Authors Note: Something a little different. This is a series of four disjointed moments in time between three characters which will ultimately bring them together.
Trapped
Sirius
It wasn't like I was one to speak about my problems in earnest. Infact, most of the time I was content to just plaster a smile on my face and pretend all was right with the world. This very moment in time, that very response was proving to be the hardest thing I have ever tried to do.
The walls were closing in on me, the bars on the windows so similar to bars I had watched with grim intent for twelve long years, it caused my chest to constrict and my heart to pound in double time to try and cope with the pain.
I knew people were beginning to stare, I knew my own Godson kept looking at me with disappointment lacing his features, yet nothing he, or anyone else could do, would help me now. I was just another victim of the war, like everyone else in this room, and I was being selfish to think of myself as any kind of exception.
I wanted to scream, to shout - to rant and rave and make everyone understand. There was no break for me between the two wars that had rocked our secluded little world. No rest, no breath of air, no sigh of relief. I had been caught in the grip of my own personal battle for over twenty years and I didn't know how to move on; didn't know if I could move on.
I am sure people just expected me to miraculously recover, to pretend it never happened and joke about it, like they all could now, like I would have once done. Glancing at Harry, I can see that expectation; that pleading look to not ruin this moment for him, to be the man he needed and wanted me to be on his wedding day.
Giving him what I hoped was a smile of reassurance, but was probably more of a grimace; I tried not to reflect on how similar this situation was to one I had been in not long after Graduation. Sweet Merlin he looked like James, standing before a man of god with his fiery beauty. I wanted to be happy for him, but all this day was doing was dredging up painful memories.
Another glance out the barred and tinted windows was a reminder of just what my actions had cost James. Despite the fact that I was innocent when it came to their deaths, I still had years of imprisonment and public resentment to make me feel the guilt that ripped through my chest like a constant hum.
My head began to spin as visions of red headed women in white dresses and long lost faces, mingled with gleaming black bars haunted me. I wanted to get out; I needed to get out.