SEQUEL TO ANNOYING THE VAMPS 2!

Annoying the Vamps 3

One

"Ugh…STOP TUGGING ON MY LEG AL!" I kick at him. He whines and keeps tugging. "MOM!"

Mom is being bitchy today and says 'let the kid tug'. I mean jeez, be on my side for once! I AM YOUR ONLY DAUGHTER YOU KNOW! As I pout, Richard pries Al off and drops him in the garbage can. "There we go!" Richard works on nailing the lid to the can.

"WAAAAAAAAAH!" Al whines. "MOMMY!"

"Ugh…" Mom stomps in and grabs the hammer and nails from Richard's hands, nailing one into his skull. Ouch… "Stop bullying your brother!" she hisses, grabbing Al out of the can and walking to wash him up. The little bastard sticks his tongue out at us and snuggles up to mother.

Grumbling about how slow and painful the ripping of his head off will be, I grab the nail out of Richard's head and pin up the banner I so hold with it. The banner says 'Party for Part Thee' (though I specifically told them part three) and is the last remaining thing of the banner company, seeing as they all blew up two days ago when I got this. Now, there are no connections there, so I am obviously not guilty~. Streamers hang from the stairs and whatnot, one in my face to my discomfort, and balloons are all over.

I guess I should mention the overflow of dead vampire plushies, but that is not really a major factor of how festive I made the house look. The walls are all red with paint (yeah…that's the ticket…) and the floor is stained with it. It reeks of rust and salt, a major scent of metal in the mix, and 'All hail queen Ann' is spelled out in broken glass on the ceiling. To be honest, I think I should get paid for stuff like this! But Linkin says no and tells me I cannot due to her happy fortieth. Seriously, I DID NOT DECORATE! Yet she blames me anyway!

Oh, right, I had cards for this. Hold on! I rush up stairs and slam my bedroom door shut. I run through the door, leaving a fair-sized hole in place. In my hands are cards I wrote for this chapter. –Clears throat- "Why are you clearing your throat?" Dad sighs as he walks by.

Damn body! UGH! "I'm going through the motions," I snap. "Now off to the downstairs with you!" He gives me a quizzical look, making me shrink a bit. "Erm…Please?" he obeys.

Okay! Hello, I am Queen Ann Demon Gone Out of Hand Siam! I am currently threfteen years old, seeing as you missed the party. Sorry, but I could not get this stupid log until Linkin got the pipe out of her ass and gave me my pay! Really? STOP GETTING INTO MY HEAD! Anyways, so here I am and-Ding dong! Oh, that's the doorbell.

I rush downstairs and trip along the way, rolling and crashing into a red wall. With my back now soaked in 'paint', I hobble up and lean against the door. This breaks and crashes forward, making my nose broken as my face is against it. "Ugh!" Zero cringes, covering his nose. "What is that stench?"

What? He was invited! Grumbling, I snatch his pants and yank myself up, also yanking them down. "Well hello," I say to the newly seen boxers.

"H-HEY!" he yanks them back up. "Don't be a pervert! And answer the question!" I try giving him that quizzical glare Dad gave me, but all he does is give me a 'do not fuck with me, woman' glare that I have to abide by. Apparently that is how all the gushy-mushy couples do things: the non-fun way.

I dust my pants. "It's the paint," I nod my head to the inside. "The shade is called 'Sheep's blood'." He gets the message and starts walking away. "Hey! Get back here!"

"No."

"Why not?" I tackle him.

This makes him fall forward somehow. "ACK! What the-DON'T GIVE ME THE PUPPY FACE ANN!" What? I am freakin' adorable with my puppy face! "Ugh, you know me and blood, Annie!" I am quick to slap him silly. "OW!"

His head hits the pavement harshly as I shake his shoulders. "THIS QUEEN IS NOT NAMES ANNIE!" I screech. To inflict more fear, I jingle the weapon bracelet in front of his face. "See this? A chainsaw to chop off your nuts if you say differently again! GOT THAT HOT STUFF?!"

Now Zero just looks flat out confused. "…Are you trying to be intimidating?" This earns him a kick to the nuts. "OW!"

"Ann, stop abusing your boyfriend!" Richard calls from the door.

Oh yeah, you do not know about that, huh? Well, whilst you were gone, we got together because, to be honest, he blew up Hanabusa. That is a major favor in my direction! Sadly he lived and only went into the hospital for a few weeks. Again, I blame EBay. Everything that goes wrong in my life must be blamed on either Kaname or EBay! Well, all of that strung-together crap, and the fact that...well…he's cute and…Ugh, it's hard to explain how the weird, beating thing in my chest works! I think the name of it started with a 'Q'...?

So I stop being mean and push the guy inside. To his request, I give him a gas mask as to not make him lose it. This party shall be the best one until I form another! As I set up the bags of skittles on the table, the doorbell rings again and I open it to Night. "Hey!" I smile, hugging her.

"HI ANN!" she literally tackles me.

"ACK!"

With her weight lowering my air count (remember, I am only in a body of a thirteen-year-old), she offers me a present. "Here!" she cheers. "A present for my queen!"

The box is wrapped in black paper with red ribbon. I take it and open it to some queenish clothing, a crown included, a few dozen pounds of candy, and a plushy in a red gown that looks oddly like me. Zero rips the candy from me once I start kissing it from glee. "Hey!" I whine. My hands reach out and clench repeatedly like a baby implying 'gimme'. "Return thy candy to me!"

"You're hyper enough," he walks back into the kitchen.

Night blinks and points after him, but I shake my head. She does not really need to know what the necessity of it is. She hops off and salutes. "Hail Queen Ann!" she cheers.

"HAIL QUEEN ANN!" another tackle comes to my attention. All this one does is squish me flat.

"ACK!" I repeat. A note is shoved up to my face.

Dear Ann-sama,

I understand how you will be frightened about the FBI, my mother accidently blew up one of their head qaurters one time so they hate her guts now...

Anyhow, I wish you could meet my friends, I think you would like them :3 cause their weird and Maki has a pedophile boyfriend who watches her sleep, and Kaki is just crazy, I mean they don't dash into my house with tazers and some random substance...I do but, they don't, they do blow things up though, a lot...with ice of all things...Anywho I'm getting off subject, enclosed are gifts Enjoy.

From your forevor insane and obsessed with Edgar allen poe poems and random crazy crap follower,

Yuki Hoshino!

Oh…"Hey Yuki!" I wave. "Uh, off?" She hops off and drops a box in her place. "ACK! THIS IS PAINFUL!"

"That just happens with you!" Richard laughs. I pluck Nancy the Nail gun from the bracelet and take aim. "OW!"

"There!" I snap. "Now it's painful for you!"

Someone flicks my head. "Ann-sama!" Yuki addresses. "Open the package!"

"Alright, alright!" I raise my hands. "Jeez, gimme my breather!" Using my nail, I cut the box open and pluck the stuff out of the inside. "Hanabusa OFF! Now that can come in handy. Good banners…" They read 'Happy Rein of Destruction! All Hail Ann-sama!', so they meet my approval. There is a giant, inflatable pool with random plushies. I grab one and gnaw it's head off as I continue. Kitty potions, a life-sized Barney follow afterward. "Zero! Get the-Oh wait, got it!" I shove C4 down it's throat and push it out the door. A human comes out, making me stare at Yuki. "Explain?"

She points to it with a finger-pointer, shoving random glasses up her the bridge of her nose. "This is a humanoid-whatever that means-computer human! I got it from Chobits~"

Don't know what that means, but I will just assume it is something that is not going to kill me. It looks like a girl with bird beaks on her head. She has light-blonde, short hair, is fairly pale and green-eyed, and has a simple white dress. "…Hello?" I poke her.

"Hello," she replies.

BOOM!

And there goes Barney. With a sigh, I take out capes, putting one on her, handing Yuki one, also Night, Zero, Richard, and me. Al, Mom, and Dad walk in and do not get one because they are not cape worthy! MUHAHAHAHA! Yuki hands me bombs that feel frigid. The doorbell rings again and in comes Mika. "Mika!" I greet. "How is my-"-She hands me a note. "Oh…"

Ann,

I will continue to be thy royal witch and I will mix potions at your demand!

Any potions, magic mushrooms or random crp you need just ask!

Mika xx

Then she puts a big bag into my hands. Knowing her, it's potions. "Happy party," she smiles.

"…Thanks…" I set the box down. My arms spread out and face the ceiling. "Okay God, who else?"

The screeching tells me that God heard and is telling me to get the Hell out of dodge. In so, I cling to the computer for dear life. Yet, I get tackled again. "ANN!" Kurosei cheers. "It's me!"

Oh how bad do I want to taze someone's pretty face! Gritting my teeth, I force a smile. "Kurosei, how nice…" I shove her off and stand, dusting my shirt. "For crying out loud, I am a queen! NOT A TACKLE BUNNY!"

"Sorry…" they all mumble.

I nod, satisfied, but then curse my head off at the sight of Kaname. "Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! FUCKING! WHY!" I direct to Kaname.

Kaname enters, glaring at me. "Wonderful to see you to," he mutters.

Zero is not so happy either, but he stays gentle in order to calm me down. "Hey, hush Ann," he picks me up as I flail and kick and screech. "Calm down, or no cake."

"CAKE!" I squeal, hugging his neck tightly. "Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I smooch him from gratitude.

Everyone is a bit shocked that my face went through the gas mask to kiss him, but knowing that is just how I work, they quickly dismiss it. When I am done, Zero is wide eyed and blinking. Sort of makes me wonder why he is so stunned that his girlfriend is a case of nuts. I hop out of his arms and run for the kitchen. "Follow me! Follow me! La-la la laa la~!" I sing. My loyal followers do such.

As time passes, we nearly explode the house making kitty cupcakes. Note: I am not a good cook. We move to piñata bashing, which Kurosei GREATLY disapproves of due to the fact that I am using Kaname as le' piñata. Or is it 'la piñata'? Eh, I don't know. So that is one off the checklist of annoying the vampy-vamp-vamps. It somehow moves to a candy fight, which Yuki and I sob over all fallen candies afterward. Then comes the candy funeral, which everyone drags us away from the tiny graves we made in the backyard much to Mom's disapproval. Honestly, can a queen not morn? I mean Queen Victoria did it!

For whatever reason, Kurosei proceeds to hand us refillable pepper spray cans and then complains when I use it on Kaname. Out of all honesty, she should have put some rules for it. Mom scrubs the walls, much to Zero's comfort, as Yuki, Night, Mika, Kurosei, and I talk about what to name the computer. Mika gives us the idea of 'Nori', but Night suggests 'Masa', then Yuki suggests something along the lines of 'unicorn'; couldn't really catch the rest of it. In conclusion, Kurosei and I dub her 'Nori Masa Taka'. All but Mika break into the Macarena dance using that instead of 'dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun-a' and Mika shakes her head.

Quickly naming the pepper-spray can 'Peps', I stick it on the bracelet. We all lie around, Kaname sitting on the couch politely, as we ponder on what to do next. Kaname stands to go, but Kurosei glues his feet to the floor before he can even say anything. With a sigh, he sits on the couch again. My note-cards say nothing, so I start shredding them and eating them bit by bit. Seriously, I am going insane with nothing to do. "Can we eat cake now?" I whine at Zero, tugging at his pants leg that is next to my head.

He nudges y head with the tip of his shoe. "Get up and then you-"

"YAY~!" I shoot up, dashing into the kitchen. "I get to cut!"

"Oka-WAIT NO!" He runs in after me and grabs my hands that hold Cassie le' chainsaw. "DO. NOT."

I pout and turn to the followers. "Er…guys?"

Mika grabs the tazer from my bracelet and uses it on Zero. Yuki lines up the cake with the path of the chainsaw and Night prepares to blow a whistle. "On my mark!" she states. "One…Two…" Tweet!

The sound of the chainsaw rips through the house as I slice the cake. Soon it is done and I put the chainsaw away with pride. That is, until the table collapses and the cake plops onto the floor. I venture to my corner of woe. "Darn it…" I mope.

Nori Masa Taka pats my head robotically and smiles a little. To be honest, I don't see what is so happy about seeing a mourning queen. Kaname rolls his eyes and bangs on the wall. "SOMEONE GET ME OFF OF THE FLOOR!" he roars.

"No!" Kurosei whines. "Stay there, hun-bun~"

"PLEASE HELP ME!"

She pouts as Mom and Dad rush in and try to detach him from the ground. Whatever Kurosei used actually worked well! Eventually, I cannot stand their suffering, for they are my producers, and stomp over to levitate his feet off the ground. As he runs out, someone growls behind me. I turn slowly to Kurosei, who is producing an awful amount of miasma at the moment. Yuki, Night, and Mika hold up cards that say 'run' and I do so. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Linkin: ANN IS BACK!

Ann: NOT FOR LONG! Kurosei, please be nice and don't kill me! I JUST GOT BACK!