The Dalton Common room was always fill to the brim once 4pm hit, and today was no exception. Every surface was covered with forgotten text books and broken ball point pens, while the boys laughed and chatted loudly with the relief of classes done and time to relax. The Warblers, as per usual, occupied the corner of the room with the piano, humming and tapping their feet along with Blaines lead.

As more and more people wandered into the room the noise got louder and louder. There were no seats left to find, and a simple task like walking from one side of the room to the other was made difficult by people stretched out on the carpet.

Blaine sat in front of the piano, playing the first few keys of the new choice for Sectionals.

"The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly

But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here"

The Warblers all blended in with their harmonies, and silence spread through the room with a domino like effect. This was going to be good, they could all feel it.

"I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly"

Blaine glanced up from the piano, searching for one particular pair of eyes. It was all automatic, he knew that Kurt would be standing to the left of him- In the perfect position for romantic eye contact in love songs. They'd only been dating for less than 2 months, but it had been 2 of the most amazing months in Blaines life.

He loved everything about Kurt. He loved his eyes, that when they connected with his were an endless blue. He loved how he fidgeted and wrung his fingers together when he was nervous, and still managed to look impossibly graceful. He loved how he ironed his uniform, when literally no one else did or cared. He loved the way he poked his pink tongue out the corner of his mouth when he was concentrating hard on something, so namely when he was doing his hair. He loved how when Kurt was talking about something important to him, it was difficult to do anything but give Kurt his undivided attention. He loved how when they shared pieces of cake or chocolate chip cookies in coffee shops Blaine always somehow ended up with the bigger half.

And he loved how Kurt loved him back, just as sweetly and strongly, like nothing in the whole world could come between the 2 boys.

In fact he could hardly think anything he didnt love about Kurt. Apart from- Damnit. Not Again.

He stopped playing and stretched around, scanning the room even though he knew he wouldnt be able to find him. Kurt was gone. One minute there, gone the next and with no GoodBye or any warning. Blaine glanced at the ground and saw the in-perfect-condition brown leather satchel that belonged to Kurt still in its usual place, next to his customised Dalton Scarf. He would only forget them if he was in a rush. If he was running away from something.

And then he realised everyone was staring at him, no surprisingly considering he just stopped playing the song he was playing half way though. He stood up, laughing awkwardly, and grabbed his bag and Kurts.

"I just realised I'm really late for something... Important? Yeah. An appointment. An important appointment." Blaine mumbled, "Sorry, I'll see you guys later. Wes, you can take over for me?"

Not waiting for a response he side stepped out the closest door and went to put his things in his room before starting his search for Kurt.

Confusion. Fear. Suffocation.
Kurt was gripped with an all-consuming feeling. The feeling that this was NOT okay, and that no one should ever have to feel like this. His back and neck was tense, shoulders bent and fists tight. Tears screamed down his face and his heart thumped impossibly fast in his chest. He curled into a ball on the floor and gasped for breath. Nothing could possibly feel worse that this. Every fiber in Kurts body cried out with hopelessness.

The classroom was dark, the lights off and curtains drawn. The desks were all in their perfectly straight rows, chairs all tucked in and any mess well gone. It looks strangely robotic to anyone from a public school, but all the Dalton boys took pride in their schools immaculate appearance. The clock ticked over to 5 o'clock, and the hallways outside was silent- Apart from one set of footsteps. Kurt knew that they belonged to Blaine.

When there was seemed to be nothing solid, nothing certain in Kurts life there was always that one thing- Blaines loyalty. Everytime that Kurt freaked out and ran away from situations Blaine was always there, always looking for him and knowing exactly what to say. But that couldn't make it better, that silence helplessness that constantly kept its place at the back of Kurts mind.

Kurt knew that their 2 months wasn't long enough to justify anything big, but that didn't make them unimportant. He loved so many things about Blaine. How he only bit one of his nails (the pinky nail on his right hand) when he was feeling stressed, so all of his nails were perfect except just that one. How he walked with his headphones on, his steps subconsciously going to the beat. How, when they went to coffee shops, he drank his drink super slowly and then complained when the bit at the bottom was cold. How he always spoke up when something was annoying him. How he never seemed to let a day pass by without making the most of it.

And Kurt loved how Blaine loved him back, with a passion that Kurt could only relate to true love.

But that none of that changed anything. Kurt still hid. He hated Blaine seeing him like this, seeing his when he was at his weakest. And it was all getting worse, all getting too much. He was starting to hate crowded corridors, loud groups, being in places where things were likely to happen out of this control. He'd tried to deal with it today, standing beside the piano and telling himself to just breath and not be silly. That didn't stop his chest getting tighter though, and his eyes tear up. He got out just in time, leaving his things behind and running down the corridors until he found a dark corner to sit down and be surrounded by his feelings.

The door opened, and Kurt kept silent as the light turned on and Blaine stepped into the room, his eyes searching under each desk and in every corner. His heart skipped a beat as he saw Kurts fragile frame over under the window, curled up. Their eyes met, and Blaine knew immediately that it was happening again. Kurts anxiety, a panic attack. He slowly stepped over, and put his arms on either of Kurts shoulders, gently shifting his body onto the floor and laying his out. Blaine sat crossed legged next to him, not saying anything but getting hold of his hand and just being there.

Kurts breath came back, lying on his back with his shoulders straight and tears still falling. His heart rate slowed, and some of the fear began to ease. This was beginning to happen to often, the attacks. He couldn't help how he felt. He didn't want to cry. He didn't want to shake, to fidget, and to not be able to meet Blaines' eyes. His mind and body was at war- his mind urging his eyes to stop tearing up and his hands to stay where they were, while his body persistently conflicted his wishes and continued riding his anxious reflexes.

And that song. Blaine was humming it under his breath now. It was laiden with pressure.

"But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone"

It opened a whole new idea of fear. Everything has an end, everything good has to stop somewhere. And where was that for Kurt and Blaine? When will he get sick of coming to find me, Kurt couldn't help but think, When will he stop wanting me? All they were was a romantic song waiting for the moment when everything dies down and the next artist comes along.

So there they sat. For how ever long Kurt needed, there they would stay. Just being calm, just being together. For now. Just together.

"Babe, Are you feeling Okay now?" Blaines voice was soft, full of concern. "Do you need something to eat? I could go get you something. Or maybe just to go to sleep now?"

"Sleep. I'm just so exhausted. Constantly. Oh Blaine, what am I going to do?" Kurt said, as he watched Blaine stand up and accepted his hand, being pulled to his feet and then holding it as they left the classroom. "I'm so scared. All the time, I can hardly ask a question in class or eat in front of people. I'm so worried. Constantly. Every second of the day I'm thinking of what people think of me, reasoning to myself why everyone hates me and how much of a failure I am. That's the honest truth. Thats me with my walls down for this moment. Blaine. Blaine. I'm so lost".

Blaine stopped walking, and turned to Kurt. He kissed him lightly and softly on the lips.

Blaine looked straight into his eyes and said, "Kurt. Stop this. You're amazing. You are everything beautiful and pure and perfect. Stop doubting yourself. This is silly. You know that you're being irrational!".

"I know its irrational. But that doesn't stop the thoughts. Thats doesn't stop the constantly humming of anxiety in my chest, or the images of mocking in head. Theres nothing I can do. I am so helpless".

"I don't you to feel weird about this," Blaine chose his words carefully. "But I've actually been looking up some things on the internet. I think maybe you should go see someone, do some therapy. You've gone through tough stuff Kurt, stuff no one should have too. All the pressure was going to catch up to you at some point, right? So maybe its time to so something about it. I can sort it out for you. If you want to do it. Is that Okay? Kurt?"

Kurts face was blank. He stood still for a moment, and then let go of Blaines hand. He wrapped his lanky arms around his boyfriends torso and buried his face in his shoulder. Blaine just stood there and held him, a faint smile on his lips as he heard Kurt mumble "Yes, that would be Okay. Thank you".

Blaine had been waiting for the right moment and if this wasn't it, well, then he would be very surprised.

"Kurt? I, urh, I love you".

Kurt threw his head back in shock, and stared at Blaine with wide eyes.

"What?"

"I love you".

"Oh. Well, Urh. Argh. Uhm. I love you Blaine. Really. I love you too".

And then somehow everything, for that moment, everything was okay.

TBC

It is ACTUALLY REALLY REALLY HARD to write about the characters I love so much. I want to do it some justice. Hopefully you guys thought it was alright :)

And read the next chapter, because I think its a ton better than this one. Onwards and upwards from here.

Reviews are love.