So You Want to Date a Super Genius
Summary: How is dating a super genius different from dating a regular girl? You have no idea.
AN: Got this idea from tiramisuspice and her 'letters to prospective roommates' stories in the Girl Meets World fandom. If you decide to read those (you should, they're awesome), know that mine is, uh, much tamer.
I know what you're thinking. Geniuses are people too. They put on their pants one leg at a time just like the rest of us.
Thing is...they don't. Really. My girlfriend invented a contraption that puts her pants on for her. She slides her legs out of bed into her pants, and then the machine pulls them up so that she can button them, saving herself 1.2 seconds every morning. I wish I was joking.
Point is, super geniuses have their own set of quirks and peculiarities that are probably completely different from anything you've ever experienced before. What should you know before taking the plunge and asking one out? Well:
1. Get used to feeling dumb. You're not, it's just that she's just so much smarter than you.
2. On the flip side, get used to explaining things like basic human interaction and pop culture references. It's the only thing you have a chance of knowing more about than her.
3. You will never be the most important thing to her as long as science exists. Sorry. Maybe you can work your way up to the most important person, but Elon Musk is a tough man to beat.
4. You're going to want to brag to anyone who'll listen about her inventions or about how smart she is. Don't. She hates attention (Except when it's from you, anyway).
5. That fluttery feeling you get in your chest when she smiles at you is completely normal.
6. I know it's difficult to say no to her when she's all bright eyed and excited, but you're going to need to put your foot down sometimes or she'll walk all over you.
7. Who are you kidding, you're completely whipped.
8. Expect your dates to start an hour later than planned. She will, inevitably, get too wrapped up in one of her experiments and forget that you were supposed to see The Martian at 7:30pm Friday night, so always buy tickets for the 8:30 showing. Either that or show up an hour earlier than planned, it's up to you.
9. If you don't hear from her for a few days, don't worry. Chances are she's elbow deep in some crazy new experiment and hasn't slept, eaten, or showered since she fell off the grid.
10. Actually, you should definitely worry. Bring her food; she probably hasn't eaten yet.
11. If you ever want to Netflix and chill, don't pick a show that's in any way science related. You will cease to exist.
12. Everything is an experiment.
13. Everything. If while using your girlfriend's tablet you happen to accidentally stumble upon a list of video files accompanied by notes detailing your make out sessions to make them better or more efficient, try not to act too surprised.
14. While we're on the subject, be open when she brings those suggestions up to you (You'll like them. Trust me).
15. If you see her talking to a guy, try not to get jealous. Most likely it's completely innocent and about something science related.
16. If she sees you talking to a girl, ABORT IMMEDIATELY.
17. If she asks to 'hang out in your room,' she will, without fail, crawl under your covers and fall asleep for at least 4-6 hours.
18. And definitely don't watch her sleep. Besides being creepy, you'll just end up falling even more in love with her (You might think that's not possible but wrong wrong wrong).
19. She will try to help you by making your life more efficient, usually by inventing sometimes dangerous and borderline useless contraptions for you (Read: aforementioned pants machine). No matter how much she pouts or bats her eyelashes, DO NOT USE THESE MACHINES.
20. (Since you were unable to resist her pleading and caved, invest in burn cream.)
21. The term 'boyfriend' is synonymous with 'guinea pig.'
22. She values function over form, so enjoy the short shorts and crop tops of summer while you can because the second fall hits it's all flannel jackets and baggy jeans for the next five months.
23. Don't leave any of your clothing in her lab. Seriously. You'll never see it again unless she's wearing it, and it'll look ten times better on her than it ever did on you.
24. Ice cream fixes everything.
25. Inviting her over for dinner is a terrible idea. Your mother is most likely also in love with her and will constantly bring up wedding dates and won't stop humming the wedding march song until the night's over.
26. If you get invited over for dinner, do not let the discussion drift into the realm of quantum mechanics. I shouldn't have to tell you why.
27. Avoid staring into her eyes for more than five seconds at a time unless you want to get lost in them. If you can't look away, make a funny face to make her laugh so that she will.
28. Running your fingers through her hair will drive her crazy. Do it whenever you get the chance.
29. I probably should have mentioned this before, but performing the previous action will result in her wanting to cuddle and/or make out. Again, do it whenever you get the chance.
30. Sometimes she can become a little distant or aloof whenever she's trying to figure out a really hard problem and you'll start to wonder if she even likes you anymore and then you'll start to wonder if she ever liked you to begin with. BREATHE. I know it's difficult to understand since she's usually so smiley and energetic, but you're her best friend. She still loves you.
Like I said, dating someone with an IQ of over 200 comes with its own set of challenges and oddities, but it can be extremely rewarding and will absolutely never get boring. If it's a normal life you're looking for, keep looking. You will not find it with a super genius.
If you prefer a little excitement and never want to know what the next day will bring, well, you won't find anyone better. Use this list for reference and you should be fine.
Just...seriously, invest in burn cream.
Sincerely,
Nick Klegg