I do not own Kingdom hearts even though that would be awesome. I'm am only a lowly fan writing fanfiction. Please review! I'd appreciate it!
XIII
"Axel?" This is such an odd question... should I ask it anyway?
"What?" he seems slightly annoyed that I stopped him mid bite into his sea-salt ice cream.
"What do people do when they're in love?" He seems a little shocked at the question.
"Lots of stupid stuff,"
"Like what?"
"Umm... like hugging. And kissing. And other stuff..." He seemed a bit embarrassed when he said 'other stuff'.
"Oh. Have you ever done that stuff with someone else, Axel?"
"No. Don't got a heart to love with,"
"Why does a heart matter?"
"People," He spits out, " Feel with their hearts. The only thing we have are memories of feelings, got it memorized?"
"Then why do I- umm, I mean how come I 'feel' stuff"
"You don't. Those feelings are ghosts of what you felt while you were human," The information is so cold it stings.
"But how can I remember a feeling when I can't remember anything else! If I can remember 'feelings' why can't I remember who I was?"
"I... don't know, Roxas. Are you talking about general feelings?"
"ummm... no... I mean like love," Axel looks as awkward as ever. I feel like I should just jump off the clock tower and end this already.
"...If you don't mind me asking... Who do you think you're in love with?" I look down, realizing that the ground is probably the perfect distance for me to go splat if I jumped off. I got up and walked away from the edge, preparing myself for a running leap. Instead I walked back as Axel was looking more than a little confused and I hugged him. I stayed there for a long time just with my arms around his waist and my head resting on his shoulder. I let go and look at Axel's response. He's just sitting there, still as stone. And he seems awfully uncomfortable. I took my WINNER stick out of my pocket and put it in his open hand.
"Bye, Axel," Silence. I turned around and left him up there. I felt like I was saying goodbye to my life, my friendship with him, and these days up on the clock tower with him. It feels like I've lost a part of me, a part that I've left with him. My 'feelings' for him, my 'heart' that I will never have, my love that I will never have. All of it. I reach the bottom of the tower and walk into a portal I made.
"Farewell," I whisper. I'm almost gone when I hear:
"ROX-"And then I'm gone.
XIII
"Xion, I'm here," I walk into Xion's room where she's still asleep. I put a new sea shell next to her pillow like she did for me. I want her to wake up so I can have someone to talk to and sit with me to watch the sunset. Ever since that day up on the tower with Axel I've been avoiding him. I don't want to hear him go on about how I can't feel and that I need a heart and that I can't love. I can feel without a heart, and I hopelessly love him. But I've requested to Saix to let me go on solo missions for a while at least.
"I went to a new world today, Xion. You would love the place," I smile at her. "Everything was absolutely wacky. There was this pink cat that talked, and a talking door knob, and these really colorful heartless," I tell her all about wonderland and all its oddities.
"Well, bye Xion. I hope you wake up soon," I walk out of her room and go to my own to sleep for the night. I pass Axel in the hall and walk faster towards my room, keeping my eyes down. As I'm passing him he turns and pins me to the wall.
"You've been avoiding me," he says this casually while my arms are above my head and I'm trying to squirm free. He grabs my face with his free hand and forces me to look at him.
"First you proclaim your love for me and then you avoid me? Maybe you really can't feel," He smirks at the last part, hinting that it's a joke.
"You seemed to not like the idea," After I say that Axel looks at me for a long time. Then he slowly lowers his face and touches his lips to mine.
"I never said anything," he says after he pulls away.
"Exactly,"
"Well don't trust my body language ok?"
"Yeah, I got it memorized," Then we laughed for a long time.