SOMEONE PLEASE KICK ME INTO WRITING AGAIN AHHHH.
*clears throat* …Right. About that.
I've been having a lot of off days lately (which I think made my writing go downhill), and I'm sorry I haven't been able to post anything. I promise I'll work hard on update chapters and other things from now on! (A little motivation wouldn't hurt, too.)
Anyway, here's some Shinaya! Honestly, I wrote this just so I can use the title.
Kagerou Project belongs to Jin.
What makes a good person?
Because whatever it was, he did not possess it.
And whatever it was, she had taken all of it.
"Really, to get a fifty-six on a test…" Shintaro narrowed his eyes onto the girl's paper, slightly annoyed that she was still smiling. "You need help. And you need proper studying techniques."
"Aw, come on, Shintaro!" She laughed, already folding the paper. As expected from the girl he had dubbed as "sunshine and rainbows". It wasn't much of a surprise at that point. "It's better than the thirty I got last week!"
"You sound as if you've gotten better."
"Well I have!" A look of pride washed itself over Ayano, and she turned to Shintaro as if she expected him to do the same. "It just proves that I can do it!"
"Do what?" Curious. He couldn't believe that he was even asking.
But instead of answering, the girl put a sheepish finger against her lips, which only puzzled the boy even more. Sure, he was a genius, but everything the girl did was a mystery to him, and he just couldn't figure out why. It was an elusive question, one he would decode only later on.
"It's a secret!"
Staying behind in the classroom for lunch, Ayano decided that she would do the same so that "Shintaro won't be so lonely!"
"Eh, you don't have to," he began to say as the girl sat down in her usual seat beside him. "I just didn't feel like going outside, that's all."
"But that's terrible!" She exclaimed, her voice seeming to have been offended by the statement. "I won't leave you alone!"
"That's kind of creepy," Shintaro replied, which made Ayano laugh in hesitation. "But…fine. I know you won't go that easily."
"Great!" With that, the girl whipped out a piece of paper from her bag, crumpled and messy. Her handwriting was scribbled across the lines, a little disorganized, but still legible. Then she began writing, a determined spark in her eyes.
Curiosity killed the cat – or in this case, it killed the genius. He leaned over, and when the girl noticed, she pushed the paper closer to him.
"'Ayano's Theory of Happiness'?" He squinted, making sure he was reading it right. "Can…can someone even do that?"
"I know I'm not very smart," Ayano said in a hushed voice, and for a moment, he was taken aback by how serious she sounded. "How is it possible to make a theory on an emotion that varies from person to person?"
Silent. Her grin was smaller now, and her attention was on the paper. His focus went from the paper, to the girl, and to his desk in a span of a minute. Then the girl broke into a bigger smile, as if satisfied at last.
"But you know, it's okay to try!" The cheerful tone sounded forced for a second, but he wasn't able to comment on it before she continued. "I hope that with this, other people will be happy and smiling pretty soon!"
He thought it was crazy, and impossible. A theory on happiness?
But the girl seemed set on her plan. Scribbling away even more, he watched her and took a bite out of his sandwich. He won't question it anymore.
What makes a good person?
Because whatever it was, she never had it.
If she was a good person, she wouldn't have broken her promise.
If she was a good person, she wouldn't have left him.
In this world.
Alone.
Warmth stuck onto his skin, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. The summer-y feel of his old classroom nagged him, and so he drew his eyes to the girl in the red scarf, staring at him with her favored red eyes.
"So this was your plan all along." Those were the words that managed to escape his mouth. He had died, the memories of pain and disgust and hurt flashing before his eyes a few moments ago.
"I'm sorry I died," she said, a gentle and soft voice gracing her words. "Do you want to go back?"
"No, not yet." Impulse wanted Shintaro to take her hand, but his conscious held him back. He wasn't even sure if she was a ghost or something, and it'd be pretty bad to have his hand pass through. "I still have questions."
"You get one question." The girl put her hands behind her back, rocking back and forth on the balls of her heels, her scarf swaying slightly. "We don't have much time."
"Did you ever finish your theory?"
"My theory…?" The girl cast a look of thought before coming to terms with his question. "Ah, that!"
"Well, did you?"
A smile. A smile he hadn't seen so long, it reminded him of those days. It reminded him of what could have been, and the settling regret he harbored because of it. It seemed as bright and as beautiful like before, and this time, it looked genuine.
"You tell me!" She chirped, tears welling up in her eyes. "Are you happy, Shintaro?"
"I…"
Then the girl wrapped him in her red scarf, laughing as she did. Surprise caught him, but the fabric held him back from slipping and falling. This was the scarf she had declared to be the one for heroes, so did that mean…?
"Shall we say our farewells?"
What makes a good person?
Nothing.
Nothing, because no one can ever be good.
There will be secrets, and lies, and deception.
Nothing makes a good person.
And whatever it was, neither of them had it.
A white summer dress was what Ayano wore that day. Looking over the city at the roof of her school, clinging onto the railings, she held up her hand so that the sun's rays wouldn't go into her eyes. Beside her, Shintaro had managed not to die up the flight of stairs, and they stood in a silence.
Reflection. That was what the summer day called for. A reflection of what they were, who they were, and what had happened. And now, without any regrets, he reached for her empty hand, and she grasped it back tightly, signaling that she was okay with it.
"What do you plan to do with that now?" The girl's other hand contained her signature red scarf, billowing in the wind along with her hair and dress. "It's kind of hot for that, you know."
"I know!" This time, the happiness seemed real. "Ah, but it has so many memories…"
"Well, no need to worry about that now," Shintaro replied, and Ayano cast him a confused look. He pointed to his head, saying, "Recordings, you know? Memories are all stored here."
"Oh, that's right!" She laughed, a bit longer than what was needed. "Hmm…I have an idea!"
She held it out over the railings, letting it waver freely in the wind before letting go. It fell down a couple of feet before the wind swept it away, heading at an unknown direction. The two of them watched it go, and for a moment, all was peaceful.
"I think it's safe to say that my theory is finished," Ayano said finally, breaking the quiet. "We're happy, right?"
There were no second thoughts from the boy.
"Right."