"I have no plans to pursue any sort of personal relationship with you, so know it as that. I'm sorry if you had any fantasies about me."
Those words cut through my heart as Seven said them to me, but I could see the pain in his eyes as he said them. He didn't want to say any of that, he didn't even believe his own words. He wanted to protect me from his dangerous life…I knew he said those things because he wanted to push me away, but he couldn't hide how he felt, not when he was standing in front of me, in the flesh, close enough to touch.
He'd shut me out soon after we chased off his brother, and though I had too many questions to even be able to sleep, I left him to his work and I tried to get into bed. A bed that wasn't even mine. I shut my eyes and let out a sigh. Just over a week ago, I'd lived in a different world. I didn't know any of the people of the RFA and no attempts had ever been made on my life. I wasn't in love with the mysterious handsome man now sitting in the living room of a strange apartment that obviously used to house an even stranger woman.
But the only thing on my mind currently was that I couldn't push Seven out of my heart the way he wished I would. He thought hurting my feelings would be enough to push me away, but I'd show him that love was a two way street. He felt the same way as I did, I knew he did. I knew it the moment we met eyes for the first time. I lay there, staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours, until I couldn't take it anymore.
I got up and moved resolutely toward the living room when I heard him finally getting up from the corner he'd holed himself into. He turned when he heard me approaching him, and I knew he had some kind of flippant comment ready to throw in my face in case I attempted to speak to him, but the words died on his lips when he saw the determined look in my eyes. I would not back down from something we both obviously wanted.
I took in a deep breath as I gathered my thoughts and I decided to just go for it.
"Luciel…I understand why you said what you did, but it still doesn't change my mind. I can't stop feeling the way that I feel about you." I moved closer to him as I spoke, until we were less than a foot apart, and I didn't shy away from eye contact.
Up close, his honey colored eyes were so intense that they nearly made me lose my breath, but I wouldn't show weakness when he so desperately kept trying to push me away. He was beautiful inside and out, no matter what he thought about himself.
He opened his mouth to begin to argue, but I wasn't going to hear it. I had a feeling that just talk wasn't going to get me anywhere here, so I reached up and lightly touched his lips, getting a shiver from the suddenly intimate contact. He was silenced immediately, and the surprise flashed in his eyes at my action, but I wouldn't back down.
Maybe all of this was a little crazy, but I was almost kidnapped and then almost had died that night! I think I was entitled to a little crazy. My voice got a little hushed, and I let my hand then slide lightly to his cheek, getting a thrill from the feeling of his soft skin under my fingertips, "If you feel like I'll be in danger if we were involved, I'll let you go when you leave this apartment. But…at least give me tonight."
My heart was hammering as he closed his eyes and went very still under my touch. I hoped I hadn't pushed too far, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted him. I wanted him in every way that I could want a person, and something in me wouldn't just let him leave without at least acknowledging what had grown between us.
When he finally opened his eyes, I could see tears forming there, and his voice cracked slightly on his reply, "MC…I can't do this. I don't deserve this…someone like me doesn't deserve anyone, especially not someone as good as you."
I wouldn't give up, especially since he didn't push me away. I moved my other hand then to rest on his chest, and I found his heart pounding under my touch. How could I step away when I could literally feel how much I was affecting him?
I shook my head and then let the hand that was on his face run slowly into his hair, and even this little bit of contact was enough to make my breath catch in my throat, and my voice got even softer, "Luciel, please…"
His face was unconsciously drifting closer to mine, so I used the hand that was in his hair to draw him toward me as I tilted my head up. It was almost as though we were moving in slow motion, but our lips met in a feather light kiss that made a strong sensation rush through my whole body. We held the kiss a few moments and finally parted to draw in breath.
The only sound I heard was our breathing as we looked into each other's eyes, and though his were still a little shiny with his tears, there was more than just sadness there now. Nervousness, anxiousness, desire…he might have been confused about what he was feeling when we chatted online, but here, it was only too obvious to see that we both felt the same way.
I needed more, we both needed it. I pulled him in for another kiss, and finally, it was like a dam broke in him, and he reached forward to draw me close to his body as our lips met far more passionately this time. There might have been doubts, but I didn't want those doubts coming between us this night. There would be a lot to figure out in the coming days, but this night would be our night.
I'd never gotten so intimate with someone I knew for so short a time ever in my life, but something about Luciel just drew me in. Nothing about him or the RFA was normal, so perhaps our love couldn't be very normal either. I didn't mind that in the slightest.
I let my hands run over his body, deepening our kiss as I felt my breathing get heavier. To finally touch this way after everything we'd said to each other through texts and chats and phone calls and especially after what had just happened, was heaven. Maybe he had been hesitant before coming here to start anything with me due to all the worries in his life, but I could tell he was all in now, his lips sending jolts of sensation all the way down my spine as he began to kiss my neck.
"Luciel…" I gasped his name and gripped a little tighter in his hair, trying to keep my senses about me, but it was so easy to feel overwhelmed.
He planted one more slow hot kiss on my neck before meeting eyes with me, the look even more intense than it had been just a few moments ago, and if my breath hadn't already been stolen with how close we were, it certainly would have been then.
"MC…I feel…so stirred up, I…" Doubt entered his eyes as he gulped, but he continued speaking breathlessly, "I've never felt like this. I-I don't know what I'll do if I-I— "
I softly shushed him, gently caressed his cheek and replied, my own cheeks red both with embarrassment and excitement, "I wouldn't stop you, no matter what you want. I want you."
With my hand on his chest, I felt his breath hitch and his whole body shuddered before he dived in for another kiss. He couldn't control himself, and honestly, I wasn't sure I could either. It was as though fuel was thrown on the fire, and nothing would stop it till everything burned down.
Maybe in my normal life, I wasn't nearly this forward, but I knew that right now, there wasn't anything more I needed than Luciel. I just needed him. Our kisses deepened even more and my whole body started to feel hot. I was fairly certain no one had ever made me feel like this, and I couldn't even think of stopping now that I'd felt this. I reached up to gently remove his glasses and headphones and set them aside on a nearby table, and then I began pulling him toward the bed.
Oh, I never ever did anything like pulling someone I knew only for days right to bed, but this would be happening. After this roller coaster of emotion I'd been on for the past week, I needed this. At first, Luciel seemed dazed by our kisses, but when he realized where we were going, he gasped in a way that only made me want him more, "MC…are you sure? Should we…?"
His face was so red in a way that honestly would have been cute if I wasn't already so worked up and I couldn't help but smirk just slightly and keep pulling him, "Come on."
The breathy moan he made in response to my words made me shiver in my own anticipation, and at that point, our kisses were getting so deep and messy, but I couldn't care less. When I felt my legs come into contact with the bed, I knew that I couldn't waste much time. I hoped beyond hope that we would be able to overcome whatever was causing Luciel to hold himself back from pursuing something between us, but I wanted to make this time be the best time, if we never could have anything beyond this.
Those thoughts made my heart clench, so I put them aside for the time being. I would only focus on how sexy Luciel was as he looked at me that way, and since this appeared to be his first time at any of this, I wanted to give him every pleasure I possibly could so that he could have no doubt about how I felt for him.
I made sure I met eyes with him, letting him see how much I wanted him, and I drew my jacket off slowly and threw it to the side, getting a thrill at the way his eyes followed my every movement. My hands trembled as I controlled my urge just to jump on top of him, and I slowly turned, giving him an inviting look as I motioned to the zipper for my dress.
I had to say that I felt flattered when I heard how heavily he was breathing as he came close to me again, his hands so gentle and nervous as he attempted to grasp the small and delicate zipper to open it. It took him a few tries to even get a hold of it properly, but another thrill ran down my spine as I felt his fingers lightly brushing all the way down my back when he pulled it down. He wasn't the only one that was nervous here, though he wouldn't be the only one getting to see more.
I let the dress slide off of me and I kicked that aside as well, and I turned to face him again. The way his pupils dilated when he took in the sight of me in only my underwear made me blush out of my control, and then he rested shaking hands on my sides, his voice quivering as he spoke, "You're beautiful, MC. Gorgeous…"
I smiled a little shyly then, never much knowing how to react to genuine compliments of that sort, and then I whispered back, "I want to see you, too."
I reached up to slide his jacket off of him first and then let my hands run slowly down his chest. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh at my touch, and I knew I wanted to give him more. I let my hands move down to the bottom of his shirt and I made sure to drag my hands over his skin as I pushed it upward, just wanting all of his clothes out of my way all at once, even this small wait making me feel more anxious.
In my haste to get his shirt off of him, his cross was getting drawn off of him too, but he reached up to grab a hold of it and he breathed out with a little chuckle, "Let's leave this where it is. I feel like God gave you to me, so…"
I couldn't help but smirk a little at his twisted sense of humor, and I locked him in another kiss, letting my hands run over his back now, feeling all of his muscles tensing under my touch, now that nothing was in the way. His hands were running up my back now too, and he was kissing my neck again, and everything in my world was perfect.
Though, it wouldn't be perfect for long…we both needed more than just this, if the feeling of him pressing against my thigh told me anything. I shivered on locking eyes with him one more time, my hands then moving to the hem of his pants to fight with his button and zipper, my excitement making it very hard to coordinate my fingers enough to quickly open them. I finally won the fight, unzipping his pants and pushing them down.
We were both only in our underwear now, and I tried to not feel lightheaded at the fact that this really would be happening between us. Another burst of embarrassment and anxiousness rushed through me as I looked at him, but I didn't want to stop. With a shy look, I moved to sit on the bed and I invited him to join me by patting the area next to me. He made a small noise that sounded both like a sigh and moan that just made me shiver and crawled next to me, and I could do nothing but lock his lips again.
Now every kiss and every touch made me feel like there was molten lava running through my veins even when I had so few clothes. I shifted us so that he would be laying on his back and I gave him another little smirk, deciding that since I was likely the more experienced one between the two of us, I would show him a thing or two. There was a question in his eyes as he looked up at me, so I leaned by his ear to breathe, "Just relax."
I was nervous, sure, but I wouldn't let him see it, only wanting him to feel good after everything that was dumped on him tonight. It couldn't have been easy to be reacquainted with his brother in this way, and while I didn't understand that whole situation, I would be here to support him in any way that I could. I began to kiss my way now down his neck, down his chest, down to his stomach, then looking up to let him know that my destination was exactly what it looked like it would be.
His eyes widened in understanding, shuddering and moaning, "God, MC…"
I gulped and finally moved my eyes down to his lower half, finding his arousal making quite a tent in his underwear now. I felt flattered again, and so much more anxious. I hoped I could be everything he could have wanted, and with this thought, I began to pull that last article of clothing off of him, tossing that onto the pile of clothes that was now on the floor.
My hand was shaking as I reached out to gently touch him, unable to help taking in every intimate detail about him as I caressed him. He then closed his eyes as he made a sharp sound and I felt him get even harder right in my hand as he gasped, "MC!"
I couldn't help but moan at that erotic sight and I let my hand move over him a little faster as I gripped around him. Maybe it wasn't the first time I'd done something like this, but never had I seen enjoyment like this on my partner's face as I did. If he liked just this so much, I had far more to blow his mind. My face reddened and I half smiled at the thought, and then I shifted to move between his legs and I sighed his name, "Luciel…"
My heart was beating faster, and I got even more anxious. I hoped dearly that he liked what I was doing and what I would do, wanting this to be amazing for him. He deserved nothing less than amazing. I locked eyes with him again, moving my head down toward his arousal, finally giving him a light kiss right on the tip.
I was rewarded by another sharp breath from him, and I knew that I had to keep going. I wanted to give him more. I carefully opened my mouth and began to take him in, not wanting to catch him with my teeth, trying to caress the best I could with my tongue all at the same time. He arched his back and his whole body shuddered again, and he let out a whine that just made my blood run hotter.
I began to move my head up and down at a slow rhythm, not wanting to rush even if I wasn't sure how much longer I could wait. I would have to control myself long enough to give him everything I could. I watched all of his reactions carefully, and seeing him writhing and gripping to the sheets as he tried to stop himself from moaning with every breath, my resolve was cracking more every second.
I began to move my head a little faster, trying to drive even more pleasure through him, and finally he gasped, "MC…oh…I-I'm getting close now, I-I— "
I shuddered and got even more excited to hear his voice so hoarse that it sounded like he was crying, and it was then that I decided that I couldn't wait a moment longer…I wouldn't make either of us wait any more. I carefully brought my mouth off of him and I spoke to him breathlessly, "Luciel…I need you."
My burning look and tone left no question to what I was referring to, and I underlined my point by reaching up to unhook my bra and then down to throw it aside along with my panties, grabbing a hold of his hands to shift us until I was the one laying under him. His face was red with his own excitement and arousal, but there was doubt again as he spoke quietly, "But, MC…you want us t-to…?"
His eyes were then traveling down my whole body then, and I couldn't help but feel a little shy, knowing that the first time anyone saw me naked was a little nerve wracking, since who knew what would be going through anyone's head at seeing me at my most vulnerable? But when I saw nothing resembling disappointment on his face, I let out a breath of relief, and I nodded my head in response to him. It was all so fast and unexpected, but there wasn't a thing I needed more than him right then.
He closed his eyes and took in a shuddery breath, and I was growing more anxious by the second. Would he think this was too fast? Did he think me way too forward? Did I put him off in some way? My mind was racing until he rubbed the back of his head and spoke again with obvious embarrassment on his face, "I've…I've never done anything like this…with anyone. A-And what about protection?"
I let out one more sigh of relief, and I looked at him with obvious adoration on my face and responded with just as much embarrassment, "I don't mind that…I just hope I could be what you want. And…well, I'm on the pill, so…"
I trailed off a little awkwardly, realizing that maybe we should have talked about all of these things before jumping into bed, but things weren't going in a normal way. Everything was happening in a burst of events, and with my life actually being in enough danger that I could possibly not live to see another day, all of those every day concerns seemed so small in comparison.
He was silent for a long moment, presumably considering everything I said, and then his voice shook as he finally spoke again, "Are you really sure? That you…you want…this?"
There was no hesitation in my tone as I replied, reaching out to caress his cheek, "Yes."
He closed his eyes and let out a sigh, murmuring back, "Then…tell me what you want."
I reached up to bury my hands in his hair and pull him down for a hot kiss, arching my back to press my body as much against his as I could manage, and I shuddered to feel so much skin against my own. When my breath ran out, I let myself lay back down on the bed, panting as I let my hands run down to his hips, pulling forward lightly and his arousal lightly brushed against my core, making my whole body spasm as I gasped. It was true that I was reining my own desires in as I tried to make everything as good for Luciel as I could, but just that small contact reminded me so keenly of that fact.
I looked into his eyes and his breath was ragged in response to seeing me like this. He gulped and then he let a hand slowly, hesitantly move up my thigh toward my center and I felt my own breath getting similarly ragged as I felt my gut coil tighter with all the anxiousness that ran through me in that moment. His fingers were so gentle as he ran them over me and he gasped loudly at the feeling.
I realized that he'd never seen or felt anything like this, and my face flushed at that thought. It was so very flattering that he found everything this arousing, but I still felt a bit embarrassed at so much attention being paid to me in such an intimate way. It made me feel good to be pleasuring him this way too, though, and I decided to let him do whatever he wanted, knowing that I would have no complaint with any of it, as impatient as I might have felt to get on with things.
He kept looking into my eyes as he made a slower more testing caress, watching my face so carefully for my responses to everything. His fingers dragged over a part of me that made me gasp and arch my back, and I only got more excited then.
"More…" I found myself begging out of control, but it felt too good to be touched that way, and I didn't want it to stop that quickly.
"Okay…" He breathed back, beginning to rub over that area more quickly, and then it was me who was writhing around and trying desperately to hold on for more, not wanting to be pushed over the edge that quickly.
He kept going and I thought I was losing my mind, gasping whenever I had the mind to actually breathe, and finally I cried, "Luciel, I need you now, I need you!"
I demanded it then, knowing that I'd been worked up to the point that I couldn't wait a single second more. My eyes showed my lust for him, pushed beyond any sort of boundary or reason.
Seeing that look made him moan, "Oh, MC…yes…"
I held tight to his hips then, pulling forward, helping him to aim, my entire body quivering as I slowly took him inside of me. With how aroused I was, that was an easy enough business, but the actual feeling of him inside was something else all together. I could feel his body shaking too as he tried to adapt to the tidal wave of sensation likely going over him, his eyes clenched shut as he braced himself above me, trying to breathe.
"Y-You…you can move…" I managed to force out, my lungs feeling as though they would collapse under the strain of this much sensation and emotion tangling into something I couldn't have any hope of trying to decipher, and really had no intention to.
He could only nod, awkwardly trying to bring his hips backward and then moving in a soft forward thrust, moaning even at that movement. It felt just like a tease and I couldn't help but let out a desperate moan, even if I was trying to keep in mind that he was figuring out how to do this. I wasn't some kind of a computer, so this was likely a completely different world for him.
I was trying my very best to stay patient, but I could feel myself beginning to clench down on him a little tighter just thinking on how much I wanted him. I took a deep breath and tried to get myself under some kind of control, and I could only shakily mutter, "I…won't break."
Luciel made some kind of breathy moan as he also tried to keep his head about him, nodding a little and then trying to rock forward a little farther and a little harder. I let my head fall backward onto a pillow, and I tried to tilt my hips to get the right angle, wanting him just a little deeper. When he thrust forward again, he hit a spot inside of me that made me see stars, and I just moaned loudly, "Yes…yes, right there…"
When I met eyes with him again, he was searching again for the moment he got it just right, trying to thrust with a little more speed now, hitting that spot inside with force and I groaned as my entire body arched out of my control. Maybe that was the sign he was looking for because suddenly he was relentless.
His movements were awkward, but Luciel easily made up for all of that with enthusiasm. I was beyond caring in any way, just so happy to experience something like this with him, to be as close with him as I was in this moment. I was being driven closer and closer to my peak, and I couldn't even think of a single time in my life I felt so good. No one I'd ever been with before had made me feel so good.
I was a panting and moaning mess as I was pushed toward my orgasm, and I cried out his name over and over, taking delight in the fact that his whole body was trembling as he thrust into me, finally begging, "Faster, oh…Luciel, I'm so close, please!"
"Mmm…MC, I can't hold on anymore, I can't— "
That was it for me to hear Luciel's voice in that strained and rough tone, and I felt myself coming hard over him. I moaned his name one more time as he worked me through my orgasm, and then I could just collapse on the bed. My entire body felt like it was made of jelly then, the orgasm was so satisfying. I was half smiling with what little strength I had left, and I pulled him to lay next to me and I breathed, "That was amazing…"
I scooted closer to tuck my face in the crook between his neck and shoulder and I just let myself catch my breath. It was only moments later, when my brain was finally making a comeback, that I realized that Luciel seemed to be crying. Shock was then on my face, and I reached a hand up to wipe away his tears, and I tried to speak comfortingly, "Luciel…what's wrong?"
"I don't want this to end. I do love you. I do." He then shut his eyes and squeezed out more of his tears, his chest spasming under his sob.
I gulped and remembered my words before this happened. I told him that I would let him go after tonight. Did he really plan to go through with that now that he felt all of this? It made me feel as though a bucket of cold water had been dumped over my head, but I didn't immediately give into the icy feeling of dread, speaking softly, "I love you, too. And I'm not going anywhere."
He met sad eyes with me again, reaching out to stroke my cheek, and he whispered back, "We can't be together, I already told you why. You don't know the things the people I work for could do to you. If something happened to you because of them, I-I…"
I took a deep breath at the concept. It was a scary thought to think that people might be after me just because I loved him…because I wanted to be with him. But could I be happy without him, especially now after both of us finally gave in to what we were feeling? I couldn't live like that, I knew right in that moment. And then tears were coming to my eyes too.
"MC, oh, now I've made you cry…I never want to see you cry…" his voice was sorrowful then, and though tears were still running down his cheeks, he was trying to comfort me.
His harsh words from earlier meant nothing, especially now that he finally showed me what he truly felt. I took a breath and finally spoke, "I don't care about all that. I won't be happy without you. I want to be with you, and nothing you say is going to change that. I won't leave your side."
He looked downright surprised then, and he whispered with a hesitant kind of hope, "You would still want to be with me, even with what you know about me?"
I was sure now that there could be no one else for me with the way he'd entered my world and stolen my heart, so I smiled slightly and nodded, "I couldn't be with anyone else. Not anymore."
He looked into my eyes carefully and then he grinned, making me feel a warmth inside. It was the first time he smiled genuinely since he'd gotten here, and I hoped that I'd get to see that more often from this time on. He then pulled me closer into his arms and he whispered, "If you are willing to put yourself through following me, I will make sure you never come to any harm. I'll protect you, even if I have to give up my own life."
I smiled again and gently rested my hand over his heart as I replied, "And I will do everything I can to protect you too…I love you."
He reached forward to stroke some hair behind my ear and he murmured back, "I love you, too."
