AN: when ppl ask me where i get inpiration for ff, i say, "ANYWHERE!" and in this case it's the channel TLC and their stupid show "LOVE AT FIRST KISS" so THANK THEM FOR THIS ATROCITy TO MANKIND. It's a trainwreck. You think our other stuff is awful? WELL THINK AGAIN. THIS ONE HAS GONE TO NEW LOWS. Decent Writing? No cares. ACtual plot? No cares. DID WE EVEN REREAD THIS BEFORE PUBLISHING? NO. SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK FOLKS CUZ WE ALREADY WARNED YOU. #EDGY #SORRYNOTSORRY
Love At First Kiss
In an experiment based off a viral video, these people have decided to kiss a stranger. Also, they were paid a lot of money, because they are broke college students. Some say they were looking for love. Others needed a paycheck. And then some wanted to be famous because they claimed to be great kissers.
Terry Maybeck, a dude that's smokin' hot, said in an interview , "Oh yeah, I'd totally kiss anyone. I'm, like, a great kisser. And not so bad with the ladies. Anyone that sees me will immediately fall in love."
The girl that was chosen to potentially kiss Maybeck, Charlene Turner, said her side of the story. "He has to be hot. Not like nerdy. But, like, hot. Because everyone thinks I'm hot. So hopefully he's hot. I won't kiss some nerd."
Maybeck stood in a white room waiting to see the person that he was going to kiss. He said to the camera. "I don't know if this will be love, but hopefully she'll want to make out with me later. . . in that closet over there. Can someone leave me some keys to the building?"
Charlene walked through the door and Maybeck grinned. AW YEAH, he thought. SMOKINGGGGG HOT.
Charlene walked up. Immediately kissed him. And then walked out.
"THAT gIRL IS GONNA BE MY WIFE." Maybeck yelled. Now all he had to wait for was the two minute speed date.
Maybeck waited in the hipster waiting room for his future wife, but was afraid she wouldn't show up. Like, why wouldn't she show up?! HE'S HOT. SHE'S HOT. THEY CAN BE HOT TOGETHER.
He waited and was really annoyed that he even HAD to wait. Like, those stupid directors were probably making her wait to make it seem like she wasn't going to show up. Stupid Brad. Maybeck was about to walk out until the door opened and the girl (CHARLENE) came out and sat by him. She didn't say anything and pressed the button on the clock.
"So, what's your name?"
"Charlene."
"I'm Maybeck."
"Yeah, whatever. You're hot so you just wanna make out and then I'll let you call me?"
"HELL YES."
"Great. Now kiss me." She said. And then they made out. The timer stopped, but they didn't. The director stopped rolling the camera.
"THIS IS UNCOMFORTABLE TO WATCH PLEASE LEAVE." Brad screamed.
They ignored him.
"Maybeck, you said you'd do this a few times more for extra rent money, and you signed a contract, and the next person is here."
Charlene pushed away. "Excuse me?"
"Ah…" Maybeck looked confused. "I thought you'd be ugly. But you're not. You're HOT."
"Oh, hell no." she pushed him away. "For the record, you're a terrible kisser."
"Babe, don't be like that."
"GO KISS A DONKEY." She stormed out. Maybeck would never see her again.
It was over.
He knew he would never get her back, and that'd he messed up.
Suddenly, an image flashed through his mind, of Charlene in another world flirting with some green eyed kid. Huh. Where had that come from? Eh, it was probably better this way. He was TOO HOT (HOT DAMN).
Maybeck smiled. "So, who's next?"
"Wanna kiss that other girl?" Brad asked.
"YEAH. I need to get over my rejection. Also I could use more money. EVERYONE KNOWS MY GENERATION IS SCREWED WITH COLLEGE DEBT ANYWAY."
"Great!"
Willa, an adorable cinnamon roll, was genuinely looking for love. Sure, the cash helps, but she was tired of staying at home and not giving anyone a chance. It's possible she even had a crush on someone and was hoping to make them jealous when they saw the video.
She waited patiently in a white room hoping that the guy of her dreams walked in. And there he was. A cute smile and red hair. He looked nice and sweet. And then when they kissed she could just feel the butterflies.
She waited for him to show up on the two minute date. When he walked in, her heart did a flip. She never had a crush on someone she had just met. He pressed the timer and the conversation began.
"So is this crazy?" she asked.
"Oh definitely."
"What do you like to do?" she asked hoping they had a lot in common.
"I spend a lot of time studying, but when I don't, I usually go rock climbing. I just really like adventures."
"That's cool. I'm into archery."
"Like, Katniss and stuff?"
"Uh, sure. I also like-"
"So you're, like a nerd?" he asked.
"Not exactly."
"Because archery is such a nerd thing to do. Like are you only doing it to be like Katniss or The Arrow or something?"
"No," Okay, she thought. This guy who sounds like a British toaster is the worst. Whatever feeling she thought she had for this guy was completely gone. Here he was practically telling her that she was only into things because she was a nerd. What a jerk.
They talked some more and he said some more insulting things. Once the minutes were up, he asked if he could call her.
"You can." She said. "But I won't answer."
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Brad and the camera crew crowed. Air horns went off.
"This was stupid. Spencer would never be… well, you." Willa threw on her sunglasses and walked out.
"GET WRECKED!" The crew hooted and hollered.
Philby looked like a sad ketchup packet, his face was so red with embarrassment. Lumpy red British ketchup.
Finn was a closet romantic. He lied about needing the money even though that was a plus if the girl was terrible. He was searching for love. All the girls that flirted with him were secret sea witches or they were crazy blondes with boyfriends. He needed to find someone that would like him for him. Finn even loved Nicolas Sparks movies – if that didn't say he was a sappy romantic, what did? He wanted someone to kiss in the rain.
Then he saw her.
He felt like he'd seen her before (in his dreams? No, too cheesy, Whitman). She seemed familiar,
Standing in front of the cameras and the blank white wall, the girl approached him.
Finn cleared his throat and held out his hand. "Finn."
She smiled. "Amanda."
You know those Taylor Swift songs about kisses and fireworks and stuff? Yeah, it was that, and the romantic in Finn was all !?
And when she walked away Finn was in a daze of happiness. She was everything and he didn't even know her.
He said in his interview that she was pretty and he would definitely want to get to know her, but he never really got a chance to explain how he felt. He was concerned that it was only one sided so maybe that's why he couldn't find the words.
Finn waited patiently for her to arrive. He hoped he wouldn't be stood up. That would turn such a magical kiss into the worst kiss ever.
SPEED DATE TIME.
Finn was nervously waiting. He wanted to see her again.
Amanda walked in the room, not giving him a chance to speak. "Do you ever meet someone and you just KNOW-"
"That they're the one?"
"YES."
"Now I do. Do you…?"
"YES."
Amanda grabbed his hands and they ran away off into the sunset and lived happily ever after because as out of character as this sort of is THEY DESERVE TO BE HAPPY FOR ONCE OKAY LET IT GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Maybeck was back for more. He needed another saucy kiss from hot girl. Sure enough some hot girl came in and they kissed and he was in love. Maybe he will have more luck with this girl than he did Charlene.
The girl had blonde, practically white hair, with the tips dyed all different bright colors. She reminded him of a watercolor painting. He was already liking her.
They kissed and he was so happy. She was a GREAT kisser. Like SO MUCH BETTER THAN CHARLENE THE JERKFACE.
"Oh yeah," he said to the interviewer. "She seems great. I like her."
He waited for her for the two minute speed date. She walked in and sat down. He pressed the button for the timer.
"Tell me something about yourself!" Maybeck said. "Also, I'm Maybeck!"
"Oh! I'm Jess and I like to draw."
"WHAT NO WAY SO DO I!"
"Everything and anything! It's so great and relaxing."
"RIGHT I LOVE IT OH MY GOSH I LOVE YOU."
"YOU'RE REALLY HOT."
"I KNOW, BUT SO ARE YOU."
Brad groaned as the two started making out. "College kids and their emotions… Ugh." he looked at his crew. "Okay, let's wrap this up. We don't need to film anymore. I'll talk to joe on why this show sucks and why this cast sucks. Next time let's film a wedding or something."
The crew filed out and Maybeck and Jess were still making out.
Overall, the results of this test were memorable. Charbeck was a disaster because Charlene likes to flirt with everyone. Wilby will never be because Philby is a poop pie. Famanda will always be canon and belong together forever. They are flawless. Maybeck and Jess had more chemistry than most of the couples.
acTUALLY WE ARE SORRY YOU READ THis.