Somehow, happy as I should be, I wasn't happy. At all. Yes, the war was over, Kronos was dead. At least for another century. Yet, I just couldn't manage to crack a smile, like I can usually pretend that everything's alright and I'm the happiest person in the world. I just couldn't. Instead of trying at it again I just told Percy that my injuries hurt a lot, and I was happy but that was not even half the truth.
I just hated not knowing. Why I was in such a state of melancholy, I was unsure. Usually I protested against the tears that threatened to fall down my face, but this time I let it out, I couldn't care less if everyone else thought I was a weakling. I just didn't care anymore. What was wrong with me? Why did I sound so pessimistic? Maybe because my optimism had died during the war. Wait a minute, death. Half my hunters had died in battle. I knew every one of them personally and I was simply attached to them all. I thought this family would be permanent and no one could abandon me here. But I guess I was wrong. It wasn't their fault and they weren't to blame.
If people thought Annabeth was suffering from Luke's death, then you could just say I died. Luke was like the only reason for me to be alive, and if you lose the will to live, it's because your source of life has gone. Annabeth didn't know Luke nearly as much as I did, he was like the other half of me, and I didn't join the hunters before because I just couldn't. Luke and I had something stronger than just love. We knew each other like the backs of our hands, every tiny detail, like we were reliving each others lives. When he sided with Kronos, I understood the pain and agony he had been through the time I wasn't there for him. He'd told me in a dream that he felt half dead and if the gods did nothing about it, Kronos sure would. His main goal was to bring me back alive, and after he'd done that, he would help Kronos take over. But during the time I was a tree, and he had poisoned me, I went bonkers. I was enraged, and I just could not believe that Luke would do such a thing. And then I never believed in family, in love as long as there was no guarantee of a permanent situation. Annabeth must have noticed, but I guess she didn't let on, as she had found Percy. Percy, on the other hand, was actually a copy of me. But with arguments and a few insults here and there, we were close, but not close enough for me to accept him to the family. I learned to keep my distance long ago.
My mother was a psycho, what Zeus saw in her, I have no clue. Jason, my little brother was dead. I was never close to my mother, but after his death I hated her. I ran away, and then… well after many incidents I still could not get over Jason's death. But somehow, I don't know why, I didn't believe he was dead. The facts just don't go. Maybe, just maybe, I'll find out someday.
Many people wonder why I kept Jason a complete secret. The reason is, I didn't want another reason for people to see my vulnerability. That's why I had a punk rock hardcore personality, so no one would question the mask and see the weak hurt girl inside.
"Thalia, you better go up front, Lord Zeus is back and he is definitely going to award you." Charlene, one of my hunters, said.
"If not blast me to pieces." I muttered as I made my way further into the throne room with my crutches.