Authors' Note: This is a collaborative Labyrinth crack fic with a few 'surprise guests' thrown in for kicks. Expect a strange brew of horror, romance, suspense and snark, rolled up in a 5 chapter 'quick fic'. Buckle up darlings...it's time to answer the burning question…

BUT HOW DO WE KILL IT?

Prologue

"Check it out Tobes… isn't that Queenie?" Sarah asked, pointing at the stately white swan that glided across the pond, trailed by three fluffy grey goslings. The light tone of her voice was betrayed by the faint crackling of tears that underpinned her words. Keenly aware of the stoney silence from her brother, the only response he would give, Sarah pulled more ripped lettuce from the bag in her pocket and scattered it into the water. "Looks like she had a good nesting season," she added, peering over her shoulder. If she hadn't looked, she could have let herself believe his silence was just the sullenness that came with being a pre-teen boy; but one look at his vacant eyes, blood-shot from a lack of sleep, and she was faced yet again with the grim truth.

His silence wasn't natural - something had terrified him beyond all reason.

She didn't know what it was, no one did, although she had her suspicions.

Sarah scattered the rest of the lettuce in the water and made her way over the stone bridge back to the shore. The light breeze that danced through the park swirled around her, teasing her with the scent of impending spring rain, crisp and fresh, with a hint of icy chill. Glancing at the sky, she shrugged deeper into her fleece jumper, and tugged the zipper higher under her chin. Spring rain always made her think of the night she nearly lost him to the Goblin King thanks to her own selfishness and stupidity. The irony wasn't lost on her - she fought so hard to save Toby that time only to end up losing him anyway; but this time it was to an unknown terror that kept him locked in his own mind.

Without speaking Sarah sat next to him, her grey-green eyes searching his face and body for any twitch of recognition, yet finding none. Silently she stared at the pond and the grey clouds creeping closer across the horizon. Wind rustled through the trees, the leaves making gentle shushing sounds that brought little comfort to her aching heart. Sighing she reached over and zipped up his jacket, protecting him from the chill in the air; all the while cursing herself for being unable to protect him when it really mattered.

"I'm sorry, Toby. I should have been here."

Brushing hair from his forehead, she fought down the urge to crush him in a hug. She'd been on a date when it happened, a date she didn't want to be on in the first place, but her parents insisted - "You haven't been out with a young man in over a year Sarah."

How could she explain that the men she met were missing something she couldn't quite name.

At first it had been a relief when her phone started to ring in the middle of dinner. Her relief was short-lived when she saw that that call was from her father. Unlike Karen who would call to check up on her dates, her father only ever interrupted a date if it was important. The minute she answered the phone her blood seemed to freeze upon hearing the terrified shrieking in the background. "Sarah… come home. There's been… an accident."

She rushed home, numb enough that she didn't even remember the trip, as the sound of her brother's terrified screams filled her head. Before she even reached the house, the sight of flashing red, white and blue lights filled the night, etching themselves on her retinas. Police vehicles had taken over the street. When she finally reached the house, a uniformed officer opened the door. The sight of her father hunched over on the couch while a police detective spoke to him would be a sight that would haunt her the rest of her days; his tie was askew and his face was buried in his hands. Snatches of the officer's words reached her, making her stomach lurch wildly - 'We don't know what happened...hoping Toby can tell us. The other boy… injuries incompatible with life…' A pair of officers near her were more blunt, and seemingly oblivious to the fact that their voices carried as loud as they did - 'Found his leg by the creek...like it was ripped off…head still missing...third case like this in the tri-state area...what sort of monster is capable of this…..'

Fighting down the urge to vomit at the realization of how close she came to losing Toby, she was pushed brusquely out of the way by paramedics wheeling a gurney, with a tiny ashen figure strapped on it, bundled in blankets, with just his little face showing. Toby stared at the ceiling, his lips pulled over his teeth in a horrified mask, scarlet dots scattered across his face like a Jackson Pollock tribute.

Seeing Sarah, Karen rushed to her, hugging her close, hysterical sobs bubbling from her. "They had to sedate him….my baby! He screams...just screams…."

A hand on her shoulder made her look up from the stranglehold Karen had on her, to be greeted by her father's broken expression. "Peter is dead. They were together," he murmured, his voice cracking. "The police need us. Can you...can you ride to the hospital with Toby? I don't want him to be alone," he asked, prying Karen from Sarah and letting his wife cling to him, her tears wetting his shirt.

Nodding numbly, Sarah rushed upstairs and grabbed the thread-worn but well-loved teddy bear sitting on Toby's bed. "C'mon Lancelot. Toby needs us."

That was two weeks ago, and the police were no closer to discovering what had happened.

For two weeks she had laid awake at night, listening to her little brother rocking on his bed in the room next to hers, the springs of the mattress creaking rhythmically, punctuated occasionally with a muffled sob. Other times it wasn't muffled, but a horrified shriek that would linger long into the night. The sobs were bad enough, but the screams made her blood run cold. No one knew what had happened to him, and Toby hadn't uttered a word. Her parents whispered quietly to themselves, tiptoeing around him afraid he would begin screaming again.

Pulling herself from the memories, Sarah wrapped her arm around Toby, almost wishing for the flinching and protests he used to give - 'Eww Sarah...no hugging! That's gross!' He sat still and stiff beside her, alive but no longer of this world.

"If you'd just tell me what happened, I'll do everything I can to fix it," she muttered helplessly into his white-blond hair.

Even as she said the words, she knew they were a lie.

She didn't know how to fix this. All she knew was that whatever had happened had not been of the human world. The feel of 'the other' was all around Toby when she got into the ambulance with him. It wasn't the delicious tingling sensation of Underground magic that she felt in the Labyrinth, this sensation was darker, making her stomach churn and her heart race, the sour taste of fear filling her mouth. The problem was she couldn't be sure if the magic she felt around him was different than the Labyrinth, or if it was she who was different and Labyrinth magic had always felt that way. But with the magic being the only clue about what happened, she ran with it, researching ways to call the Fae and more importantly - ways to kill them.

"I'm going to find the bastard who did this Toby. I'm going to find him, and I'm going to make sure he never hurts another kid again. He will pay, I promise," she muttered, giving Toby a protective squeeze.

When the first wave of fine mist descended on the park heralding the incoming rain, Sarah took her brother's small hand in hers and stood up. "Time to head home, buddy," she said, picking up the picnic blanket and tossing it over her shoulder. "Mom will have a fit if I keep you out in the rain. You know how she is."

Any other time Toby would have laughed and mimicked his mother - 'Just look at you, soaking wet! You'll catch your death! And look at the muddy footprints! Toby James and Sarah Renee`...you get in there and clean up those footprints right now! I just mopped the hall today!'

But today there was no reply, nothing except the quiet twittering of birds preparing for the rain and crickets singing their songs of early spring.

Taking Toby's hand, Sarah began to lead him the two blocks back to home, keeping up a string of inane chatter, more to distract herself from his silence than expecting him to finally speak. As they rounded the last corner toward home, Sarah continued to talk to him, while her mind whirled wondering how best to help him. Feeling him stop, she felt a moment of elation as it was the first self-motivated movement he had made since the 'incident', but seeing the look of sheer horror on his face erased any hope she had. In the next instant she smelled the strong scent of ammonia and saw dark blue wetness seeping down the front of his jeans as Toby started to shriek, the sound clawing inside her skull until she felt she would scream with him. Turning to see what had set him off, she stopped and stared.

Hovering over the storm drain in front of their house, bobbing and bouncing harmlessly in the spring breeze, was a single red balloon.

Reviews are appreciated. We also work for chocolate and Dragon's Breath Cider.