This is my first fic ever so all the mistakes are mine (also I'm not a native speaker). Hope you'll enjoy it.
Based on the song by Jaymay, Grey or Blue
It's been one year since I've come to LA. Anya, Nyko and I decided that it will be a great opportunity to get more recognition since our band was making its debut album. And we were right, our first album was quite successful for an indie band like ours. We met some great people here, many of them being also musicians. At first we only knew my cousin Lincoln but then we met his girlfriend Octavia, her brother Bellamy and her band mates Raven and Clarke. We became quite close, not only we hung out and partied but also we had concerts together at local bars. I'm a very closed off person so I was surprised to get along so well with these girls, I felt it from the start though that they will become very dear to me. But of course my feelings had to ruin something…Because let's talk about my feelings towards Clarke because she is….I don't even have a good enough word to describe her, she is hot, smart, funny and damn talented.
That brings me here at Octavia's house, staying by the window and watching rain pouring outside; it is very calming, or it should be but right now I just can't seem to think at anything but what happened last week; I keep looking at my friends and how they play cards, they sing, joke and laugh; I can't bring myself to go there and face her, cannot face her especially near him.
But first let me explain what happened last week. We had decided to hang out and go to our regular pub and celebrate the end of our first rounds of concerts. Everybody was there, and drinking….a lot. I remember already losing it after the third shot of tequila (let's not forget about the many glasses of vodka before those). So yeah, I was near her all night long (Finn not being there luckily), and she was so beautiful and captivating, she made me laugh so much and to make it worse we decided to dance - which thinking about it now, probably wasn't my best decision because that girl can dance and damn her body, her hips, her hair and let's not forget about that beautiful smile. She got me there, I was hypnotized and my brain went overdrive, after a few songs I had to get out of there, take a break from her. So I did, I went outside to take a breath of fresh air. My heart rate was getting normal and that was until I heard her calling my name.
"Lexa, are you ok?" she said looking worried. "Yeah I'm fine, I just had to get some fresh air because the bar is so full I just couldn't breathe" I answered avoiding her eyes. "Hey I know something is wrong, you know you can tell me right?" she said getting closer and rising up my chin. Damn be those eyes! They are such a unique colour that always have me mesmerized, still can't decide if they are blue or grey. "I…I'm fine" I said just realizing how close we were, I felt her breath on my face and saw her looking at my lips. What was happening? And then I felt her soft lips over mine and it was like I was in a dream, not fireworks or stars, I just felt like I was on a cloud. As soon as it started, it was over just as fast. We stayed in silence, looking at each other, we were slightly out of breath and just like that, our moment was broken when Raven came looking for us. "Guys are you ok, we were worried when we couldn't see you anywhere?" she asked oblivious to what she's walked into. "Yeah we are good. Let's go inside." Clarke said already walking towards the entrance.
And that was it! And it was a week ago. Not a single word from her about what happened, we exchanged pleasantries because we hang out in the same circle of friends, but that was it. Even if we are in the same room, hanging out with the same people, she won't even look my way and it hurts because before this we were really good friends, we were bickering back and forth and she always knew how to push my buttons. And it doesn't help the fact that Finn is all over her and she lets him although she doesn't seem to be there full heartedly but I might be just projecting. And again I can't seem to get over her beauty, even if she is dressed with a pair of black jeans and a grey hoodie, she looks gorgeous as ever. I may be a bit creepy but I just love how her eyes sparkle when she starts to tell a story, how her hand gestures get wild while she tries to illustrate a particular part of the story. I think she felt my stare because she looked towards me but just as fast she looked the other way. I decided last night that I won't do anything, the ball is in her court, it's all up to her if something will happen between us, but I wish with all my being that she will just say something, because that kiss meant something to her also.
Two weeks later
Still nothing about what happened, although we started talking again and make jokes which comforts me a little because, even if nothing will happen between us, she will continue to be my friend.
We have a concert at the local bar, we went first and now the girls are on the stage. Of course I act like a creeper again, which I know has to stop not only for obvious reasons but I need somehow to get over her (I promise I will stop tomorrow); I watch her sing with the passion that she always shows and she just captivates everybody's attention (which helped diminishing my level of creepiness), her body moves in sync with the rhythm, her voice is on point and she is both sexy and captivating. It's their last song and she keeps looking at me, I want to turn away because honestly it kinda hurts that she is looking towards me with such an intensity and something that I can't decipher, and knowing that nothing will ever happen between us. After a couple of minutes I just couldn't torture myself anymore and I left, I just had to be away from her for a bit.
Outside it was raining of course, but it did not bother me much because in that moment I could focus on the raindrops falling on my coat rather than her pricing eyes. As I was walking, I felt a hand gripping my wrist, I was ready to hit that person when I realised it was her; "Lexa wait…" she said letting go of my wrist, "Why did you leave?" she asked again looking at me with those beautiful eyes, "You know why…" I murmured not wanting to actually say the reason, so she continued talking "Remember when we went with the gang at that cottage by the lake?" she asked and I nodded and wondered where she went with this "We had known each other for about six months, you were like a best friend to me even though we knew each other for little time. But I remember hanging out with you, watching the sunset together, cooking and pranking the others. I think then I realised that I love you because I wanted to spend all my time with you and make you feel good, make you laugh. But that also scared me, I didn't want to ruin our friendship, the special thing we have together, because of my insecurities and because I am a relationship destructor. I was with Finn because it was easier but I realised it was not fair to him also so yeah we broke up yesterday. But I had enough, I can't do this anymore Lexa, I want to take this chance if you allow it; I want to be here for you, I want to be able to hold you, kiss you and cuddle with you while we watch movies. God I hope I'm not making a fool of myself and that you fe..." I ended her rambling with a soft kiss to which she answered and we started kissing with more passion than our first kiss. "Yes, yes for everything" I said when we parted, with our foreheads touching and rain pouring.
The end