Drac: The Musical

by The All-Seeing Ry

Otherwise known as "A collaboration of parodies of songs I wrote at, like, four in the morning and probably will regret one day". All songs belong to original creators, though. Hope you all enjoy! :)

Hey, everyone. So, I've been reading Dracula, in case you want to know,.and my big sister made me listen to Psych- The Musical. Oh, yeah, this is a parody of the song in there:

?#/watch?v=6SHC5UOk-HY

So, yeah... um... enjoy. This is why I shouldn't write at four in the morning.

Jonathan: [turns to Van Helsing and other hunters] My records show that he went directly across the street into the graveyard. Into... the tomb.

Van Hesling: [ confused; quietly to Mina] 'Records' are telling him?

Mina: [nods] He's a real- estate agent.

Van Helsing: [confused still and in slight surprise] And who believes this?

Mina: [glances at Quincey and Jack] Most of us.

Arthur: [hands in his pockets] Not me.

Jonathan: [from landing halfway down stairs of the asylum] Doctor, you, too, will soon believe.

[Music begins; Jonathan sets hand on railing and turns as he begins to sing]

Jonathan: [sings] HeLLO MY name is Johnny Harker... [points to Quincey] This here is my partner, John Wayyyyne. [Quincey waves to group behind him, befuddled at where the music is coming from. Johnny keeps on singing] Dracula's powers are overwhelming- but my experience [props foot on railing] is inSAAAAAANE!

Arthur:[ever so gracefully glides down stairs as he sings] A realist misses nothing. Each little myth is a traaaaaail. It's not a question of 'if' or 'where', but when Dracula gets the hammer and the naaaail. [Takes Jack by the arms; speaks this time] Come along.

Jonathan [pulls poor confused Jack back] The tomb.

Arthur: [as he and Jonathan circle each other with glares] The Abby.

Jonathan: The tomb.

Arthur: The Abby.

Jonathan: Renfield was correct, just check with Jacky! [Shoves Jack aside]

Jack: Oof! [Falls on face]

Arthur: [muttering] It's most inconceivable story.

[Both do little tango steps to opposite stairs; run down them as song continues]

Jonathan: [as he sing a yet again] I've heard it both ways! The right way and then yours! [Lands on ground, and the two glare at one another] I've heard it bOTH ways, let's not get strange new neck sores! [He and Art now spin to where they're next to each other and stand; Arthur as if he's fandango- tango-ing, and Jonathan with arms above his head like a ballerina] Don't cheech [bumps Arthur with hip, making him stumble] my chong anymoooore!