"Edward?" Bella paced back and forth in her bedroom.
"Bella? What is it?" Edward paced, well, sped, around his bedroom at the rate of a Ferrari around a track. He was nervous whenever Bella called, basically, because this had been the first time.
"Edward…I just missed your voice." Bella pled with him, begging him to forgive her human obsessions.
"You mean… This was all a ploy so you could get my voice?" Edward asked playfully.
"Yes. I confess. You're so intoxicating, that just your voice ties me to this Earth."
"Stop being melodramatic. Was there something you wanted to get recorded? A nuptial promise?"
"Yes. A promise, of sorts.." Bella breathed.
"No."
"Yes."
"No." Edward said, more aggressively.
"Yes. We've had this discussion loads of times…and--"
"--And I've become better and better at reading your mind Bella."
"Shut up."
"You did not."
"Yes, actually, I did."
"I could kill you with a flick of my finger. I might not even notice it at all.."
"Then…Carlisle would save me!"
"No."
"But you said…"
"No…wait, yes. Stop this Bella, I'm busy."
"With what?" Bella rolled over on her bed, eager to hear his excuse. "Homework? You finish that in half a second. Workouts? You know better than I that you don't have to work out…" Bella sucked in her breathe, remembering his perfectly chiselled body. "You're trying to get rid of me, Edward Cullen, yes you are."
"If you must know, there's a ravaging vampire at my house right now, and…he's ravaging Alice right now, Jasper's quite jealous, and I've got to go…I need to tell them to keep it down…damn vampire threesomes…they get wilder and wilder every year…"
"What?" Bella asked, suddenly alert.
"Oh, ksshhhhhh, ksshhhhhh, I can't seem to hear you…"
"Don't do this Edward. There's a redial button right here…"
"Kshhhhh, sorry, Bella what's that? Here, I can't hear you anyways, so I'll just 'Kiss you through the phone'…" A pucker, then a smack was heard clearly.
"Edward! My dad has a shotgun you know!"
"Kshhhhhh…ploooof. Sorry, the number you have dialled has been disconnected…"
"I know it's you."
"--Please leave a message after the beep."
"You can't leave a message if it's disconnected."
"Beep."
"No one actually says beep out loud, do they?" Bella laughed.
"Beep. Time limit exceeded. Please hang up and try again."
"Edward, don't do this. I'll hang up on you, I swear!" Bella threatened.
Bella could hear a chuckle.
"Damn you."
Bella made a puckering noise, and kissed her phone and hung up.
"Always wants his way…stupid vampire...liar…" She muttered dispassionately.
The door flew open. There was Charlie, with the aforementioned shotgun.
"Bella, I heard kissing. IS there someone in here? I HAVE A GUN!"
"No, dad, Edward's at home…"
"I'm watching you…" He made the 'eyes on you' gesture and closed the door.
"I can still hear you breathing, dad!"