Mistakes
By: The Confused One
Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything connected to CI, and I'm not making any money. I just like to play with them a little. I promise to put them back unharmed.
A/N: I'm not sure where this came from. It was just there one day. I love Bobby/Alex and, for whatever reason, this just felt like a perfect conversation, were they to get together after Bishop left. Sometimes I'm sure Bobby and Bishop have slept together, and I just know Alex would hate the idea. LOL So you guys at FFN just deal with the shippy part. LOL
"Alex," I say it on reflex, and end my momentary and ultimately vain attempt to grab her arm, before even remembering where we are. I know immediately that it's a mistake. She's going to make me pay for it later. I never say it in the squad room, or at least not loud enough for people to hear. It's sort of been one of our rules, not flaunting our relationship and all that. But she was walking away, and I wanted her attention. It just slipped. Not that she's going to take that as an excuse.
She turns to face me, and for the first time, I realize that we've been loud enough to garner an audience of sorts. There's fire in her eyes as she walks back up next to me. In a low whisper, so no one else can hear, she hisses, "I thought you agreed not to do that."
Looking at me, she waits. She's not going to let this go now. I should have let her leave. She would have calmed down, and things would have been fine, if only I could have kept my mouth shut. I notice one of the meeting rooms off to the side is empty. I want to finish it in there, instead of out here where everyone is listening. Putting on my best pleading look, I offer, "In there."
She looks over to where I'm pointing. She relents a little and decides it would be best. Neither of us speaks a word before the door is closed. She basically ensures that we're on opposite ends of the room. I try to explain, "I'm sorry. I had more to say."
She's still angry. I can see it. She fires at me, "I didn't want to talk about it anymore Goren. I said what I wanted to say on the subject."
She's not fighting. She's really angry. She doesn't even want to hear my side of the story or anything. In a tone that is more challenging than I had wanted, I reply, "Which is? All you told me was that Bishop called you, and said what? We slept together? Talk to me here."
I mentally kick myself for being so arrogant, cause it's true. God help me, it's true. I have no right to that tone. Standing here in front of her, I wonder if my father ever saw the look that Alex has in her eyes now in my mother's eyes. The pain, anger, frustration, and sadness all mixed together to give me the most heartbreaking look I've ever seen on her face, and it kills me to know I caused it. I wonder if my father even cared. God, I'm turning into him. Damn bastard haunts me from the grave. Her voice brings me out of my thoughts. She keeps it low, calm, and steady. Not a good sign. She's beyond angry. She answers, "She said she thought I should know, that she found out I didn't know. What is it Goren, jumping from one partner to the next? How long before you told everyone about it? I guess I've been the butt of all the jokes lately huh?" She waits for a moment, and when I don't respond, she tries to provoke me, "Well?"
I'm standing in stunned silence. I can't believe she's stooping so low, even if I know I deserve it. It still hurts. My arguing instincts click in. I yell back in exasperated sarcasm, "Yeah! That's it Eames! I jump from bed to bed and tell everyone about it! I won't even talk about my mother around here, but spreading gossip and information about my sex life, no problem! Does that make any sense to you?"
Her nostrils are flaring, and she looks away. In an almost defeated soft voice, Alex replies, "You went to her."
I watch as she lowers her arms from her hips, and crosses them across her chest. She steps away from me even further, insuring the distance. Brining my voice and temper back into check. I calmly explain, "Six months ago. Months before we got together, while you were out. Hard case. A couple of kids killed their father. I managed to get very drunk. She was there, and she didn't understand, which was comforting in the moment, but didn't do anything in the end. That's when I realized I love you. You're my world Alexandra Eames. I'd do anything to change that night, for it to be you instead, but it wasn't, and unfortunately I can't change it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I was going to, but things happened, we happened, and I just couldn't find the time or heart. Eventually it just didn't seem to matter anymore. You're the only woman in the world that means anything to me Alex."
She's looking at me again. I won't let her let go. I can tell by the softening of her eyes, and sadder look she's giving me that she heard me. I just hope she truly understood it. A few tears begin to fall, and I naturally begin to close the distance. Shielding her from our not quite stealthy enough co-worker's staring, I hold her. Looking down at her, she meets my eyes. A few tears still falling. She replies, "I love you."
Closing my eyes, I kiss her forehead and whisper, "I love you. You're the only one who matters."
She gives me a supportive smile. It's a good sign. Tilting her head slightly she pulls away from me, I let her, even though I would rather not. Catching my gaze, she holds it, and asks, "No more secrets, right?"
I take a deep breath. I nod my head emphatically. There isn't anything else that she doesn't know about me. I promise, "No more secrets. I've got nothing else."
She smiles again. Moving forwards again, she brushes her lips with mine, sending tingles all through my body. God, it feels good to just be near her like this. She smiles again. She turns around and stops at the door, "I'll be OK, but we need to get back to work. I'm sure Bridges is looking for you by now, and Connelly is definitely looking for me. We'll deal with Bishop, who knows what, and why later. I just. He's waiting."
I take a deep breath. It's taking everything I am to force myself to walk towards the door, out of the room and the moment. I'd do just about anything to stay here forever, with her. It's sappy, I know, but sappy is all I got these days. It's all I need. I half-heartedly reply, "Yeah, work."
Her face brightens into another smile. She opens the calling back to me, "Thanks to your little thing out there, you've got a lot of groveling to do mister."
I stop short of the door and her. A smile creeps over my face. I have to learn to stop saying her name here. I have no idea what she has in store for me this time, but last time I had to do all the housework for a month. Shaking my head as I close the door, I have a good mind to remind her that it's a little late to stave off the gossiping today. Sitting back down at my desk to resume my paperwork, I ignore the stares from the people around me, including my partner's. No one is getting this story from me, that's for sure.
Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything connected to CI, and I'm not making any money. I just like to play with them a little. I promise to put them back unharmed.
A/N: I'm not sure where this came from. It was just there one day. I love Bobby/Alex and, for whatever reason, this just felt like a perfect conversation, were they to get together after Bishop left. Sometimes I'm sure Bobby and Bishop have slept together, and I just know Alex would hate the idea. LOL So you guys at FFN just deal with the shippy part. LOL
"Alex," I say it on reflex, and end my momentary and ultimately vain attempt to grab her arm, before even remembering where we are. I know immediately that it's a mistake. She's going to make me pay for it later. I never say it in the squad room, or at least not loud enough for people to hear. It's sort of been one of our rules, not flaunting our relationship and all that. But she was walking away, and I wanted her attention. It just slipped. Not that she's going to take that as an excuse.
She turns to face me, and for the first time, I realize that we've been loud enough to garner an audience of sorts. There's fire in her eyes as she walks back up next to me. In a low whisper, so no one else can hear, she hisses, "I thought you agreed not to do that."
Looking at me, she waits. She's not going to let this go now. I should have let her leave. She would have calmed down, and things would have been fine, if only I could have kept my mouth shut. I notice one of the meeting rooms off to the side is empty. I want to finish it in there, instead of out here where everyone is listening. Putting on my best pleading look, I offer, "In there."
She looks over to where I'm pointing. She relents a little and decides it would be best. Neither of us speaks a word before the door is closed. She basically ensures that we're on opposite ends of the room. I try to explain, "I'm sorry. I had more to say."
She's still angry. I can see it. She fires at me, "I didn't want to talk about it anymore Goren. I said what I wanted to say on the subject."
She's not fighting. She's really angry. She doesn't even want to hear my side of the story or anything. In a tone that is more challenging than I had wanted, I reply, "Which is? All you told me was that Bishop called you, and said what? We slept together? Talk to me here."
I mentally kick myself for being so arrogant, cause it's true. God help me, it's true. I have no right to that tone. Standing here in front of her, I wonder if my father ever saw the look that Alex has in her eyes now in my mother's eyes. The pain, anger, frustration, and sadness all mixed together to give me the most heartbreaking look I've ever seen on her face, and it kills me to know I caused it. I wonder if my father even cared. God, I'm turning into him. Damn bastard haunts me from the grave. Her voice brings me out of my thoughts. She keeps it low, calm, and steady. Not a good sign. She's beyond angry. She answers, "She said she thought I should know, that she found out I didn't know. What is it Goren, jumping from one partner to the next? How long before you told everyone about it? I guess I've been the butt of all the jokes lately huh?" She waits for a moment, and when I don't respond, she tries to provoke me, "Well?"
I'm standing in stunned silence. I can't believe she's stooping so low, even if I know I deserve it. It still hurts. My arguing instincts click in. I yell back in exasperated sarcasm, "Yeah! That's it Eames! I jump from bed to bed and tell everyone about it! I won't even talk about my mother around here, but spreading gossip and information about my sex life, no problem! Does that make any sense to you?"
Her nostrils are flaring, and she looks away. In an almost defeated soft voice, Alex replies, "You went to her."
I watch as she lowers her arms from her hips, and crosses them across her chest. She steps away from me even further, insuring the distance. Brining my voice and temper back into check. I calmly explain, "Six months ago. Months before we got together, while you were out. Hard case. A couple of kids killed their father. I managed to get very drunk. She was there, and she didn't understand, which was comforting in the moment, but didn't do anything in the end. That's when I realized I love you. You're my world Alexandra Eames. I'd do anything to change that night, for it to be you instead, but it wasn't, and unfortunately I can't change it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I was going to, but things happened, we happened, and I just couldn't find the time or heart. Eventually it just didn't seem to matter anymore. You're the only woman in the world that means anything to me Alex."
She's looking at me again. I won't let her let go. I can tell by the softening of her eyes, and sadder look she's giving me that she heard me. I just hope she truly understood it. A few tears begin to fall, and I naturally begin to close the distance. Shielding her from our not quite stealthy enough co-worker's staring, I hold her. Looking down at her, she meets my eyes. A few tears still falling. She replies, "I love you."
Closing my eyes, I kiss her forehead and whisper, "I love you. You're the only one who matters."
She gives me a supportive smile. It's a good sign. Tilting her head slightly she pulls away from me, I let her, even though I would rather not. Catching my gaze, she holds it, and asks, "No more secrets, right?"
I take a deep breath. I nod my head emphatically. There isn't anything else that she doesn't know about me. I promise, "No more secrets. I've got nothing else."
She smiles again. Moving forwards again, she brushes her lips with mine, sending tingles all through my body. God, it feels good to just be near her like this. She smiles again. She turns around and stops at the door, "I'll be OK, but we need to get back to work. I'm sure Bridges is looking for you by now, and Connelly is definitely looking for me. We'll deal with Bishop, who knows what, and why later. I just. He's waiting."
I take a deep breath. It's taking everything I am to force myself to walk towards the door, out of the room and the moment. I'd do just about anything to stay here forever, with her. It's sappy, I know, but sappy is all I got these days. It's all I need. I half-heartedly reply, "Yeah, work."
Her face brightens into another smile. She opens the calling back to me, "Thanks to your little thing out there, you've got a lot of groveling to do mister."
I stop short of the door and her. A smile creeps over my face. I have to learn to stop saying her name here. I have no idea what she has in store for me this time, but last time I had to do all the housework for a month. Shaking my head as I close the door, I have a good mind to remind her that it's a little late to stave off the gossiping today. Sitting back down at my desk to resume my paperwork, I ignore the stares from the people around me, including my partner's. No one is getting this story from me, that's for sure.