Sup everybody ! Welcome to my new fic.
So, if you read That Isosceles Monster, let me tell you, this one is completely different. This is a realityAU, nothing incredible, but this time Bill is a woman and Mabel have a terrible boyfriend. This is going to be dark, but we're not gonna cry every tears of our body every chapter. This is reality, not a Greek tragedy.
So well then, let's roll baby !
Mabel sighed, gently waved by the moves of the car. The subway was mostly empty at that very hour, just a few people stuck to their phones' screens, their face weirdly enlighten by the vivid light. The deep sound of the subway going was terribly relaxing. She just had to close her eyes and she would fall asleep in the instant. Using her scarf as a pillow, and as a bed. . . She looked down at the old carpet covering the seats and frowned. There was no way she would sleep on that. Rubbing her cheeks, she motivated herself to stay awake.
It was fascinating to watch people in the subway, looking at them standing, sitting, walking, moving, breathing. She was fascinated by their normal lives, wondering how uninteresting their day had been. Normal people and normal lives, wonderfully boring.
Lost in her thoughts, she lifted up her look to the small screen showing stations' names. Dammit, she missed her casual stop. She swore silently as the car stopped, violently grabbing her shopping bag and stepping out the car nervously. She could hear the hidden giggles behind her. She walked faster.
She pushed a man, hard enough to make him let out a muffled swear. She rushed through the unknown station, head down to not meet any looks.
She ran up the stairs to reach the fresh air of the becoming night. She stood out on the concrete, looking around at that foreign neighborhood. It was full of a compact crowd, streaming like a river on the pavement, shinning under the light of the street light. Slipping the stream in two, cars coming closer and further in a constant flow. Unstoppable and crazy, looked deadly like rampaging torrents. It was full of a white noise of voices, music and engine sounds mixed together in a deafening racket. None of the streets, the shops or the people seemed familiar. She felt weird, unwanted, and most of all, oppressed. She wasn't used to such big places. Feeling watched, Mabel walked straight to the nearest street, standing straight like she knew where she was going.
Neon were vomiting on the concrete town their empty light. Mabel felt weird, wandering in those monochrome worlds of advertising. Floating on the tar, she crossed those unknown colorful seas, ignoring the sirens luring her to join their little worlds. She had no time for any of those bars, restaurants or fancy shops. Jailed behind transparent screens, those worlds wasn't hers, it was just universes she would never fit in.
But maybe she could allow a visit if a grocery shop would ever shows up.
She finally stopped in front of a shop and stared at the glass door for a couple of minutes. The place was enlighten by a yellowish light, the counter was right next to the door, facing a wall of cigarettes packs. A guy with a shirt was storing packs, a little smile on his face. He wasn't looking at her. It was like watching television, it made her sad. Protected by glass, a perfect world of planned events, where the pain is not real and the laugh are shared. A world she would never fit in.
The pushed the glass door, the chime above the frame sang joyfully. Responding like a robot, the cashier turned around with a formal smile and saluted her. Mabel responded with a shy nod and immediately disappeared behind a shelf. He went back to his business.
It wasn't such an hard task, everything was written on a list and she just had to move her arms and legs to get the supplies from the shelves and then inside her basket. She liked the place, it was like frozen in time. Yellow neon on the ceiling, shiny white tile and an impregnated smell of cigarette stuck in the wallpaper. The untouched bubble of a dead era even made her forget time was still passing in the outside world.
She placed the basket on the counter. In a graceful move, the cashier turned away from his cigarettes' storing and started scanning her supplies. Mabel watched him do. He had perfectly controlled moves, it was fluid, fast. She was fascinated by his fingers acting like they were self-catering creatures. She looked up to the badge pinned on his shirt. It was only written 'Tad' on it, in all caps.
She weakly smiled. Feeling a sudden sympathy for him, she snapped herself out of this reverie. Her brain couldn't let her heart have sympathy so easily, she wasn't a fool anymore,aware of where those feelings would lead her. She turned her head hearing the sound of the chime.
A woman has pushed the door. She was walking with a lot of confidence, looking down to the world, perched on her high heels. Mabel escaped the woman's look. The lady walked straight to the counter, right next to her sides. She couldn't stop herself from discreetly taking a peek.
She was pretty tall, even without the heels she might be still taller than her. The left side of her face was hidden by a wave of pale blonde hair, keeping Mabel away from looking a her face. It was frustrating. The blonde sank a hand in her trench's pocket.
''That would be 37.80 ma'am !'' Tad pressed the buttons of his noisy cash register.
Mabel blenched, then started searching in her bag for her wallet. Bent all over it because she knew the woman was looking at her and was terrified to meet her eyes. She was probably blushing to make everything better.
She handed the money. In the corner of her eye she spotted the stranger face had turned to her. She could feel deep inside, the want to meet those eyes, it was terrible, urgent, her entire subconscious wanted it. She wasn't sure if it was for the sake of curiosity, but she allowed herself a quick look.
A cigarette between her lips, the white face was lightly smiling with satisfaction. The left side was invisible, but on the right was a blue eye, looking all over her, indecently. Mabel felt uncomfortable, her hands were shaking a bit as she threw her wallet back in her bag.
Done with his client, Tad turned to the blonde, crossing his arms on his chest.
''How's my beautiful grandma doing ?'' He mocked.
''Oh shut up would you.'' The blonde sighed.''I'm only five years older than you, little dumb-ass.''
Purposely, Mabel grabbed her groceries as slowly as she could. Mysterious lady with a British accent ? Better than a TV show.
The blonde grabbed something else in her pocket, a blue lighter. Mabel watched the entire dance of her pale fingers lighting up the cigarette. Graceful, even more than the cashier's moves. It's only when the woman let out a cloud of smoke that she reacted.
''Hey, it's forbidden to smoke in public places !'' She shouted.
The blonde faced the chubby face, Mabel was doing her best to make an angry expression, but even like this she looked silly and cute. She always had a hard time looking serious with a childish face.
''Oh sorry little lady !'' The woman answered sarcastically.''Taddy, arrest me, I'm a criminal !''
She reached her two hands above the counter, waiting to be handcuffed. Tad laughed and pushed her arms away. Mabel, upset, crossed her arms in a pout.
''I'm not gonna handcuff an old lady !''
''Would you just shut up !''
They both laughed a bit. The blonde lady turned again to Mabel with a gentle smile.
''Don't worry Star, Tad's a friend, he let me smoke here. I count on you to not say it to the police.''
She let down her arms, smiling gently.
''No, I'm not gonna say anything.'' She grabbed her shopping bag. It was really time to leave, but her heart wanted to stay. These people were welcoming and nice. She was feeling kinda great in there.
''What's you're name by the way ? Mine's Billie.''
''Mabel.''
''It's a pleasure Mabel, the other lunatic's named Tad, but I think you already figured it out.'' The said lunatic waved with his free hand. ''He calls me old lady because it was my birthday last week. Or at least he thinks it was.''
''Oh, how old did you turned ?'' Mabel timidly asked.
''That's also a secret.''
''Thirty-three ! She turned thirty-three !'' Tad exclaimed, pointing at the object of mockery.
''Shush Taddy ! You don't even know if it was my birthday !'' She threw her cigarette behind the counter.
''But I know you're thirty-three ! And I'm sure it's in November ! Don't tell me it's not !'' He crushed the cigarette with his foot, still exclaiming proudly.
Mabel sank her nose in her wool scarf and giggled. The shopping bag was heavy on her shoulder but she couldn't make a move. If she made a step she couldn't stay, if she ever put the bag on the floor, she would never leave. Stuck between two choices, she stood there, watching the characters playing comedy. For an instant, she wanted to be part of the play.
''Tad's playing proud but I know his weakness.'' Billie came closer and cooed to her hear.''Watch this.''
''Hey Taddy ! You would never bet with who I was last night !'' The blonde exclaimed, purposely loud.
To the word 'bet', he froze, frowning and focusing on Billie. Mabel was impressed, there was obviously something up with those bets.
''I bet I can guess.''
''I bet you can't, mate.''
It looked like their faces had became darker. They were smiling but it looked like she asked him something as important as a political decision or something. It looked like it was the tense point of the play. Mabel was petrified.
''Julia !''
''No.''
''Lily ?''
''No.''
''Kaitlin !''
''Still no.''
''. . . wait, wait. . . That other girl with the tattoos. . .''
''What ?''
''Oh no that's Julia, sorry.''
Mabel was absorbed by what seemed to be a guessing fight. Something buzzing in her coat's pocket brought her back to reality. She took out the phone, she had just received a message, coming of course from the only person that could harass her just at the moment she was having fun. She sighed. The ring as called her back.
''I'm sorry, I gotta go.''
''Maybe we'll meet again !'' Tad immediately exclaimed, just turning his eyes to her.
The brunette walked to the door, she was ready to open it when she turned back to give a last goodbye. She couldn't tell if it was because of the sadness on her face or because her bag seemed truly too heavy for her, but Billie was standing there, silent, with a worried face. Already taking out another cigarette, she frowned. Mabel felt like jumping into her arms, entering her world and never get out again. But it needed more bravery than she could find in her heart.
''You okay Star ?'' Billie asked, grabbing her lighter.
''Yeah. . . I'm just tired. I'll come back okay ?''
''Hope I'll be there then.'' She smiled.
The last sound of the chime rang the end of the recreation. Now was time to go back to work. She placed her scarf over her chin and walked silently in the tranquil street. She didn't turned back, she walked straight, with her look down and her back bent under the weight of the shopping bag, pain starting to hit her in the bottom her spine.
Billie lighted her second cigarette of the evening. Not reasonable, but tonight she needed it. Tad wasn't the last to make her notice that she smoked too much, but that night he seemed bothered by something else, something that made him oddly happy. It wasn't hard to make him happy, that stupid child, but it was still kinda creepy.
''What make you smile like that dummy ?'' She spat, Tad leaning on his counter with the most annoying smile she had ever seen.
''Oh I'm just smiling at your little game. You're so predictable.''
''What do you mean ?'' She frowned, upset.
''Come on ! I'm not a fool, I know those little smiles ! Pretty girl with curves, dreamy eyes and a huge chocolate hair. I see that in your devilish smiles ! What make you think you got any chances grandma ?''
''Do you hear what you're saying ? Jesus Tad, hearing you, I'm a freaking creep.''
''Like you got nothing for that lady ? Frankly Billie, don't tell me you don't want to put her name in your little black book. What it is already ? Mabel huh ? Mabel what ?''
''Yeah, there's some place for another name I guess.'' She shrugged.'' If I ever see her again maybe I'll try something, but stop making me sound like a creep, I just think she's pretty.''
''You think all girls are pretty. And why don't let this one for me, huh ? For once !''
''In your dreams child.'' She giggled. ''That one is mine.''
''Thomas I'm here !'' Mabel squeaked with a weak voice, closing the door behind her.
Welcomed by the warm of her clean little apartment, she walked straight to the kitchen with her shopping bag. The room, first on the left, was in the dark but she knew enough the rooms and the corridors to not be bothered about it. Still with her coat on, just to enjoy being too hot after a walk in the cold. She pulled off her scarf and rolled it around her arm to finally throw it on a chair. Her arms were tired, her entire body was calling for some rest. A sweet memory of the comfort of the couch that was waiting in the living room created in her the urgent need for a sit.
''Mabel ! Finally you're there !''
Appearing in the door frame like a ghost, Thomas, or Tom, had the face distorted by some kind of indescribable worries, fear, and probably anxiety. All the muscles of his young face were incredibly brushed, like bed sheets in the morning. His eyebrows, knitted together seemed to come before the eyes, adding shadows to his dark look of worried brown pupils running to every corner of the room. He still had his shirt, just the first button was open, only revealing his thin neck, moving oddly like there was three snakes inside. He passed a hand in his messy blond hair, shaking lightly.
''I-I was so worried, you took so much time !'' His voice was piercing, troubled by nervous shakes and hesitations.
''I only went out to get groceries Tom, I wasn't far.'' Mabel replied calmly, starting to store the food in the open fridge, a pale light enlightening her face in the darkness of the kitchen.
''But you don't take that much time usually !'' He exclaimed violently, words hardly coming out of his throat.
Mabel felt her throat shrieking, a sudden wave of fear pushed her against the cupboards of the kitchen as it seemed Tom was growing bigger. He wasn't standing in the door frame anymore, he was blocking the way out, he wasn't pointing at her, he was invading her space, he wasn't shaking, he was boiling from rage, ready to explode at any instant. She felt glad to have kept her coat, now it was her armor. Trying to not let her look be distracted by the open door of the fridge, she tried to speak calmly but quickly lost control of her speech.
''I-I missed my stop in the subway. I was tired ! I was tired because you don't let me sleep !'' She almost shouted, then covered her mouth to not let out more.
''It's not my fault ! Shut up ! You keep making me feel uncomfortable !'' He took a few steps on the tiling, his terrible face starting to be revealed by the light of the fridge. Facing the open door, Mabel felt like a little animal, facing the car that was ready to hit her, ready to spill her blood on the tar and leave her lifeless body on the side of the road. She just wished she could pass through walls as she turned her face away from his look.
He stopped next to the door, she could perfectly see his eyes from where she was. Two brown eyes, swimming in pools of white paint with strains of blood running inside. His look had the same impact on her as she got hit by an arrow, piercing her heart and soul.
''Please don't hurt me. . .''She whispered so low she could barely hear it.
''How do you want me to trust you if you keep doing things like this Mabel ! How ?!'' He was waving his shaking arms so violently, it was moving his entire shirt, like it was pulled from every corner by the invisible force of his rage.
Suddenly, it all ended. Like the wave had finally crashed on the sand. His arms slowly fell, his breathe calmed down. Mabel had escaped his look until that moment. She knew what was happening inside of him, and even thought he seemed calmed, she didn't liked it better. His white face in front of her, his eyes, changed, shinning under the pale fridge light. Another wave was forming, a different one, not as big, but as destructive as the previous one, if it wasn't more.
''You know I care. . .''His voice was trembling, deformed, full of a sudden sadness which sounded fake.''I care because. . .I love you.''
If he could attack her physically when it was a angry wave, the other possibility was always coming with psychological attacks. At least she knew how to handle a slap or a kick, at best she could escape, at worst she just had to heal her wounds. But when he was taking her by the feels, there was nothing she could ever do to protect herself, either to heal the wounds. He was stabbing an already bleeding heart with the sharpest of knives, and all she could do was to watch him do. If she could choose, she would rather get beaten to death than hear such things as 'I love you'. There was no words more painful than those.
He reached a hand, closing the fridge door in a slow move. She turned her head again, couldn't close her eyes. Her vision had became secondary, all she was focused on was what she heard. His feet, sliding on the tiling, his shirt being creased by his moves. His breathe, slow and noisy. She could almost hear his face being moved by his brutal emotions.
Finally, she felt a hand on her chin. The move wasn't violent or aggressive, but she lived it as it was a punch in a face. His hands on a her face were like a thousand of spikes piercing her skin, her instinct was screaming to push it away, push the pain far away and run for safety. But she didn't moved, just the muscle of her face all contracted in a painful expression. He turned her face to his.
It was even more terrible than what she expected. Ending so near to his face was like looking at a rotten carcass, full of maggots. She wanted to look away but his grip was too tight. It was almost painful for her eyes to look at his, like his gentle pupils were throwing flames to burn her retina.
Then he closed his, ending the pain just to leave a break to another worst suffering. Happened what she hoped wouldn't happen, but what was she expecting, it was just another typical night in her little clean apartment and Tom was a jerk and a real specialist when it was about making her suffer thousands pains.
He kissed her. Not on the cheek or on the forehead or even on the nose, no on the lips. And it hurt.
She had to breathe really deeply to not vomit or faint at that moment. She just waited for it to end, her faced paralyzed. She didn't said anything after it, didn't showed any sign of pain of discomfort even if it was ready to burst out of her mouth. She just hoped that it would be it for that night and there wasn't more coming. She just couldn't take it.
And he let her for the night. He really did. He just left the kitchen, went back to his business as she did. She took a tasteless dinner while watching TV, a boring program about some dudes discovering the wonderful culture of some lost people on a far away island. Then they brushed their teeth together, went to bed and turned off their lights. No other words were pronounced out of a brief 'goodnight'.
And she couldn't realize she went trough another night before she felt asleep.