "Will you shut up already!?"

Ayeka opened the front door only to be looking at the nose of a large gray Amtrak F40PH locomotive with lights on.

F40PH: "It's F40PH time!!"

Ayeka: "HUH?"

The locomotive sounded its horn and Ayeka ran back inside slamming the door behind her.

Tenchi: "Ayeka. What's wrong? And what was that noise?"

Ayeka: (With nervous laugh) "It's nothing. Really. I'll just go try to fix breakf…"

The F40PH burst through the front door with a thunderous crash. Ayeka was now plastered on the front of the locomotive as it gunned its way down the hallway.

Tenchi: "Oh Kami! What the hell is going on!? Why is there a train in my house?!?"

Tenchi looked though the massive gap left by the locomotive and saw the state of condition the property was in.

Tenchi: "AAAAAH!! THE YARD! WHAT ARE THESE THINGS?!?!"

A man wearing a black dinosaur shirt came up to Tenchi face to face.

Tenchi: "W-w-what are you!?"

Cockmongler: "I'll suck your cock!"

Tenchi: "WHAT!? ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Mihoshi, Kiyone, I need you outside now!!"

Before Mihoshi and Kiyone could reach Tenchi a figure with 4 arms appeared behind them.

Dr. Octogonapuss: "Dr. Octogonapuss…BLAAAUUGGGH!!!"

A laser with Mihoshi and Kiyone at the end of it shot out of the roof and they landed in the pond outside of the house.

Tenchi: "Two can play this game! IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZAR!!!"

A Shoop Da Whoop appeared on Tenchi's face as he shot his lazar from his mouth into the house eliminating Dr. Octogonapus as well as the F40PH as it burst into a massive fireball. A flaming Ayeka could be seen flying over the mountain side.

Tenchi: "Damn! Well I always did like Ryoko better anyways. Time to clean up the rest of this mess!"

Mihoshi and Kiyone resurfaced gasping for air. They swam their way to the deck where Tenchi was standing.

Mihoshi: "Oh my head. I don't wanna play anymore."

Kiyone: "This isn't a game Mihoshi. We're under attack."

Tenchi: "You two. Get up quickly! Let's end this before it gets way out of control!

Kiyone: "You got it!"

Tenchi and Kiyone: "IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZAR! BLAAAUGH!!!!"

Mihoshi: "IMMA FIRIN MAH….(a taco is thrown into her mouth) "What's going on? I can't fire the laser and I feel this pressure buildup! (ROYAL RAINBOW)

Mihoshi's head exploded leaving Tenchi and Kiyone to finish off the rest of the memes themselves. Soon the property was free of memes. The only thing left was nothing as the lazars decimated all vegetation and the surrounding mountains were leveled. Out in the distance Sasami could be seen walking back towards the house with an AK-47 in her hands.

Tenchi: "Sasami? Where were you!?"

Sasami: "I was being chased by a bear who wanted to rape me! I finally finished him off no thanks to you fags! And what the hell was up with all those damn lasers!? I had to dig a deep hole to avoid getting sand blasted!"

Kiyone: "We came under attack by these…things! I don't know what they were. They resembled something a computer geek would generate when he doesn't have any time on his hands or a life all together. By the way where did you get that assault rifle?"

Sasami: "I kept it hidden in the woods incase I would get chased out of the house. Now if you please excuse me I'm going upstairs to change….WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE HOUSE?!"

Tenchi: "Ayeka let a train come through. It plowed the holy hell out of her all the way to the back of the house."

Kiyone: "I see what you did there."

After her shock went away Sasami went inside the highly damaged home. Washu was eating breakfast at the table as if nothing happened. Sasami glared at Washu for a moment then walked upstairs. At the top she was greeted by a hammered Ryoko.

Sasami: "Ryoko? Are you drunk?"

Ryoko stood trying to keep her balance and responded.

Ryoko: "X has one weakness!"

With a big push Sasami was sent flying back downstairs clearing all but the bottom two landing face first on the wood floor out cold. Seconds later the F40PH that Tenchi blew sky high came down down to Earth landing right on top of Sasami.

Tenchi: "Well even though the damage to the house as well as the property is astronomical I think today can still end well."

Chuck Norris: "Don't be so sure about that!"

With a flying kick Tenchi landed on his back.

Tenchi: "Oh great! Who are you!?"

Chuck Norris: "I'm the only meme you didn't kill chump. I have no weakness!"

Tenchi: "We'll see about that!"

Tenchi transformed into his Juraian battle uniform and began to battle Chuck Norris. Kiyone ran into the house and grabbed Washu by the throat!

Kiyone: "Washu! You've been in here calm and quiet while all hell has been breaking loose! I'm not going to ask how but I know you have something to do with this. Make this all go away now!"

Washu: "Okay okay. Geez! I just wanted to have some fun. I'm a mad scientist for crying out loud! Now lets see. Chuck Norris eh. No weakness? I'm not so sure about that. My computer is searching for a way to beat him. BINGO! In the movie "The Way of the Dragon" Chuck Norris is killed by Bruce Lee. We'll have to make a Bruce Lee clone."

Kiyone: "How long will that take?"

Washu: "Just look outside my dear"

As Chuck was about to use his signature roundhouse kick to knock Tenchi's head clean off a Katana burst through the front of Chuck's chest as blood spray went in all directions. Chuck went down and disappeared. Bruce Lee bowed to Tenchi and went back to Africa. Tenchi transformed back into his normal self. Kiyone was about to run outside to go celebrate the victory with Tenchi when she slipped on a marble and landed on the wreckage of the F40PH. The back of her head hit a shard of metal sticking up from the wreckage penetrating all the way through her forehead. Tenchi walked inside to talk to Washu.

Tenchi: "You can bring the house back to normal right? As well as bring everyone back to life?"

Washu: "Of course I can."

Tenchi: "Great. But now I feel the need to celebrate."

Washu: "Hmm (she said seductively) How about a 3 way?"

Tenchi: "Wait..what?"

Washu: "Oh Ryoko!"

Ryoko appeared in the kitchen now completely sober. Both women looked at Tenchi with evil grins.

Washu: "Grab him."

Ryoko: "With pleasure!"

Tenchi: "Hey wait!! NOO!"

Washu: "Now take him to my lab! It's time for another experiment. I promise I won't be gentle either!"

Tenchi: "!!!!"

The End!