"Happy birthday, my evil little sweetheart!"
The young boy grinned with excitement as his mother placed a present upon his lap, thanking her in return with a kiss on the cheek. Upon further examination of the box, he noticed minuscule specs of crimson liquid on the glossy, ink-black wrapping paper. However, he thought nothing of it, brushing it off as red frosting from the cake they had earlier.
His father stood nearby with an expensive camera held up to his one good eye, absentmindedly scrubbing at the long, jagged scar running down the length of his face. An old trophy from one of his past battles, a trophy that had cost him the vision of his left eye.
"Wow, cool! . . . Er—what is it?"
The boy discarded the box and shreds of wrapping paper onto the floor, eyeballing the object in his hands with confuzzled interest.
"It's a hat, silly! It goes on your head, like this,"
The mother took the sleek, elegant-looking top hat from his hands and gingerly placed it onto his head, turning it this way and that until she got the angle just right.
"Ooooh, you look so handsome!" Swooned the mother, stepping back from her son with a wide smile stretched across her face. The boy flushed and glanced around, trying to find something to look at his reflection with.
"Here, take this, sport." The man said gruffly, using his one unoccupied hand to reach into his pocket and fish out a gold pocket-mirror. He flicked it open and handed it to his son, camera still held up to his eye and poised to take a shot.
The boy didn't quite recognize himself in the small mirror, growing suddenly still. Having been forced into a crisp red undershirt, tie and suit, he felt much unlike himself. Added with the hat, he reminded himself of a villain from a Disney movie.
And he did not like that.
"Whaddaya think? That thing costs more than a damn satellite! Your mother and I went through a lotta . . . Trouble, to get it for ya."
The boy didn't ask his father to elaborate on the subject, instead forcing his fading smile into a fabricated grin and putting up a very convincing display of gratitude.
"Thanks mom, dad! I . . . I love it!" The boy chirped, carefully removing the hat and setting it back onto his lap, running a finger over its glossy surface and furrowing his brow.
He couldn't help but wonder;
Had that been red frosting on the wrapping paper. . . ?
"A'ight, picture time! C'mon and hurry up, my arm's gettin' tired. Put the hat back on."
The boy nodded, obediently returning the new hat onto his head and standing up to pose beside his mother. She smiled broadly as her husband prepared to snap the photograph, not noticing her son occasionally glancing in the direction of the living room television.
"Alrighty then, say evil!"
"Evil!"
"Evil!"
*Click*
"Aw, lookit him! He looks like a true little villain! Oh, and that shirt really brings out the color of his eyes!" The woman said lovingly, eyes glowing down at the photograph from over her husband's shoulder.
"Heh, yeah. Ten already. . . Boy, how time flies, huh?" The father responded in a sigh mixed with nostalgic sadness and joy. His toothy grin wavered as he recalled the first time he saw his own child, wrapped in a bundle of blankets and helpless in a crib.
'It seemed like only yesterday,' he thought.
"Indeed, it does," — she glanced down to place a hand on her son's shoulder, but gave a start when she realized he was no longer at her side — "Speaking of which, where did the little scoundrel get off to?"
Noting the unannounced absence of the boy, the man tore his gaze away from the picture and glanced around, mild curiosity clouding his features.
It didn't take them long to find the youngster, whom sat directly in front of the living room television with a look of sheer awe sprinkled across his face.
"Honey . . . ? What are you watching?" Asked the woman, entering the living quarters with her husband tailing her not far behind.
"The news! Check it out, Professor Shadow's on Tv again! You remember him, don't you mommy?"
Both adults narrowed their eyes in intense dislike when they found who their son was referring to, curiosity warping into boiling hatred.
"Tuh, good old Professor Shadow! How could I forget?"
The boy's smile faltered, sensing the venomous sarcasm dripping from his mother's words.
"That man has foiled more of our schemes than I can count! I've seen enough of his ugly mug in person, thank you very much." The woman scoffed bitterly, crossing her arms defensively over her chest and averting her eyes away from the television.
"Tell me 'bout it. And you'd think a hero like him would have a better name, y'know? Professor Shadow, I ask you. . . Then again, he wouldn't be able to change it, huh? The bonehead can't even talk."
They both snickered nastily.
"Hey, that's mean!" The boy snapped, suddenly adopting a rather affronted tone.
The adults stared at him.
"Just because he can't talk doesn't mean he isn't awesome! Even if his tongue got chopped off as a kid, he can still kick some major butt!"
No one smiled during this little anecdote, and instead exchanged looks of concern.
"Heh . . . Ya certainly know a lot 'bout him, don't'cha?" Questioned his feather wearily, taking a seat on the carpet beside him. The boy nodded.
"No duh! I'm his biggest fan in the whole entire world! He's so cool, and I wanna be just like him when I grow up! Purple cape and everything!"
His parents watched with mounting concern and horror as the boy shot to his feet and ran out, giggling brightly to himself and holding the corners of a purple blanket around his neck like a makeshift cape.
He had made it clear to them on several occasions of his distaste for villainy, but they refused to allow their baby boy to follow in the footsteps of a hero.
"Don't worry, Katie." Whispered the man, suddenly at his wife's side when he caught sight of her disappointed and saddened expression.
"Once we take him out on the field tonight, he'll be beggin' to take him with us on our future gigs. Just you wait." He said soothingly when the boy was out of earshot, placing a hand on Katie's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.
She sighed, running a hand through her hair and momentarily closing her eyes.
"I hope you're right, Robert . . . " Katie said in a croaky whisper, cramming her hands into her jean's pockets and almost involuntarily leaning against his chest.
When her attention was reeled back onto the television, her gaze sharpened into a glacial scowl at the sight of their nemesis, wishing she could reach through the screen and throttle him until she wiped that smug grin off his face.
Robert followed her stare and mirrored her countenance, snatching up the remote from the couch's arm rest and flicking the tv off.
"Moooooom! Do I have to go? I don't wanna do anything bad!"
The boy squirmed and wriggled in the backseat of their menacing-looking car, trying to stop his mother from buckling him in.
"Too bad. You're a big boy now, it's about time we teach you the ropes, — hold still, will you?"
"But I don't wanna! Wh-What if the cops come?"
"Awe, but that's the best part 'bout bein' a bad guy, sport!" Called Robert from the garage, being able to hear every word they were saying with his inhuman senses.
"Ah, I can't get enough of it! Keeps me feelin' alive, y'know? The adrenaline of the chase, explosions, laser beams—"
"W-what?? No, I-I don't want any of that! I don't wanna die!"The boy blurted out, stubbornness quickly contorting into absolute horror.
"He's joking—he's joking! Robert, say you're joking!"Katie seethed in between a clenched jaw.
However, before Robert got the chance to take any of his words back, a loud yelp cut him off when the boy accidentally elbowed Katie sharply on the chest. She bumped her head on the car's ceiling when she jolted away, stern eyes turning steely with annoyance.
"Ow, be careful!"
"I don't wanna go!"
"That doesn't matter!"
"But mo—"
"No buts! You're going, and that's that! Now hold still and let mommy fasten your seat belt!"
The boy uttered a small, wolfish growl when Katie's hand came near again, baring a set of shark-like teeth identical to his father's and snapping viciously at her fingers, nearly grazing them.
She gasped, and recoiled, but her surprise quickly warped into astonished fury.
"Oh no you didn't! ROBERT, YOUR SAVAGE EXCUSE OF A SON JUST TRIED TO BITE ME!" Katie thundered, glaring as the fuming boy stuck his tongue out at her.
Robert emerged from the garage and approached her with a cool smile playing across his face, wearing a sleek and pristine black suit that told the world of his villain identity:
Blacksuit.
"Heh, takes to his father. Besides, who wouldn't want a piece of that ass?" Blacksuit purred, giving Katie's backside a playful slap. Blood rushed to her face.
"EEEEW! Gross, dad!" Retched the boy, yet snickered softly to himself when he got a look at his mother's beet-red face.
"Not in front of the kid, you animal!" Glowered Katie as she sent a hard shove to his chest, straightening out her red and black latex catsuit before prowling off to the drivers seat.
Blacksuit chuckled and took his eye off the lower half of his wife's body, swapping his attention down to their son instead.
"Y'know, if everything goes to plan, Professor Shadow might actually pay us a lil' visit." Hinted Blacksuit casually, smirking when the boy's eyes lit up like lanterns.
"Whoa, you serious? You mean I'm actually gonna see him in person??"
"If you come with us, ya might. But, since you don't wanna, I guess I'mma just have to tell him you couldn't make it—"
"No—No! You don't have to, I'll go! Oh boy, maybe I'll even get his autograph! My friends are gonna be totally jealous!" He said enthusiastically, pulling his seat belt across his lap and buckling it snugly into place.
"There's a good kiddo. Put your new hat on, a'ight? You wanna look on point for good ol' Professor Shadow."
Without further objection, the boy eagerly shoved his hat onto his head and pulled the car door shut, eyes alight with uncontrollable excitement at the thought of meeting his hero face-to-face.
"And that's how you do it. See? No bite marks." Sneered Blacksuit teasingly, holding his hands up to show Katie their lack of minuscule teeth marks through the lowered car window.
She sent him an extremely rude hand gesture after making sure their son wasn't looking, rolling the window shut and starting up the car's engine. It purred to life like a giant black cat, vibrating gently as though anticipating the night's future events with eagerness.
Blacksuit didn't get in right away, pretending to narcissistically check his reflection on the window's tinted surface.
Katie impatiently honked the horn of their sinister looking vehicle, not wanting to be late despite not havingany specific deadline.
Blacksuit pushed a button to lock up the garage and clambered into the passenger seat, yet before he even got the chance to even shut his door, Katie had already slammed on the gas and peeled out of the driveway as though the house was about to explode.
"Fucking hell, woman! Do you want me to fall out??" Barked Blacksuit, wrestling the car door shut after managing to stabilize himself.
"Hey, there's a kid in the car! Watch your language!" Katie retorted, indicating to their son in the back with a jerk of her head.
"Hmph. That's rich comin' from you."Grumbled Blacksuit under his breath, tugging the seat belt across his chest before she made any more dangerous turns.
Katie ignored him, occasionally glancing at her son through the rear-view mirror. Her concern for his future overpowered her precaution of their plan's dangers.
"Alright you little scamp, listen closely. Your father and I have some ground rules we'd like you to keep in mind."
Being snapped out of his excited state, the boy nodded at her though the mirror and gave both parents his utmost attention.
"Rule number one; never call us by our real names."
"How come?"
"We've got identities to protect, sweetie. And after tonight, you will too."
"That's right. She calls me Blacksuit and her villain name is Madam Felidae." Blacksuit chimed in.
"Although I've told her a gazillion times to drop the 'Madam' part. Sounds too snuffy, y'know?"
"Says the one who's name is completely based off of his outfit." Felidae retaliated snappishly, tossing him a sour smile.
"You're just mad cause' I can dress better than you." Leered Blacksuit, pinching tauntingly at her latex catsuit.
"Seriously, how can you even move in that thing? If ya ask me, only place a get-up like that would fit in, is in our bedroom~"
"OKAY. We're getting off the subject." Felidae abruptly blurted out, flashing Blacksuit a warning sort of look. He shrugged, grinning at her with sinister innocence.
"Alright—alright! Anyway, as I was sayin', all heros n' villains have secret names. Even that Professor Shadow you're so fond of."
The boy's jaw fell open for a second.
"No way! You mean to say his real name isn't Professor Shadow??"
"You bet'cha. Movin' on—"
"What is his real name, then?"
"Heh, wouldn't be a secret if everyone knew, would it? Trust me, it'd make our job a lot easier if we did." Blacksuit Chortled, picking something out of his knife-like teeth in front of his wedding-ring's reflection.
"Okay, back to the topic. Rule number two, is always do exactly as we say, no questions asked." Felidae started up, taking a sharp turn into a dark ally-way to avoid being too conspicuous.
"This isn't going to be like your video games, honey. Out here, there's no restart button or extra lives. You can't afford messing up, not when your life depends on it."
"Okay." Replied the boy, a little nervously this time.
"So if we tell you to run, you run as fast as you can and don't look back. Doesn't matter where you go, if you get lost, we'll find you. I only want you to focus on putting as much distance between you and the danger."
"M'kay."
"If we tell you to hide, we need you to hide real good and not come out until one of us says its safe. So from now on, wherever your father and I take you, make sure to keep your eyes peeled for good hiding spots. Just in case, got it?"
"Yes, mommy."
"That's another thing. Don't go callin' us mommy or dad. If any cops or heros know how much you mean to us, ya run the risk of gettin' kidnapped. They'll use you as leverage, or even as bait to lure us into a trap."
The boy fell silent, lapsing into a brief moment of deep thought.
". . . so . . . say that I did get taken . . . would you come to save me?"
Blacksuit turned a bit and arched a sharp brow at him. It wasn't a gesture of annoyance, but it still gave the boy a startle.
"N-Not that I would. I-I'm only asking, is all . . . " He hastily added.
Blacksuit returned his attention to the stretch of road in front of him, shoving is hands deep into his pockets.
"Course we would. I'd . . . we'd move mountains to get'cha back." Blacksuit mumbled.
The boy smiled, feeling extremely touched at his father's rare display of verbal affection.
"But we a'int gonna let that happen in the first place, now will we?"
"No da—, I-I mean, mister Blacksuit."
"Just Blacksuit's fine, kid."
"Okay. . . " The boy trailed off, sliding his eyes towards the window whilst his brain worked hard to memorize all the rules, watching the silhouetted buildings speed past in looming blurs.
"Hey, whaddaya gonna call me? Am I gonna get a cool name too?" The boy inquired suddenly with eyes alight with fresh curiosity, remembering with a jolt about the whole name-situation.
Both adults exchanged identical proud smiles.
"We got you that hat for a reason, you know." Said Felidae, gaining a look of befuddlement from the youngster.
". . . So . . . what is it, then?"
"Try guessin'."
"I can't! Just tell me!"
"Alright, we'll give you a hint," Said Blacksuit. "Take off your hat and describe it to us."
The ten-year-old tossed him a skeptical mien.
"How's that supposed to help?"
"Just do it."
With a sigh, the boy decided to obey his father's requests and removed the hat from his head, studying it closely and trying to find the words to describe it's features.
"Hm, lemme see . . . " He started, eyes narrowing with focus upon the object in his hands.
"It's black, aaaand . . . uhm . . . "
"And?"
"Er . . . shiny?"
"Hm, not quite. What else is it, other than shiny?"
"Ugh, this is silly!—"
"C'mon, it's easier than you think. If ya don't guess it, we'll just tell ya."
"Fine."
"Tell us what it is, sweetie. You can do it."
". . . Well . . . it's . . . it's a hat?" He guessed rather lamely.
Both parents smiled wider.
"Good-good. Now, mash up those two words, and whaddaya get. . . ?"
The boy paused.
". . . Blackhat . . . ?"
Pride swelled within the villain's hearts.
"Bingo."
"How do you like it?"
The boy's eyes slid back down to his hat, gradually feeling the doubt ebb away as he repeated the name several times in his head.
"Blackhat. . . I like it! Sounds kinda like your name, dad—! O-Oops! Sorry, I-I meant Blacksuit."
"S'fine. I'll let that slide just this one time."
All spirits soared high at that moment, only Felidae's mood dipped in the slightest when she realized where they were, her serene grin replaced with an out-of-the-blue appearance of seriousness.
"We're here."
Her voice took a stern edge, causing all smiles to vanish from their owner's faces.
The car crunched to a stop along a gravel-covered ally, halting directly behind a towering building that made Blackhat feel unbelievably small.
Only then did he truly realize the situation he was about to enter, the thought hitting him hard like a punch to the gut.
He was breaking into a heavily guarded museum to steal the most valuable gemstone on the planet, a crime that simply could not afford any mistakes on his behalf.
'Why couldn't my first crime be robbing a house or something?' Blackhat thought, his nerves buzzing to life like millions of bugs crawling under his skin.
Of course, his parents being . . . well, his parents, wanted his first time to be something he would never forget.
A n d t h e y n e v e r f a i l e d t o p r o v i d e.
"Hey, don't fret, okay? This is your first, all you really have to do is listen, watch and go along for the ride. You do what we say, and everything will be fine."
". . . You promise?"
Felidae did not respond as quickly as Blackhat would've liked her to.
"I can't --"
"We promise." Blacksuit interjected, knowing that any other answer would only frighten Blackhat more.
They sat in silence for several minutes, allowing eachother a couple moments to fully collect their bearings.
At last, their son spoke,
"Okay. Let's do this."
"Atta-boy!"
"Come along, then. It'll be just like a family night out, only instead of us, it'll be Felidae, Blacksuit and our sweet little Blackhat."
Blackhat's timid smile tugged upwards at his mother's words, gathering up the little courage he possessed and opening the car door.
(If there are any grammar mistakes, please point them out to me in the comments!)