Prologue:
The Dogerman:
It was best of time it was worst of time.
It was time of little caesars, it was time of saltine crackers.
It was age of runescape, it was age of no internet.
It was time of glorious friendship slaying hellhounds, it was time of solitary rune mining.
It was time with "p's", it was time without "p's".
It was time of white phat, it was time of dragon spear.
It was time of grinding , it was time of maple husband.
It was time of jewing people out of money, it was time of skillfully dodging the cybering.
It was time dungeoneering, it was time of dungeoneering.
It was time of boomer bile here, it was time of 5 dollar uninstall
It was time of ponies, it was time of saying that he was going to make best star trek character with santa hat but never did.
It was time of smw hacking, it was time of a storm brewing.
It was time of great historic pieces of literature, it was time of getting banned
It was time of using own computer to play league of legends, it was time of using dave's pc to play league of legends.
It was time of coolest guy in world, It was time of fat kid h4r0ld…..
The internet…. The final frontier
These are the tales of the Doggamen
His mission; to explore strange new ways to troll. To seek out lesser life and braindead Brazillian populations. To boldy go to the elo where no man has gone before.
Cue Music:
watch?v=hdjL8WXjlGI&feature=player_detailpage#t=30s
On a cold morning in Nigerlock NC where the doggamen traneing to became the guy oops I man SAS optiv. He was a stoic man, he was a quiet man, he was a calculator man, he was a digiman, or no… he was the doggaman. On this morning doggamen waked up and seeed it was beautiful day outside but not really since loud jets flying over house waking him up. He wake up from imstrentutents day of pony making and ask himself wat he wanna do today; except he never states that he "knows what he wants to do today" because it remind him of BAD TIME. Doggamen was tall slender guy in him early 20's and looked like handsome dude guy (I dont described because I don't want to ruin ur imagination like spongebob sayed). He had patch of gray on him beard denoting he was very wise guy and also half blind in one eye because all cool people are blind in on eye it just FACT; OKAY?
Doggamen hopped out of bed and jumped on him cpu almost immediately and check him smwc forum for any new developments in hack time day. He make reading of many postings but only replies in srs face manner and never troll on here because it him secret live that he cherish and don't want to GET THE BAN from supreme ruler dude guy fusoya. No one really otherwise know why the doggerman make personality change when on here and not make the trolling; perhaps it was because it is what is; as the sky is blue, as the grass is green, and the anty is autistic. He then get on skipe and see if fat nerds are on and only his friend form IRC was on and he didn't want to RP with him because he had enough of that with his maple husband ;). He deciding to get offed and was like "yo im hungry" and it was around noon time and decide to go out for a stroll down to Little C's and check out hot pizza chick 69420 and get some ns pepperoni pizza. He made sure to put on his favorite turquoise blue panther's shirt. This routine was frequented by the doggamen. If anything; doggamen was a creature of habit and it was his wont to take these strolls, be it to get some pizza, to see his fat kid brother oops I mean handsome dude guy which we will talk about later, or see his long lost burger palace friend who works at the burger palace who always tells him that panthers have a good chance of winning; but they secretely don't, because the doggamen knows better...
The doggamen subsequently heads out and gets some pizza and theres always some hot pizza chick working at litel c because they cant get job elsewhere or something I don't know. After he get back home, dogga enjoy very nice pizza eating time and then contemplate what his best friend in the whole world was doing in med school because he is so cool and the author is not being biased in saying this because this is factual information. Dogga men gets back on his cpu and sees fat kid Harold is not on yet so he decides to get on good old jarjarbinks69 and play some league of legends ranked.
Doggamen queues up and decides the find the perfect way to throw and decides to pick the rat to play with. Diglemen went to invade the jungle with his invisible skill and then hueheuahreueha out of stealth and attacks nunu and then their whole team attacks him and feeds. Then "support" talon comes into lane and tries to get kills but then blames twitch for it. At around 30 mins in digglemens team starts doing team fights and digglement goes to farm bottom and his team throws… or did they? TW! NOT IN TEAM FIGHT (in deepest BR voice possible) and doger respond with a classic "stop yell make cry1!" and then him team surrender because goodfight. After a successful throw, digglemaster wants to queu up for another round but then his fat bro was like yo im back from flipping burgers get off my CPU! And then digglemen was a sad man and went on his solemn way. Dogerman then proceeded to do all his room chores but him brother still making the yelling at he for not sweeping the floor right and even though it was him brother job to making the clean and him fault for it being the dirty. And then all of sudder BANJO ATTACK. Banjo attack the blind's cable, banjo attack the computer cable, banjo attack the Pablo roaches, banjo attack dave's cpu. It was a panic. Doger try to console him brother for banjo attack but secreelty when no one look dogermen pet the banjo and say good boy. And then kitten gets jealouse and starts meowing because it is a fat kat like Ceterina.
It was near night time now and dogerman was fiending to playing a game other than maple or something because he was bored and snkeaed on daves pc finally. He see fat jew kid Harold was on playing and they queue together. They decide to play a real ranked game and try hard. Chippy picks lee sin and doger picks jax because jax op. Doger wrecks him top lane getting so many kills without ganks and chippy decides to gank bottom lane who on his team was ezreal/sona. Lee sin sits in the bush in river and sees enemy vayne and blitz. He lands his q and then kicks to vayne and ezreal jumps in and fights that vayne kid. Chippy then gets pulled by crankmaster and launched in the air. And the ifght begins to go south. Jax seed this and then travels down bot lane. Ez and sona get nuked to low health but lee chases them to turret chippy decides to dive but then feeds and doesn't get the kill. Dogerman comes down bot and get a souble kill down bot. and then ez and sona make fun of lee in ther br voices (report noob jung..) and then the loudest screech of nerd rage could be heard through skype it almost perforate doger's eardrums. It was so loud that Vack in all his med school study glory could have swore he heard it. Doger had to log off league because of such rage and hue'd all the way through the rage. After such fun, dogerman decided to call it a day, but not before writing in his diary about how much he missed him best friend vack and cannot wait until they day they reunite… one day… Hue.